20 Ways on How to Improve Your Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is your self-image.
It’s the narrative of how you feel about yourself.
Positive or negative?
Empowering or the mindset of a victim?
There is an infinite number of ways to boost your self-esteem.
It’s different for different people.
I know a guy who boosted his self-esteem through fishing.
‘Fishing??’
Yea.
He was suboptimal in most parts of his life.
Skinny fat, low finances, a job that he hated, etc.
However, with fishing, things were different.
This was one part of his life where he felt in control.
With that control, he improved his self-esteem.
He viewed himself as confident.
That’s all it took to have a spillover effect in other parts of his life.
In this article, I’m going to give you 20 tips to find the fishing of your life.
And no, you don’t have to fish (unless you want to).
Get the suggestions that resonate with you & apply them.
Plenty of the suggestions are from my book, Level Up Mentality.
So, if you resonate with the tips, then be sure to grab the book for a more comprehensive look.
1. Self Image
In his blockbuster book, The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles talks about the mental image.
A mental image gives the mind a target to work towards.
It can be fuzzy at first.
But if you at least aim to have a picture, then it gives the mind an ideal.
An ideal is the target of who you are trying to become.
Without it, it’s difficult to measure if you’re moving forward or not.
Think about it.
If you start driving your car & have no clue where you’re going…
Then you can’t measure if you’re driving in the right direction or not.
Same with life.
Find a mental image to give a narrative to the thoughts.
2. Skills Pay the Bills
Whether you want to hear it or not, learning how to improve your self-esteem is going to require work.
‘What? I thought these tips were going to be quick fixes!’
Some will be. However, the quick fixes won’t work without effort.
It’s like going to a bodybuilder and asking him how he got a body like that.
The very first thing he’ll say is:
‘I work out, eat & sleep properly.’
The quick-fix mind wants to only hear about the supplements.
You ask, ‘what about the supplements, those are the most important part, right?’
The bodybuilder looks back and says:
‘Without the fundamentals, the supplements don’t mean shit.’
It’s the same thing with self-esteem.
What is your base?
What is it that you are working on that will add value to people around you?
- Speaking skills
- Coding skills
- Teaching skills
Something…
Work on something, buddy.
There are resources like Skillshare, this blog, YouTube videos, where you can learn information & apply it asap.
3. Give Before you Get
The selfish mindset causes self-esteem issues.
Always wondering how you can get something without giving something.
Get in the habit of giving first.
If you did step 2, which was to build skills, giving value almost happens by accident!
Back to the bodybuilding example.
One of my close friends is a bodybuilder.
Every now and then, I ask him questions on dieting.
He gives me such simple tips, that I feel like I should pay him.
I appreciate him for cutting through the noise & helping me learn what is important.
However, for him, it’s just another day.
He isn’t consciously putting in any effort.
When you prime the mind to give before you get, this allows you to think more powerful thoughts.
Thoughts that make you feel invincible.
4. Gratitude
Train gratitude like an athlete.
Keep practicing it.
The way you practice it is by starting small & working your way up.
Find ways to be grateful for the things that others would never notice.
The more you prime the mind to see the small wins, the more your reticular activating system rewires in your favor.
‘My what??’
This is the base of neurons in your brain stem that influences perception.
In my Opulence Gratitude List Journal, I give you 10 things to list a day.
You need to keep training your mind to make yourself aware of your wins.
‘Can I write the same wins every day?’
No.
Write different wins every day.
This allows your mind to be creative.
Soon, you’ll build your self-esteem because you make yourself aware of how you are high value.
Grab an Opulence Journal here:
5. Identify What you Don’t Want
If you drive on the road & are hungry, but have no clue where you want to go…
Then try saying where you don’t want to go.
By saying where you don’t want to go, the right spots seem to appear.
That’s also a lesson on self-esteem.
I know someone who often gets jealous of others on social media.
However, when I ask her if she wants to be famous like the people she is jealous of, she’s like:
‘No, that can never be me. I like my privacy too much!’
That’s when she realizes that she’s getting jealous for no reason.
Then she goes back to normal.
It’s like that with self-esteem as well.
6. Teaching
I don’t know about you, but I like to learn.
Especially when I see it relating to me somehow.
I don’t like learning just for the sake of knowing random shit.
To me, that’s a waste of time.
What I learned is that through teaching, I can learn faster.
It’s a selfish and selfless act.
Some people reading this right now maybe like:
‘Armani is giving me value with this post!’
While for me, I’m teaching myself & learning to think clearly.
Who’s to say you can’t do the same thing?
Back to #2, building skills.
You do that properly and you’ll see a lot of the other tips in this article begin to click.
Explain things to others like a winner.
7. Break the Ice First
‘Is it weird to introduce yourself?’
Nope.
As a matter of fact, it’s the socially intelligent thing to do.
If you want an exercise on how to improve your self-esteem, get in the habit of breaking the ice.
‘Cool. What is the opener I should use? Must be complex, right?’
Nope!
A simple hello, or a sniper compliment is all that you need to break the ice.
- A “hello” is self-explanatory. This allows the stranger to feel you out without investing too much time in you.
- A sniper compliment is something that is specific to the other person.
You may not feel the effects of introducing yourself, initially.
But over time, it’ll give you added swag.
8. Public Speaking
My initial encounter with public speaking was to improve my self-esteem.
I joined Toastmasters & worked my way up.
The more speeches I gave, the more curious I got regarding the act of public speaking.
That’s when I studied this skill set in detail.
The reason public speaking boosts your confidence is that it allows you to feel like the modern-day gladiator.
You (by yourself) step into the arena (the stage) and speak in front of an empire (audience).
That makes you feel courageous.
If you’re intrigued about public speaking & want to start, then check out the Speaking Wizard.
I give you a step-by-step system to enter the public speaking world & seamlessly give speeches.
Overcome your anxiety by tackling the beast.
9. Throw an Event
These can be virtual events or public events.
At the time of writing this, there are areas around the world where lockdowns are active.
That’s why I’m including virtual.
Still, the same principles apply.
Gather a group of people under one location for a purpose.
- This can be a mastermind that you created.
- A group where you hold each other accountable.
- Or a group where friends who moved apart, are under one location.
My former roommate did the last one.
He made a GroupMe with himself, me, and my brother.
Normally, he’s very shy.
However, when he set up that group, he felt more confident.
‘Why? It’s only 3 members.’
Doesn’t matter. He still exercised the creator’s mindset.
10. Dress Better
If you dress like a bum, you will feel like a bum.
If you feel like a bum, you’ll think the thoughts of a bum.
Soon, your self-confidence will plummet.
Learn how to improve your self-esteem by dressing up.
I don’t have any special fashion sense.
My style is simple.
You won’t catch me wearing skinny jeans or those shirts with holes in them.
I do know that clothes influence psychology.
Dress up.
This leads me to the next point…
11. Workout
Working out is a natural confidence booster.
It’s something you also want to do when you go through a tough time.
During rock bottom moments, it’s hard to sleep.
When it’s hard to sleep, you probably wake up early on autopilot.
Rather than lying in the darkness and wallowing in misery…
Go to the gym early.
Or at least play some sports.
A strong physique helps you improve self-esteem.
12. Specialized Hobbies
At the beginning of this article, I talked about a guy who built his self-esteem through fishing.
It’s not that strange when you internalize the concept of specialized hobbies.
A specialized hobby is a hobby that suits your interests.
It allows you to feel like you have an advantage.
This is something that resonates with you.
I talked about public speaking earlier, which I love.
A skill set that intertwines perfectly with public speaking is creative writing.
With creative writing, I can write blogs, tweets, daily emails & books.
That’s my version of fishing.
It’s suited around my interests.
Find a hobby that works for you.
If you want to learn the art of Creative Writing, check out the Prolific Writer.
You’ll learn an innovative writing system that will turn you into a content machine!
Get here:
13. Read More
‘Reading is a form of procrastination!’
That’s what idiots say.
Only reading without working is procrastination.
However, reading in combination with action is deadly.
The reason reading is powerful is because it opens up your perspective.
You don’t feel alone.
It’s an amazing feeling when you see someone describing exactly what you’re going through from their lens.
ArmaniTalks is a media company that distributes short stories to help entrepreneurs & shy professionals build confidence through communication skills.
Cool.
When I read Ted Turner’s autobiography, I was stunned.
He broke down in detail the setbacks & struggles of building a media company.
However, he continued in his journey.
Seeing him articulate his path gave me clarity.
With clarity comes courage.
Find some books centered around your pain points.
Or read some autobiographies. Those give perspective like no other.
A few autobiographies I recommend:
14. Learn to Articulate your Feelings
The phrase ’emotional intelligence’ has been hijacked.
Nowadays, it’s viewed as something soft.
Getting in a circle with a group & crying tears of pity.
Not my style.
I view emotional intelligence as the art of your mind & body working together rather than against each other.
One reason you have self-esteem issues is because you have no clue why you have self-esteem issues.
^Read this line again. It’s more profound than it seems at first glance.
When you have no clue what the problem is, the mind will tilt towards the worst-case scenario.
That’s the negativity bias of the brain.
To combat this, learn how to articulate your feelings.
It’s a skillset.
Feel your feelings and express yourself in words.
This is why journaling is such a powerful skillset in life.
Here’s my blog with a few effective methods to journal.
15. Prioritize Humor
I see a lot of these self-discipline circles pushing mental toughness.
Mental toughness is great.
But what spirit is it being done with?
I see these people with serious faces pushing through a task.
That seems fine for them.
But for me, it seems like it requires too much willpower.
I believe in having fun.
And fun makes mental toughness feels like light work.
Plus, the spirit is in a better state too.
To have fun, prioritize humor.
View having a sense of humor as a power move.
Earlier, I said the person who introduces themselves first has more power.
To add onto that, the person who cracks the joke first has more power.
Learn how to improve self-esteem through the power of humor.
16. Finish More Tasks
Imagine if I had you rent out 15 movies that you have been DYING to see.
You put each movie on, one at a time.
However, there is a catch.
You must turn off the movie once the conflict is introduced.
Then, you put in the next movie.
How would that make you feel?
‘I would feel awful.’
Why?
‘Because I’m leaving these movies unfinished!’
Same with life.
The reason you may struggle with self-esteem is because you start a lot of tasks, but don’t finish it.
This causes you to feel like a poser.
Get in the habit of doing what you said you were going to do.
Finish the job.
Watch your self-esteem rise.
17. Avoid Negative News
I see old-school Facebook friends sharing all this garbage on social media.
Spewing hatred.
Debating others.
Why?
Don’t you have anything better to do?
A lot of media nowadays is not trying to improve you.
They are trying to scare you.
‘Why??’
Because by scaring you, they get you talking about them.
That’s why if you’re smart, you need to work on separating empowering information from junk.
I’m not saying that you just create a bubble with positive information.
But know the game.
Your subconscious mind is always absorbing.
Go niched.
‘Niched?’
Yea. If you see the majority doing it, then it’s automatically a red flag.
Find pockets on the internet that have creators spreading powerful information that leaves you better off.
To join an empowering tribe of 4000+ people, check out the Armanitalks Newsletter.
It’s free & will equip you with practical mindset/communication skills principles.
18. Avoid Being Judgmental
Gossiping & being judgmental feels good in the moment.
But when you’re done, you end up separating yourself from the world.
Separation is the root of fear.
Separation is the root of self-esteem issues.
If you want to learn how to improve your self-esteem, aim to understand before judging.
Another trick I heard this Yogi once say is:
‘When you judge others, nitpick yourself.’
Find 3 things you dislike about yourself.
This humanizes you.
Which helps you humanize the other person.
With that being said…. I do see a role of judging & shaming in society.
I believe these serve as feedback systems.
Without any form of shaming & judging, there is no civilized society.
Just a bunch of barbarians.
However, that’s a talk for another time.
If you have massive self-esteem issues, cut back on the judging & shaming.
19. Give Advice to Your Kid Self
I talked about how I enjoyed creative writing.
I’ll give you one more tip in relationship to that.
With creative writing, write to your younger self.
The reason that this is powerful is that it teaches you how to think effectively.
You train the mind to see the bigger picture.
‘Wait! Is that what you are doing right now?’
Yessir.
I’m speaking to my younger self who had self-esteem issues.
And giving him hyper-targeted tips.
This allows me to center my writing to one person.
Also, it allows me to have more perspective.
This is a fun way to boost your self-esteem.
20. Watch Yourself Speaking More
A large part of self-esteem issues comes down to the illusion of transparency.
This is when you think you look ugly when you’re speaking.
This is an illusion.
You don’t look any different.
After starting my YouTube channel, I decided to watch back my videos.
Popular athletes like Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant & Floyd Mayweather keep talking about watching back their film.
Let’s see what the hype is about.
Initially, when I started watching back my videos, I cringed.
Seriously, I physically felt uncomfortable.
I did some research as to why.
I’m no brain scientist, but here’s what I learned.
The sense of self area of the brain found it to be disturbing to see ME talking.
Because the sense of self part is used to viewing life from 1st person.
Not 3rd person.
However, I continued.
No way can the discomfort be that bad, right?
Right!
After some time, I noticed how I looked.
‘Doesn’t everyone know how they look?’
Surprisingly, no.
Plenty people have no clue what they really look like.
Sure, they can identify themselves in a picture.
But they are blurry as to how their face looks without a picture.
That blurriness causes nerves.
The more I watched myself on tape, the more I could visualize myself on autopilot.
Crystal clear.
Tip #1 was to have a mental image.
Watching videos of myself gave me that mental image.
When you know what you look like…
You learn how to improve self-esteem.
Leverage the Tips on How to Improve Self Esteem
Well, there you have it!
20 tips on how to improve your self-esteem.
It doesn’t matter how gifted you are if you do not think you are gifted.
I see so many individuals like that.
Who undermine their wins & make you feel guilty for giving them a compliment.
Their self-esteem is dirt poor.
Luckily, this is a skill set that can be improved over time.
And you can improve it step by step.
Find the tips that resonated with you the most & apply it.
If you want a practical breakdown of connecting the tips into a unified framework, check out the Level Up Mentality: A Guide to Re-Engineer your Mindset for Confidence.
In this book, you’ll learn.
-How to create an alter ego to build a bulletproof self-image.
-Frameworks to build skills & learn efficiently.
-How to chronicle your journey from a hopeless loser into a courageous warrior.
And much more!
Grab a copy here:
– ArmaniTalks 
