Cutting People Off: Is Ghosting Bad?
With the rise of technology, it is EXTREMELY easy to cut people off.
It just comes down to blocking their number.
But the question is, what is the morality regarding this?
Is ghosting people right or wrong?
Ghosting someone is when you just disappear from their life.
From your end, all the results of this act have been done.
But for the other person? Self-doubt can begin.
Ghosting someone you led on can do some harm to their confidence & self-esteem.
In your world, you may think ‘so what?’
But that’s what this blog is going to be about.
I’m going to be breaking down the art of cutting people off & approach this from a humane stance.
We are going to discuss the types of people in your life, toxicity, and when to cut someone off.
If you’ve been struggling with this decision, then this post will bring clarity.
The Types of People in Your Life
After we are out of formal education, we are given more power.
Power in terms of how we want to carry ourselves.
We now have more time to pick up routines, hobbies & curate friend circles.
As we get older, social opportunities are different.
In formal education, we had people surrounded by us for the most part (other students in class).
Nowadays, you may have co-workers, business partners, and some close friends.
Overall, our social circles get smaller as we age.
With that being said, the people who are around us.. what kind of people are they?
And what kind of person are you?
Are you someone who is leveling up, or just taking it easy?
If you are someone taking it easy, then you may meet a lot of people with a similar vibe.
But if you are leveling up, then you’re social opportunities are going to be A LOT different.
You’ll soon realize that the majority are not trying to improve mentally, spiritually, and physically.
You’re an outlier, not the norm.
This realization will have you realizing that there are a few types of people in your world.
-People joining you in your journey.
-Those who are just there.
-And those who may be holding you back…
Cutting Ties with Old Friends?
As you are leveling up, you’ll notice that there are old friends who may have a different world view.
People who you used to get fucked up with every weekday still want to do the same thing.
Nah, you’re in a different mindset.
So what do you do with these old friends?
Do you cut them off?
Personally, I don’t.
Instead, I adopt the love them from a distance approach.
These old school friends, they still have a love for you.
And in this dark world, those who have a love for you, is very rare.
Cutting them off because YOU are leveling up may seem good at the moment.
From a practical viewpoint, yes.
Why hang out with these bozos, when they aren’t adding to my bank account? you say.
But on an emotional level, they do give you value.
These people know you.
You guys shared memories.
Have inside jokes…etc.
Laughs will be shared when you have time & are in their presence.
Love them from a distance.
You may have to turn down more events, just because your priorities are different.
And they’ll understand if you are all homies.
The dope thing is that a lot of these close people will mature at their own pace.
They may radiate with your worldview in a couple of years.
This allows you to maintain the bond & have a new buddy in the level up journey as well.
Leveling up can get lonely.
So strictly cutting off close friends may be dangerous.
Is Ghosting Ever Fine?
‘So Armani, you mentioned that ghosting good friends isn’t fine. Isn’t it fine for anyone?’
Ghost people who had malice towards you.
These people are snakes.
For this, you wanna know the big difference between mistake and malice.
‘What the difference?’
-Mistake is an error without a negative intent towards you.
-Malice is a move with negative intent towards you.
There are going to be many people who do you dirty in life.
And our gut instinct is to make a BIG scene out of it.
I like the distance gracefully approach.
Let em have no clue when the bridge has been burned.
For this to work though, you need evidence that these people fucked you over.
Not ‘he said, she said’ gossip.
HARD PROOF EVIDENCE.
Don’t try to question someone’s character because others told you to.
If you have the evidence, then confronting is a choice.
You can if you need closure.
I know how that part works.
But a lot of these people will rarely admit to their malice.
After your closure, you can ghost them.
Ghosting has a lot of benefits when applied strategically.
The social skills world ain’t always pretty.
The Lower Tier Ghosting
So far, I have talked about close friends.
I said how it’s good to distance if need be, rather than cut them off.
And for people who conducted malice towards you?
Cut them off.
But what about the people who didn’t conduct malice towards you?
You 2 just didn’t have a spark.
Is ghosting unethical?
I’m going to have to go with a no.
This may be a polarizing opinion.
‘Armani, this girl I went on a date with isn’t messaging me back. You’re telling me that isn’t unethical?’
One thing I learned about the real world is that people are scared of confrontation.
They are very scared.
Even if you aren’t an intimidating person.
When I first started ArmaniTalks, I would give free consultations to collect leads for long term clients.
And a lot of people opted into the free call.
They committed to a long term coaching package.
And then poof…they disappear.
They leave me on “read” on Whatsapp.
Don’t return my calls.
Don’t answer my emails..
I was like, why?
If you didn’t want the sessions, no problem with me.
No problem at all!
Just tell me so I can cross you off my list & focus on others.
But these people didn’t have the balls to tell me.
I was livid in the beginning stages.
Couldn’t believe they would waste my time like this.
But afterward, I realized that they didn’t owe me anything.
This is lower-tier ghosting.
I don’t view it as unethical.
I just view it as some people don’t always have the stomach for confrontation.
That’s why they are cutting people off.
And if we are being real, we have all fallen into this boat many times in our lives.
For this one, my mindset is ‘it is what it is.’
Where Do You Stand With Cutting people off?
Social skills is a very ambiguous topic.
We all will have different perspectives based on our experiences.
And that’s perfectly fine.
Form this blog, you may have found some parts that resonated with you.
Or you just disagree with everything.
But no matter what your stance is…
Ghosting is going to happen A LOT in our generation.
The generation that is wired to connect, will also opt to disconnect many times as well.
Sometimes, it’s personal.
And sometimes, it’s not personal.
No matter how we view social skills.
We can all agree on 2 things.
Humans are unpredictable.
And a thick skin never hurts.
Where do you stand with cutting people off?
Ponder on this.
It’s a powerful question that will dictate a lot of social moves.
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– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥