Why Do People Gossip?

 

I’ve lived in the Eastern side of the world.

I’ve lived in the Western side of the world.

 

And since growing up in both parts of the world, I have been able to pick up patterns in human nature.

There are some parts that are different.

Eye contact is one of them.

 

In many countries in the East, it’s rude to look at an elder in the eyes until they give permission.

While in the West, avoiding eye contact with an elder makes you seem disinterested.

 

There are tons of differences.

However, there are also a lot of similarities.

 

One of the similarities comes down to gossipping.

There are different definitions of gossip.

But I break it down to talking about other people.

 

Both sides of the world do this.

Coincidence? I think not.

 

There’s a deeper knowledge regarding gossip that you need to understand.

Your social intelligence rides on it.

What is that knowledge? Let’s find out.

 

Is Gossipping Always Bad?

 

Why Do People Gossip?

 

The light of gossip comes down to the definition that you abide by.

There are many definitions on the web.

 

One of the definitions I saw was talking bad about others.

‘Do you follow that definition?’

Not really. I consider that shit-talking, not gossip.

Once again, I am speaking about gossip in the general sense of conversing about people.

 

This is a MASSIVE distinction because it alters your mode of thinking.

The perspective I want to share is that gossip is a tree trunk.

And there are different branches that grow on that trunk.

 

So shit-talking is one of the branches.

However, that’s not the only branch out there.

Often times, you can be talking about people and it can be in a positive light.

 

I hear parents do this for example:

‘Did you hear about Uncle John’s son? He just got accepted into Harvard!’

And a dialogue begins.

 

In this case, the person starting the conversation is not operating with malicious intent.

They are operating with the intent of making their conversation partner aware and speak about Uncle John’s son in a POSITIVE light.

 

Therefore, gossip is not a blanket act.

It has nuances.

 

Why Do People Gossip?

 

There are different reasons for human gossip.

One of the reasons is because of information.

 

The desire to stay informed is built within us.

We like to stay informed at a primal level due to survival reasons.

 

If there is a tiger across the corner, we want to stay updated.

Therefore, the desire to be informed is huge.

 

Another thing that makes a human a human is curiosity.

Animals are curious too.

If you give a dog a new toy, they won’t just go past it.

They will play with it.

 

It’s because the dog wants to test the new toy out.

They are curious about how this toy operates.

 

A mix between wanting to stay informed and curiosity leads to engaging in gossip.

However, there is one more element.

‘Which is?’

Desiring to be the first to break the news.

 

Humans love being the first to break the news in today’s generation.

It’s a sense of achievement because it showcases being FIRST.

We have a lot of built-in competition within us.

And the 1st feeling gives us a sense of joy.

 

That’s why one way to sour a social bond is to say ‘I know’ when someone thinks they are breaking the news to you.

 

As you can see, there are multiple factors that get humans talking about other humans.

Good things to stay aware of you want to keep your social skills sharp.

 

Side Effects of Gossip

 

Quarantine, Windows, Neighbors, House, Yellow, Via

 

There are a lot of people who spend their whole lives WANTING to be the topic of gossip.

‘You’re joking.’

Nope.

 

Think about if Billy becomes a multimillionaire.

He suddenly starts buying all these flashy stuff.

 

A part of him may just buy these items because he enjoys it.

Another part wants others to be AWARE of his accomplishments.

 

If someone comes up to Billy and is like…

‘Yo Sally told me you apparently got a new car?”

Billy is going to play it off like… Sally knew?

But deep inside Billy feels good that he is a topic of interest.

 

That’s how pop culture is born to a certain degree.

And that’s how a lot of celebrities are celebrities.

 

All this attention feels good until you start realizing the dark sides too.

‘Dark sides?”

You know…the shit talking. Don’t forget the shit-talking branch.

 

Whenever you have a large amount of attention on you, people will love you.

And others would despise you.

‘What’s the big deal about that guy anyway?’ they will say.

 

And that’s how they try working against you.

Talking behind your back & smiling to your face.

These people often have a lot of social skills (just a sinister version) because most of their time is spent running their mouths.

 

Now with this whole breakdown.

The moment of truth, should you gossip?

 

 

 

Should You Gossip?

 

When you begin leveling up, you realize that talking about other people no longer seems interesting.

It actually seems redundant & you feel like you’re wasting your time.

 

Ultimately, everything ties back to consciousness.

And one of the most evolved forms of consciousness is humans.

 

So whenever you get good at a craft, you’ll notice yourself tying back to consciousness which leads to humans.

Even if a field doesn’t seem people related.

 

Something as technical as coding ties back to people.

If humans come up in your conversation, don’t be terrified.

Don’t be so afraid of talking about others that you start acting awkward.

Just be conscious of the intent that you’re moving with.

 

Talking people up is a great habit to form. Shows you are a good-hearted person.

And others form a strong perception of you.

 

But if you are the person who always talks shit, then it will affect your brand.

People will take notice. Even the worst shit talkers.

 

It’s a sad and pathetic life when a shit talker welcomes you as one of their own.

That’s a punishment in itself.

 

And oftentimes, shit talkers will BAIT a person who is leveling up to partake in malicious gossip.

A whiner likes new participants to whine with.

 

This is pretty comical when you see the game for what it is.

If you avoid that drama, you’ll always feel good in the long run about it.

 

Others may talk bad about you when you’re winning.

But you know what they say…

People get jealous of winners, not losers.

 

Understand the Game so You Can Navigate It

 

Branch, Branch Point, Split, Fork In The Road, Choice

 

Hopefully, this article gave you some insights into why people gossip.

And you’ll often see you’re on the receiving end of a lot of this.

 

It’s not a good feeling when someone spills our secret.

But it always feels good when someone tells us that our crush likes us back.

The person telling us that news is spilling our crush’s secret though.

 

Ah…

So it feels good when it happens to others but not you, right?

Haha. I’m just messing with you my friend.

 

Understand how the game works so you can navigate it.

People will talk about you.

Good and bad.

 

Just let it leave you unphased.

Don’t be one of those people making life decisions based on the opinions of others.

You can never control the moves of others.

 

But you can understand why they do what they do so you can do what you want to do.

Read that again.

 

For more practical communication insights, subscribe to my free daily newsletter.

 

– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥

 

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