How to Deal with Narcissism In Yourself & In Others
Narcissism is defined as showing a sense of entitlement.
That’s one of the definitions on Google.
I found that definition to be surprising.
I thought it was going to have a more shocking meaning.
Which it does.
- A lack of empathy.
- Showing little remorse.
‘You don’t think entitlement is bad?’
I do. However, I view it as a common trait nowadays.
Which made me think, how many narcissistic people are out there?
The reason why entitlement is on the rise is because things are getting easy.
What’s spooky is that narcissism is taking up a remix in the information age.
Victims are trying to become victims to get more glory.
As information technology is fragmenting a lot of media resources…
Yellow journalism and sensationalist news are non the rise.
This leads to glorifying victims to show how much there is a “lack of opportunities.”
‘Are there a lack of opportunities?’
For some groups, sure.
For most groups, absolutely not. They are simply suffering from entitlement.
Being Self Centered
This article is going to be twofold.
First, you are going to see whether you are narcissistic.
If you consider yourself a victim of some kind, I challenge you to look within.
How much of a victim are you and how much is being dramatized?
Don’t answer that.
Ponder on that.
Next, I’m going to talk about how to deal with narcissism in others.
Do we confront them or let it slide?
Before talking about either of those topics, I want you to know something.
- The mind is wired for narcissism.
- Empathy is earned over time.
The mind focuses on itself & its own needs for survival reasons.
It eventually stretches beyond personal needs when a creator role is taken up.
This is when the person is forced to create & see the different moving variables required to make something significant happen.
When the person sees FIRSTHAND the different moving variables required for creating a system…
That’s when wisdom dawns.
Are you Narcissistic?
I asked you earlier how much of a victim you are & how much is being dramatized.
I told you earlier not to answer it.
Now, I want you to answer it.
The mind when left unchecked creates narratives.
The default narratives tilt towards negativity.
With the current climate of media, negativity sells.
So not only is the natural state of the mind working against you, the mainstream media is constantly shoving negative narratives into the mind.
This leads to entitlement and a lack of hope.
‘Shit….what do I do in this scenario?’
But wisdom dawning is earned.
It’s time to adopt the role of a creator in some form.
Maybe you were a victim of something sinister.
It still stings you to this day.
The question is, now what?
Hold a grudge and succumb to the stream of endless negativity?
Or break the rat race of the mind?
A creator is never entitled.
The day that entitlement melts is the day that you work for everything earned and earn everything that is worked for.
Unlocking the bigger picture.
How to Deal with Narcissism in Others
This one gets tricky.
Hopefully, now you’re starting to understand that entitlement is a norm for the mind.
Breaking out of it requires conscious effort.
Before, you may have thought that this narcissistic fellow was the only person of their type.
Plenty more others like him or her.
The question is, do you bring up the narcissism to them or not?
This is when a one-sized fits all resolution is impossible.
For certain people, it’s best to not bring it up.
Maybe you rarely see this individual.
Just once in a while at a family gathering.
Trying to change them will require a lot of work with low ROI.
Probably not worth it.
On the other hand, if you live with the person, bringing it up is important.
The narcissist may be problem unaware.
Narcissism can happen to highly logical individuals and perfectionists.
It’s not always malicious.
Sometimes, they want things to be so perfect that they can throw others under the bus to make it happen.
It’s all about making the person problem aware through gentle reminders.
If the response back is routinely hostile, then you may want to reevaluate the relationship or your delivery.
Another option exists.
This move works for the type of person who actively tries to get a response.
When dealing with them, ignoring is the main recipe for success.
Indifference is a strategy of its own.
Dealing better with people comes down to wisdom.
Wisdom is different from information and data.
- Data is random jumbles of symbols.
- Information is meaning from data.
- Wisdom is personalized meaning from information.
It’s good to be problem aware of YOU having once been a narcissist.
‘Me? Nah. I’ve never been a narcissist!’
That’s what the mind has been programmed to think.
You probably have.
I probably have.
The most saintly person you know probably has.
That’s what sparked the saintly person’s journey to becoming a saint in the first place.
True wisdom occurs when looking in the mirror happens not by force…
But by own volition.
That’s when it’s easier to deliver a message to a narcissist who is problem unaware.
- It’s because we were once them.
Rather than coming at them sideways, we have a state of grace to us.
Or it’s easier to show them indifference.
Can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.
May they take their journey towards sainthood one day.
Overcome Entitlement & Be the Black Sheep
The black sheep is often seen in a derogatory way.
As someone who lets others down.
I view the black sheep as someone who decided to be different.
It’s easy to be entitled nowadays.
Especially because it’s becoming a fashion statement.
Great communicators are beyond that.
Because great communicators are the black sheep.
It’s impossible to be interesting when you’re like everyone else.
Whining & talking about what’s wrong.
Pain adds depth.
Pain adds structure.
Ultimately, pain brings awareness & teaches you how to deal with narcissism among others.
For more practical communication insights, check out my FREE ebook, 5 Tricks to Be More Charming.