What Love Really Means
One word that I never fully understood growing up was the word ‘love.’
It seemed like people used it in so many different contexts.
Some would use love to define an affection for their partner.
Others would say ‘I love you’ to their kid.
And some used love to define their intense desire to play a game.
One person who used the word love in a unique way was Kobe Bryant.
He would say that he LOVED basketball.
But I used to wonder… hm… it’s just a game though?
However, there was one game in Kobe’s career where he tore his achilles against the Golden State Warriors.
And rather than get carried off in the stretcher due to the dire pain… he was able to temporarily play through it.
He had 2 free throws that he had to shoot.
And Kobe came back to the game, with a torn achilles & drained both of those free throws.
That was one time I saw love signified through the game of basketball.
The bottom line, love is a noun and a verb.
You can have a state of love.
But unless you show it as well, then the words do not match the actions.
In this blog, I am going to give you my practical definition of love.
I think it’s something that is wired in all of us.
We all just have a different way of expressing it.
What Is Love?
My definition of love is the ability to see past dualities.
It’s about acceptance.
When we transcend the ego.
Imagine that you love your business.
You began building it from the ground up.
There will be times when you are struggling financially & are having bad times.
But that doesn’t bug you enough to quit.
You understand the action that you have to take & execute regardless.
Despite the waves of emotions, you persevere anyway.
You also see this with a relationship between parents and a child.
Around the 11th grade, I was going through my rebellion phase.
Getting in fights, collecting referrals & getting suspended.
Most of the adults in school despised me. To make it worse, I was in the IB program.
The IB program is a collection of the top students for the curriculum.
My series of troubles were bringing a negative light to the IB program.
A lot of the instructors secretly (but not so secretly) wanted me kicked out.
However, despite all of that, my parents stuck by me.
They knew that this was just a phase in my life & that I would outgrow it.
Truth be told, they didn’t have to think that.
It didn’t logically make sense.
But rather, it delved into the faith territory.
Faith doesn’t always add up logically.
It’s a concept that often transcends logic & the material world in itself.
An Analogy for Love
Picture the sea.
From the sea, there are waves on the surface level.
The surface is often volatile.
It is subject to change due to the changes of wind pressures.
But the depth of the sea?
That is safe from the winds.
There is a level of stillness when you start diving DEEP into the sea.
It’s a force of being grounded.
In the context of emotions, the waves represent duality.
If you analyze your personality throughout the day, you notice yourself constantly changing.
Constantly being volatile like the winds.
At one point, you are happy.
At another point, you are frustrated.
Sprinkle in a bit of anxiety…
And so on.
But there is a level of awareness to you that can observe all of these emotions without connecting to them.
Its the depth of the sea that is not bound to change by the wind.
The deep part of you is awareness.
And that level of awareness does not change due to the volatilities of the human emotion.
It just is…
When you begin identifying with the depth of that side to you, you start unlocking your inner love.
You begin accepting your shortcomings & the shortcomings of others.
This doesn’t mean you settle for mediocrity.
But instead, you are able to see past the ego alone.
Which brings me to my next point.
Love = Extending Past Ego
At the core level, humans have 2 different operating systems:
Scarcity is when you feel like something is running out.
-You are leading with the competition mindset.
Abundance is when you feel like there is plenty to go around.
-This is when you lead with the cooperation mindset.
It’s hard to love when you are always competing.
A part of you begins to make yourself discrete from the universe.
The untamed ego will have you believing that you are apart from the universe.
That you are on an island by yourself.
But the tamed ego will have you realize that we are all in it together.
We are all incorporating planet earth & the shared universe.
The tamed ego represents constantly striving for a better life, without violating the rights of others.
When you showcase love, you begin extending past your needs alone.
This is when you unlock a Super Saiyan mode.
A person who is ONLY fighting for themselves may do great in a field.
But eventually, they fizzle out.
However, those who are playing their unique role in the universe?
There is no saying how far they can go.
2 Ways that We Often Unlock Love
There are plenty of ways to unlock love.
I like to view it as the inner fire.
The ability to see past dualities alone is not an easy feat.
It requires a high level of patience/practice.
A certain level of trauma.
2 Ways of Unlocking Love:
This can happen from trauma or a BIG life moment.
Say that your brother suddenly dies in a car accident.
Your brother was your best friend. You guys did everything together.
This moment will tear you apart from within.
You are going to go through a long grieving process & have 2 potential scenarios.
One road is coming out of this moment more bitter.
Another road is learning the art of acceptance & living a life that your brother will be proud of.
I’ve seen an individual who went through a moment like this.
A very bitter fellow who learned the art of becoming more accepting as a few years had passed.
He came out of the situation as a more empathetic individual.
Trauma can teach us more about life than a book ever will.
This path requires constant practice of connecting with the heart.
The heart has a level of intelligence that transcends the brain.
The brain has a left & right component which can often lead to dualistic thinking.
But the heart is grounded.
In order to connect with the heart, you need to train the mind to connect with it.
Gratitude is a great option.
Acknowledge all the wins in your life (big or small).
One of the best ways to define gratitude is by being your own hype man.
Don’t be humble when you are practicing your gratefulness exercises.
Be cocky in your own presence.
FEEL the sensations in the heart.
That’s when you know you are doing it correctly.
Love is the Limitless Fire
Fire has the power to spread warmth to the world.
When our ancient ancestors discovered fire, the WHOLE game had changed.
The discovery of fire ushered in a new level of creativity.
It allowed the ancient ancestors to stay awake even when the sun went out.
Also, it allowed them to melt items which created cave art.
Fire produced magic.
We have an internal fire within us.
An that is held within the heart.
Going past dualities of good & bad, sad & happy is not easy.
But the more you train yourself to see the silver lining in things…
The more you unlock your inner love.
We all express love in a different way.
How are you expressing yours?
For more insights into the world of emotional intelligence, sign up for my free daily newsletter.
– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥