19 Reasons why you aren’t leaving a toxic relationship
‘How come there are so many people not leaving their toxic relationship?’
There are plenty of reasons as to why.
I can go on for days & days.
‘You mind listing out a few? Don’t tell anyone, but I think I may be in a toxic relationship myself.’
Let me give you a list of the top 19 reasons as to why people are not leaving a toxic relationship.
If you identify with more than one of these bullets, then Houston we have a problem!
Let us begin.
1. You Love Them
Shocker, right? But despite their toxic ways &baggage, you still love them. At this point y’all 2 have been through a lot together & you can’t imagine seeing your life without them.
2. You place more value on who they can be rather than who they are.
You may not want to hear this, but you cannot get people to change unless they want to.
Right now, you have very noble intentions for your partner. These intentions are creating an ILLUSION of the person that they COULD be.
Your ego starts twisting & turning their obvious red flags into something minuscule.
But in reality? You need to push your ego aside & see who they really are.
3. You feel like you cannot find anyone better.
At this point, you have very low self-worth.
You are surprised someone like your partner decided to date you in the first place.
So you glorify them.
You think, ‘Hmm..if I end it with them, will I ever find love again?’ Your fear of being lonely is preventing you from leaving a toxic relationship.
4. You cling onto the good ole’ days hoping to see that again.
Let’s face it, the honey moon stage in ANY relationship is fun as fuck. You are traveling to new areas, having a lot of sex, creating new memories etc. But reality check! The honeymoon phase is a facade of what is yet to come. The honeymoon phase is not the reality. That is the phase where everyone is on their best behavior. If you cling onto that past, all you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment.
5. You do not want to see them with someone else.
This is a mix of the ego & the heart.
The ego is thinking ‘Hm.. I invested so much time into this fucker. All that so someone can come in & take credit for all my hard work?’
The heart is thinking ‘I possibly can’t see the person that I love sharing memories with someone other than me.’
6. Your parents & friend circles love each other.
There are a lot of times when the family & friends become just as invested in the relationship as you & your partner!
They talk about:
· How you guys are couple goals.
· How they wish they could find true love like you.
· How your parents can’t wait till y’all get married etc.
After seeing how many people are invested in the relationship, you feel extra hesitant about leaving a toxic relationship.
7. You’re being manipulated & you don’t even see it.
You’ll be surprised by how many people fall into this category. Even when their friends & family are telling you non-stop that you are being played.
You’re either too naive too tell or too innocent to notice.
8. You have 0 life purpose so a toxic relationship gives you meaning
Sad, but true. Your brain needs challenges & tasks to overcome to give meaning to your life.
When you have no purpose at all, you end up assigning meaning to complete bullshit.
You try to fix people, get outraged by nonsense, and oh…refuse to leave toxic relationships.
The toxic relationship is the only semblance of a challenge that your brain can find in your life.
9. You are a sucker for their tears.
If you have any lick of compassion, you are someone who hates to see the people you love, cry.
But believe it or not, your partner knows this.
Which is why they strategically bust out their tears when you think about leaving.
They know you are a sucker for them.
10. You confuse their behavior patterns as ‘mistakes.’
Let me clarify something for you.
If it happens once, it’s a mistake.
If it keeps happening in the same repeated patterns, it’s a BEHAVIOR.
Your ego will fight you on this one but use some damn logic.
11. This is your first relationship so have no clue what toxicity is.
I feel bad for the people that fall into this group, because they genuinely have no clue.
They have never seen the ugly sides to human nature.
Many people find out sooner or later.
12. You stay for the kids
Now I can’t speak on this because I don’t have kids, but I’ve seen many people fall into this boat.
They told me that they desperately wanted to leave but felt like it was their duty to stay for the children.
Very noble of them, but a soul crushing process as well.
13. You think a breakup is something to be ashamed of.
You spent the last few months flaunting your partner on Instagram,Snap chat & just about every social event out there. You can’t fathom how embarrassing it would be to tell your loved ones that y’all broke up.
So you suck it up & stay in the toxic relationship.
14. You felt a heartbreak before & do not want togo down that road again.
A heartbreak is tough as fuck to overcome. Nightmares, loss of appetite, racing thoughts etc. It’s such a tough life moment.
And you know this. Which is why you rather stay in a toxic relationship rather than deal with a heartbreak again.
15. You have been in a string of toxic relationships& think it’s your fault
At this point, you are wondering if the problem is you. You’re seeing so many friends & family members getting married off. So, you know that love exists.
But why are you always caught up in something toxic? This sort of thought patterns leads you to thinking that you are the one to blame.
16. You come from an abusive household, so toxicity is normal for you.
Your childhood dictates your adulthood. And unless you make amends with a very dark past, guess what? You will have a dark present &future. A toxic relationship with your parents can lead to a toxic relationship with all those around you.
17. The have blackmail material on you.
We are all grownups. Couples often take adult pictures &videos. And these pictures & videos are the blackmail material that your partner threatens you with even if you think about leaving them.
The shame that you would feel if those items were to get leaked, strikes fear into your heart, causing you to stay in the toxic relationship.
18. They provide for you, so you don’t want to lose that stability
Your partner is the breadwinner & takes care of the finances, bills, groceries etc. Other than them being a toxic sack of shit,life is pretty good. You like the stability & couldn’t imagine picking up all these responsibilities for yourself. So, you suck it up & decide to stay.
19. You think toxicity = passion
The only similarity toxicity & passion have together is that they both incite strong emotions in you. But one incites a positive perception& the other one is negative.
You’re at the stage where your strong emotions are blinding you from being able to distinguish between the perceptions.
Why you are not leaving a toxic relationship
Well, there you have it. 19 reasons as to why you refuse to leave that toxic relationship.
Is this blog post a little too relatable?
If so, you already know what you must do.
You need to decide.
But don’t be the person who decides, then walks it back in a few days when the toxic person sways them to stay.
Because trust me, they are going to do a shit ton of swaying!
You need to be firm as heck.
Because if you fall into any of these 19 signs, then you need to do some soul searching.
The last thing you need right now is a relationship. The fact that you are willing to condone so much disrespect shows that you have very little self worth.
You need to break it off & discover yourself. Spend sometime creating your identity, so you are not the person who is solely defined by the person that they are dating.
Time is your most precious asset in this world.
And wasting it on hoping that someone changes is not the way to use your most precious asset.
So, leave that toxic relationship and grab a control of your life.
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