Social Intelligence vs Emotional Intelligence: What’s the Difference?
Social intelligence and emotional intelligence are like cousins.
They are similar.
But not quite the same.
Both are crucial in terms of improving soft skills.
However, the differences between the 2 are difficult to spot.
Emotional intelligence is predominantly about improving internal states.
Social intelligence is predominantly about improving external states.
The 2 are not completely disconnected from one another.
Improving emotional intelligence improves social intelligence & vice versa.
It’s important to see the difference between these 2 worlds to build synergy.
‘Synergy?’
Yes…
When 1+1 equals something far greater than 2.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Contrary to the popular belief, emotional intelligence is not about being emotional & crying out loud all day.
Instead, it’s the opposite.
Emotional intelligence is about building emotional literacy (understanding of internal states) so outbursts are bypassed.
This is when a person behaves in a responsible manner.
‘How do I build emotional literacy?’
By going beyond simple words like ‘happy’, ‘sad’, ‘angry’ etc.
These words serve as training wheels for the mind.
But eventually, you need to grow up and let the training wheels fall off.
This is when a person learns to sit with their feelings & understand what the data is trying to tell them.
At this point, the discrete words of ‘happy’, ‘sad’, and ‘angry’ become blurry.
A person can experience multiple emotions at the same time.
A great time to build emotional literacy is during dark moments.
That’s when the body is highly charged, which allows for deeper insights.
Appreciating the dark moments makes the light moments even more profound.
What is Social Intelligence?
Social intelligence is the etiquette behind social skills:
- Holding conversations.
- Telling jokes.
- Learning the art of empathizing.
- Paying attention.
etc.
Social intelligence is difficult to do without emotional intelligence.
‘Why do you think that is?’
It’s because humans are emotional creatures first.
Success in social intelligence depends upon emotional literacy.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine a businessman who has a lot of things in order.
A product made; fliers made; potential customers are made aware of the product etc.
However, his business has been losing cash for the past 10 years.
They’re down in the hole.
Is he a successful businessman?
‘No!’
Why not!
‘Because he is not remotely profitable.’
Exactly.
In this context, profitability is used as the measurement of success for the business.
Likewise, emotional intelligence is used as the measurement of success in social interactions.
Charisma seems like an outwards process.
However, it starts off as an internal process.
How to Master Social Intelligence & Emotional Intelligence
This subheading is an oxymoron.
Mainly because you never master social intelligence or emotional intelligence.
Instead, this is a field where you become a master by remaining a lifelong newbie.
All fields are like that.
The masters often have the most curious approach because they’ve learned:
- The more they know, the more they have to know.
To improve social intelligence, aim to improve emotional intelligence first.
This is crucial.
It’s hard to be an authentic charismatic presence with a fluffy understanding of the internal states.
This is what I call a charismatic person without much substance.
You ever met someone like that?
A guy who is all talk…
Switches positions depending on the person they are talking to…
And lacks depth?
This is a person who is great with people.
However, they themselves are not functioning properly.
This makes you question:
- Are they REALLY great with people?
It’s like a subpar laptop trying to access the internet.
Can it access it?
Sure.
But the connection will be faulty.
Nothing is wrong with the internet.
But the laptop can be improved.
Leveling up is the process of understanding how to improve internal states to influence outside reality.
Learn this mindset in the Level Up Mentality book:
Building Street Smarts & Thinking in a New Way
For a long time, the mind has been primed to view the world in a linear way.
Do X and Y is bound to happen!
However, that’s not always the case.
In the real world, do X & sometimes Purple will happen.
Unpredictability at its finest.
Therefore, it’s smart to get a head start in developing emotional intelligence.
Find a goal & progress forward on it daily.
^That’s Level Up Mentality for dummies.
Why is this important?
Because in the process of progressing toward that goal, the internal world will be challenged.
The grander the goal, the grander the internal change.
The grander the internal change, the more social interactions are presented.
In the process of progressing toward this goal, there are going to be random moments when social interactions just happen.
People find you.
That’s not to say that you don’t break the ice with others.
However, having the paradigm of seeing others pursue you is when you see that others are not the primary goal.
The vision is.
Socially intelligent people have an abundance mindset towards others.
This allows them to avoid being clingy and needy.
When a person dissolves clinginess & neediness, the entire world wins.
That’s because now the external world makes eye contact with your internal world.
Was it Ever Social Intelligence vs Emotional Intelligence?
It was never about social intelligence vs emotional intelligence.
These 2 worlds were never enemies.
That’s like calling the athletes and referees enemies.
Not quite.
Instead, they are all part of the holistic GAME.
Emotions are feelings with a perception.
Social intelligence is the game of people.
Learning how to manage the internal and external is all a part of the holistic GAME.
It’s easy to get brainwashed nowadays.
So much information all around.
Who is telling the truth & who is spreading propaganda?
A person with emotional intelligence is mature for their age.
They speak the language of intent much better than their peers.
So, they can curve the bs.
And they progress forward anyway.
Day in…
And day out…
For more tips to improve your emotional & social intelligence, be sure to check out the Armani Archives Soft Skills Collection!
Begin the process of mastering your internal & external realities!
GET HERE
– ArmaniTalks 
