How to Have Charisma
Have you ever wondered how to have charisma?
Such an ambiguous term.
We were never taught proper social skills growing up.
Just thrown into the lions of the communications world & expected to figure it out.
But is charisma a framework that can be learned, practiced & mastered?
I like to think so.
I grew up as a very socially awkward individual, who was shy & viewed as standoffish.
This led me to have little friends & acquaintances.
‘Geez bro, that sucks.’
On the contrary, it was one of the best things to happen in my life.
‘Wait, for real??’
Yes. Because I had the opportunity to reengineer my personality towards charisma.
Throughout the past 10 years, I have served as the communication chair for many clubs, worked numerously with people via leadership positions & developed my ArmaniTalks brand to help with social skills.
I was fortunate to learn about several elements of social skills.
Charisma being one of them.
Today, I’d like to talk more about this mythical concept & a SIMPLE mind hack that you can adopt to be your most charismatic self!
Let’s begin.
What is Charisma?
Before we define charisma, I want you to picture 2 charismatic people that you know.
Could be a friend, relative or worker.
Take some time & look for the SIMILARITIES between the 2.
What do you notice?
There is a glow to them, right?
If they were to enter a room, then you wouldn’t worry about it being awkward.
Rather, you KNOW that it will be lit.
Charisma is defined as a compelling attractiveness in personality that can inspire devotion in others.
A pretty powerful statement when you think about it.
This site is about communication skills & leadership.
A leader knows how to inspire their troops to take action.
They aren’t like the archaic boss who just barks orders at their employees.
Therefore, if you want to improve your communication skills/leadership, charisma is no longer optional.
It is mandatory.
Can Anyone Be Charismatic?
Our brain has neuroplasticity to develop new neural pathways to alter our life.
Most skills are not god gifted.
Rather, trained into our existence.
So can anyone become charismatic?
Yes & no.
‘Huh??’
Let me explain.
Charisma is a skill that has a few fundamental frameworks.
So technically, it can be learned.
However, charisma REQUIRES a tamed ego.
An egotistical person will rarely be seen as charismatic.
They will simply spark other egos & unnecessarily burn bridges.
‘Does that mean that I have to kill my ego?’
No.
First of all, you can’t kill your ego.
Second of all, you wouldn’t want to do that either.
A human who tries to kill the ego becomes a ‘nice guy.’
No bueno.
You want to be the person who has an ego but is not controlled by it.
Have your ego serve as a tool.
It gives you direction, but your consciousness is the one driving on the road.
A tamed ego is necessary because the social world is VERY complex.
Not everything will always go your way.
And a lot of times, YOU will be the reason for a conflict.
In a situation like that, a tamed ego raises awareness.
An added awareness allows you to make intelligent social decisions.
The decisions of the charismatic soul.
How to have Charisma?
Let’s cut to the chase.
How to have charisma?
Be interested rather than trying to impress.
The core of charisma comes down to that simple concept.
All too often, when we are in an interaction, we go out of our way to impress.
We want to say the ‘right’ words, break news, and show how cool we are.
‘Do humans try to impress for malicious reasons?’
Not really. A lot of times, humans try to impress due to social anxiety.
They feel so much pressure to contribute, that they subconsciously become controlled by the ego.
Their ego takes them out of the present moment & puts them in their heads.
This leads to not paying attention, interrupting & ruining the vibe.
Here’s the thing fam.
You NEED to do less, not more.
Every time you enter an interaction, your goal is to make the other person feel like the star.
You do that by having a genuine curiosity towards the other person.
Humans are very complex creatures.
So treat them as such with your undivided attention.
Social Anxiety -> Charisma
Here’s a life law for you champ:
When you put the spotlight on yourself, you get social anxiety.
When you put the spotlight on the other person, you get charisma.
That’s why the hypeman is a universally loved figure.
A hype man knows the art of making others feel important.
And giving another human a level of importance fulfills a primal desire.
The desire to belong.
Notice, how I am not filling up this blog with 100’s of practical tips on how to be charismatic.
Rather, I am just giving you ONE tip.
Be interested rather than trying to impress.
When you become interested, magic happens:
- Your nerves will melt.
- You will think of better questions during the conversation.
- The other person will FEEL the attention that they are getting.
- Both of you will feel more relaxed.
You can’t fake realness homie.
Don’t pretend to listen by staring at their vicinity and nodding your head.
Genuinely tune into the conversation.
And if you have a tough time controlling your focus, then I recommend you pick up mediation and/or writing.
Both these acts will make you a clearer thinker.
Be Charismatic and Unlock Doors
The world opens up doors for the charismatic individual.
They shake hands with the right people & always create social opportunities out of thin air.
When you feel too many nerves in an interaction, that means you are putting the spotlight on yourself.
Become aware & gently put the spotlight back on the star of the show.
Your conversation partner.
This is an act that requires a lot of conscious effort in the beginning.
But with practice over time, you’ll start to make charisma your way of life.
Charisma is not an act that you do.
But rather a byproduct of treating someone with respect.
Earlier, I told you to imagine 2 people who were very charismatic.
Guarantee you noticed how they have the ability to make their conversation partner feel like the only person in the room.
Cool, right?
That’s social magic, my friend.
Forget all the gimmicks.
Be interested rather than trying to impress.
And the social superpower of charisma will be right around the corner.
– ArmaniTalks 
