3 Steps to Ethically Breakup with Someone
Breaking up with someone is tough to do.
It’s like you wasted so much time of your life.
It’s one thing to get dumped.
You didn’t have much say, they did.
But when you break up with someone, it’s your judgment leading the way.
You are the one taking control.
It’s easy to blow it when you break up with someone.
You can accidentally be very cold and ruin the person for a long time.
I believe there is an ethical way to break up with someone.
Liar, Liar
When you break up with someone, they will view you as a liar.
In the honeymoon stage, you promised them that you were going to be with them forever.
They believed you.
They promised the same thing back.
Now time has passed, and the opposite is occurring.
You’re not honoring your “forever” commitment.
You’re seen as a liar.
When people are labeled a liar, it hurts their soul.
Especially when they view themselves as an honorable person.
People are so afraid of being viewed as a liar, that they will do 2 of the following:
- They will force themselves to remain in the relationship.
- They will go ghost mode.
For the first bullet, this person doesn’t want confrontation, so they will pretend to be back in love with their partner.
It’s one thing to stay in the relationship for religious reasons.
It’s another thing to stay in the relationship because you’re afraid of confrontation.
You’re not doing anyone any favors.
Eventually, the inevitable will happen.
Rather than breaking up on May 2nd, y’all will break up on December 14th.
The other way people behave to avoid being called a liar is that they go ghost mode.
They block their partner and their partner’s friends on social media.
This person disappears from the planet.
This is the immature way to go about it.
Accept You’ll Be Viewed as a Liar and Give Them Closure
You need to accept that you will be seen as a villain in their story.
Your next goal is to give them closure.
Giving closure is when we give them unlimited information that they are curious about on why the relationship is ending, so they can move on to the next chapter of their life.
Before breaking up with someone, ask:
‘How can I give this person closure?’
This question will force you to evaluate the other person and yourself.
You’ll ask:
‘Where did things go wrong?’
When you ask that question, a lot of times, you will be led back to flaws about yourself!
Your partner is doing everything right while you are doing everything wrong.
You’re mistakenly taking out your low self-worth on them.
When you make this realization, you’ll often abort the breakup mission.
You were just being impulsive.
Other times, when you ask:
‘How can I give my partner closure?’
You’ll be given more reasons to break up with them.
You’ll be able to explain exactly where things went wrong.
‘I always wanted to be close with my in-laws. But clearly, your parents have a problem with my religion. I don’t ever plan to convert, and I know you don’t ever plan to convert either. I’m very sorry, but it’s not going to work out.’
You are giving them closure that the reason for the breakup is because of religion.
Now they know.
If you don’t give them any closure, they’ll always wonder:
‘Where did things go wrong?’
Commit To the Decision
I don’t think you should keep in touch with an ex after a breakup.
Go no contact.
Unless you have kids, it’s not smart to talk to an ex.
Because rather than committing to an idea, you will waiver.
One second, you want to break up.
4 months in, you begin second-guessing yourself.
Don’t even have them on social media.
It’s hard not to second-guess yourself when you keep stalking their Instagram page.
To ethically break up with someone, make sure you cut ties with them.
This may seem counterintuitive.
It seems cold.
In my opinion, it’s short-term pain for long-term pleasure.
For both parties.
Over time, you’ll allow the other person to move on.
Sure, they will be upset for a long time as they process their emotions.
But if you expand your perspective to 20 years, then you will see that it was for the best.
20 years from now, this person will have a husband, 2 kids, a dog, and a nice house.
A whole new life.
They wouldn’t have been given that whole new life if you kept stringing them along and making them think there was another chance with you.
Process Your Emotions
Thus far, we have talked about:
- Accept that you will be viewed as a liar.
- Give them closure.
- Commit to your decision by cutting ties.
A bonus tip is to learn from this relationship.
Relationships are a crash course on human nature.
Take some time to learn about what you did right and what you did wrong.
At times, you will feel so relieved that the relationship is over that you don’t take the time to process the relationship.
Big mistake.
Think about:
- What you did right.
- What you can improve.
- Why you and your partner grew apart.
- How you can prevent future relationships from growing apart.
You’ll gain wisdom to advise yourself better in the future.
Heartbreaks Aren’t Easy
It’s not smart to string someone along for years when you know they aren’t right for you.
Let them go.
But let them go ethically.
Give them the closure they need.
Allow them to ask you any questions and respond back honestly.
Nothing is off-limits.
Once you give them all of their desired info, allow them to begin their new chapter.
In the future, you 2 may run into each other again.
There is no bad blood.
It’s because you ended the relationship ethically, rather than disappearing from the face of the earth.
For more insights into emotional intelligence, check out the Armani Archives: EQ Edition.
❤️Ebook
❤️Paperback/Kindle
❤️Audiobook
– ArmaniTalks 
