5 Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem
Self-image is different than self-esteem.
Self-image is the vision you have of yourself.
There are tons of experiences you have been through.
However, a few come to mind when you recall them.
I doubt you recall every single experience you have ever been through.
Like how you brushed your teeth 3 days ago in the morning.
But I’m sure you are easily able to recall an event like getting your master’s degree.
Starting a business.
Birth of a newborn etc.
‘Yes, all the good moments, right?’
Nope, bad moments too.
Getting fired from your job.
Going through a bad breakup.
Death of a person you enjoyed being with.
The meaningful moments (positive or negative) that we recall the most shape our self-image.
‘Okay, then what is self-esteem?’
Self-esteem is our perception of our self-image.
Is the self-image something we are proud of or something we are repulsed by?
Low Self-Esteem Symptoms
In the world of feelings, only 2 options exist:
Empowering or draining.
‘Can low self-esteem ever be changed?’
Of course. Self-esteem is like play-doh. It can be molded to our desires. More on that shortly.
For now, let’s go through a few low self-esteem symptoms.
1. Sore Winner
A sore loser is someone who cannot take a loss.
A sore winner is someone who cannot take a win.
When this person wins, they say stuff like:
- About time I finally won something.
- Anyone could have won this.
- How come my win is not as big as their win?
- This win is not as special as others are telling me it is.
They are going out of their way to undermine their recent win.
Result?
They continue to see losses in the future & a ‘lack of opportunities.’
2. Identity Is Crafted by Others
A few years ago, I was looking for more speaking engagements to build my portfolio.
My speaking mentor said that I should go around Tampa Bay & volunteer to do talks for free.
Day in and day out, I went to different parts of Tampa looking to get a speaking gig.
Eventually, I stumbled into a retirement home.
The event coordinator in the retirement home told me:
‘Hm, you seem too young to speak. Our speakers are normally a lot older.’
After hearing that, I went back on the road and looked for more gigs.
Being labeled ‘too young’ rolled off my back.
However, younger me would have held onto that label. It would have identified me.
‘Young? Geez, guess I should avoid trying to speak at events!’
People with low self-esteem allow others to create their narrative for them.
And it doesn’t even matter if the narrative depicts them as helpless and incompetent.
3. Tearing Others Down
People who excessively make fun of others often suffer from low self-esteem.
They were picked on growing up or view themselves as incompetent.
So, they try to knock others a few levels down.
Shaquille O Neal was a great basketball player.
He’s a top 5 center of all time.
But it’s easy to tell he’s highly sensitive about how others view him.
When his back is against the wall, he makes fun of others and aims to take them down the ladder.
Go back to his early childhood.
He was mocked for being so tall at an early age.
Growing up, he didn’t have the wit he does today.
Nowadays, when someone questions his basketball legacy, the defense mechanism sparks up & he occasionally bullies others along the way.
4. Talks Bad About Others
If someone is hating on someone higher than them, then beware.
It’s not safe to level up around this person.
‘Why not?’
Because who do you think they will hate on once you surpass them in a facet of life?
I find it strange when someone talks about celebrities or other people too much.
I understand occasionally talking about people. But excessively? That’s a red flag.
It’s one thing to admire a celebrity’s skillset with their craft.
It’s a completely different ball game to worship them.
And it’s a wayyy different ball game to spend time leaving mean comments on their wall.
Social media brings out a lot of people’s weird sides.
People who seem calm and normal in real life become freaks on social media.
Leaving long block paragraphs on other people’s pages.
Why?
Does that seem like a normal thing to do?
Nah… it’s the trait of someone with low self-esteem.
5. Lacks a Gratitude Practice
Do you count your wins….at all?
If not, low self-esteem is around the corner.
What knowledge is for the mind, gratitude is for the nervous system.
It’s not just about stacking up wins.
It’s about acknowledging the wins you have been stacking up.
I had this college roommate who got a ton of girls.
However, each girl he hooked up with made him feel empty.
He never realized how easy it was for him to talk to women.
Instead, he just focused on those few interactions that didn’t go his way.
A 6-foot surfer with a 6 pack & decent style.
But when he looked in the mirror, he saw a loser.
Spot the Low Self Esteem Symptoms & Build Confidence
Self-esteem cannot be bought.
It needs to be earned.
A few ways to build self-esteem are to:
- Acquire skills by building something.
- Provide value to others with your skills.
- Make yourself aware of the skills you built & the value you provided (gratitude).
At first, you won’t notice much of a difference in self-esteem.
But over time, there will be a significant change in perception of how you view yourself.
The universe wins when a person builds their self-esteem.
Because when they build their self-esteem, they approach each interaction with more life.
They are no longer the moody, mopey & miserable person of the past.
Instead, now there is a fire that radiates which lights up the darkest of rooms.
For more practical insights to build self-esteem, be sure to check out:
- Level Up Mentality: A Guide to Reengineer your Mindset for Confidence
Ebook
Paperback/Kindle
Audiobook
– ArmaniTalks 
