How To Cure Loneliness
Feeling lonely is one of the tougher feelings out there.
It’s one of those feelings that has you feeling empty & makes your life feel colorless.
Funny thing is that a lot of people have felt lonely at one point or another in their life.
It’s simply a walking ground towards leveling up.
‘Wait, loneliness is something that can help me level up?’
It sure can.
But only if you leverage it correctly.
Sad truth is that a lot of people are unable to leverage it. Instead, they do the exact opposite.
They go in a toxic loop of negativity & question their very existence.
This leads to further isolation, destruction of self esteem & depression.
But guess what?
That doesn’t have to be the case.
If you are able to understand the fundamentals of what causes loneliness, you will be able to find a way to cure it!
Let’s start off with the basics.
What is Loneliness?
Very often, people confuse being alone with being lonely.
But the 2 are different.
Alone is a physical state.
Lonely is a mental state.
You could be alone & not feel lonely.
You could be with tons of people & still feel lonely.
That is the tricky part of the social dynamics world, my friend.
Loneliness is a perception that begins in the mind.
The most simple way to describe it is when a human feels like no one cares about them.
They feel like a ghost in this world.
Side Effects of Loneliness
A lonely life feels like you have been placed in hell.
It comes with a lot of side effects that rob you of your joy.
A few include:
Inviting toxic people back into your life
A lot of people go back to their toxic ex’s or friends because they want someone to talk to.
Humans are naturally social creatures, so when they are robbed of that, they begin to search for ANYONE.
Good or bad.
Escaping with drugs & alcohol
When you hate reality for what it is, you feel like the only way to cure loneliness is thru the bottle or the bong.
This has you drinking & getting high nonstop to escape.
You temporarily mask the pain, until you need your next fix.
The thing with loneliness is that it gets you bored as fuck.
And when you’re bored, you feel a lack of energy that has you feeling sleepy as hell.
So you sleep & sleep away.
You mess up your sleeping patterns & you end up waking up even more tired.
When you are feeling lonely, you tend to stay in your head a lot.
The human brain is naturally negative leaning for survival purposes. Research the ‘negativity bias.’
The negativity bias is when the brain places more thought on the negatives than the positives when left unchecked.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The negativity bias helped our ancestors stay alert & alive.
But in today’s world? It’s not as needed.
When you have too much time on your hands, you end up thinking a lot.
A lot of those excessive thoughts end up being negative due to the wiring of the brain.
Dark thoughts = Anxiety
How Long Does Loneliness Last?
Loneliness lasts as long as you want it to last.
A lot of people think loneliness will go away on it’s own.
But I’m here to tell you that is not the case.
That’s like thinking you’ll get muscles without ever going to the gym.
A passive approach does not work in building your physical life.
And a passive approach does not work in building your social life.
If you want to cure your loneliness, you need to:
- Accept the fact that you FEEL lonely.
- Hold yourself accountable so your brain can look for solutions.
- Find a life purpose.
- Self discovery.
- Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Aka: social activities.
This 5 step formula will have you overcoming this feeling & coming out as a better person.
Ready to see what each step is about?
Perfect, let’s begin.
1. Accept the fact that you FEEL lonely
Denial delays progress & acknowledgment sparks it.
You need to begin the journey into curing your loneliness by admitting that you feel lonely.
By acknowledging this feeling, you allow yourself to identify your WHY.
Identifying why you are doing something allows you to be more invested in your goal & unleashes your desire.
‘I don’t know bro, I feel a little embarrassed about admitting that I feel lonely.’
But guess what?
A big part of growing as a person is allowing yourself to be vulnerable with yourself.
Once you are willing to feel vulnerable, you can open up your life to significant change.
The only difference between the people who still feel lonely & the ones who overcame it are the ones who decided to acknowledge it.
There is nothing worse than pretending like everything is okay, when deep inside you know something is wrong.
You can lie to a lot of people in this world, but lying to yourself is a special kind of pain.
Avoid going down that road.
2. Hold yourself accountable so your brain can look for solutions
Now that you have acknowledged there is an issue, you need to take blame for being in the position that you’re in.
‘Take blame?? What if it wasn’t my fault?’
Don’t matter homie.
At the end of the day, only you are going to be feeling the dark emotions of loneliness.
So YOU need to take all the blame: Accountability 101.
This step is also important because when you take the blame, you wake up your brain.
Taking blame means that you are accepting pain.
And the brain HATES pain.
It will do anything it possibly can to navigate out of it.
That means devising creative thoughts to help get you out of this hole.
Which leads us onto the next step…
3. Find a life purpose
As important as the last 2 steps were, this one is the most important.
‘How though? What does my life purpose have anything with loneliness?’
Tons, let me explain.
When you don’t have a north star for your life, you tend to place way too much focus on other people.
You live & die by the opinions of others.
Because humans are creatures of purpose.
When we lack a life purpose, our brain searches for one in the bodies of other people.
This step adds a clear definite purpose & structure into your life, which allows you to connect with yourself on a deeper level.
Once you are best friends with yourself, you will never feel lonely again.
The only way to become best friends with yourself is by going thru hell & back with yourself.
The most efficient way to do that is by finding your life mission.
You’ll spend weeks, months or years experimenting to see what makes you feel alive.
Once you have found your north star, you need to work on it everyday for the rest of your life.
Throughout this entire process, you will go thru ups, downs, conflicts, sleepless nights etc.
‘Whoa that sounds bad!’
Nope, that’s good for the following reason:
Acquaintances are formed thru the good times.
Best friends are formed thru the good times & overcoming the bad times.
In order to build that lifelong bond, you need to go thru the roller coaster of emotions with yourself.
Introspection is one hell of a drug.
What’s the point of going thru experiences if you are never going to take the time to reflect upon them?
Take some time here to get to know yourself better.
I highly recommend you pick up journaling & a creative hobby (blogging, painting, photography).
‘Any idea why you recommend journaling & a creative hobby?’
Journaling helps you understand how your mind works.
Creative hobbies helps you understand how your emotions works.
Doing the 2 in harmony helps you unleash self discovery to a whole new level.
In this stage, you begin unlocking your spiritual side.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Aka: social activities.
As you are doing the other steps, I want you to begin taking a more active approach to your social life.
Want to know a secret?
A lot of people out there feel lonely as fuck.
But they are just too lazy to do anything about it.
With the rise in technology, social media, phone apps etc. people find A LOT of ways to drown out their loneliness.
Which is why you need to take an ACTIVE approach.
The real world isn’t college fam.
You aren’t just going to have events being hosted left & right on your campus.
Get comfortable taking matters into your own hands.
Hit up family members to catch up.
Hit up friends that you haven’t talked to in a long time & set up events to get in touch.
‘What if I don’t have any friends?’
Then check out local clubs near you.
I recommend downloading the phone app ‘Meetup‘ & checking out local events near you!
Going to social activities may feel hella uncomfortable at first, but it is all a part of the process.
Deal with the uneasy feeling for long enough, and you’ll soon become strong enough to overcome it.
Curing Loneliness for Good
If you follow this 5 step formula, you will one day learn a crucial life lesson.
You will learn that your loneliness bought out the best in you.
It pushed your back against the wall & gave you the wake up call that you desperately needed.
The wake up call led you to finding your purpose, meeting new people & developing your confidence along the way.
I want you to view this moment as a crucial point in your life.
View it as a journey to become your grandest self.
By approaching this moment with nothing but optimism, you will enjoy your growth.
If you found these tips helpful, share the post on you social media of choice below!
– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥