The Truth About Unhealed Anger
You ever had that moment when you had something bothering you, but you had no clue what the issue was?
And you were extra annoyed because the things that were bothering you were minuscule at best.
Getting cut off in a conversation, dropping something, spilling your water got you heated.
But it didn’t stop there.
The fact that you didn’t know what was bugging you just made you more annoyed.
This toxic cycle keeps going & going until you become unbearable to hang out with.
You snap at everyone around you, drain your energy & decide to mail it in for the rest of the day.
Pretty sure if you are still reading this, then you can relate.
‘Can I tell you a secret Armani?’
‘I can relate the fuck out of what you are saying right now. Why am I like this?’
Because you are emotionally unintelligent.
it’s not completely your fault that you are like this & it’s not too late to change.
Society plays a big factor in the role of emotional unintelligence floating around in today’s world.
You are rarely taught the subject in school, can barely find any books on it & question whether the topic is important in the first place!
But it’s time to change that.
Today, you & i are going to enter the world of emotional intelligence together.
And the goal for you is to come out with knowledge to help you become a changed man.
Excellent. Let us begin.
Emotions are for Sissies!
You ever heard from those television shows that would always talk about how emotions were for sissies? Especially for men?
‘Yes, too many times to count.’
That is heavily misguided.
‘Are you saying it is okay for me to cry anytime I want?’
‘Then what are you saying?’
I am telling you to find balance.
Life will not always go your way. There will be plenty of times when you are hurt due to unforeseen circumstances.
And you may feel too much pride to tell someone else about it.
Honest truth is that I am like that myself.
I don’t like seeing people watching my moves, feeling sorry for me & acting like I’m some kind of a victim.
‘So what do you do?’
Well, what I used to do was act like my emotions didn’t exist & move on.
But that was very dangerous.
Accepting your emotions will make you feel human.
Suppressing your emotions will transform you into a monster.
Even if you aren’t the person to go on & tell everyone, you can’t suppress your emotions.
You must accept what happened, otherwise you will begin your evolution for the worst.
‘But what if I don’t like sharing my weak sides with others?’
If you are a person with too much pride to share your weak sides, then I can understand.
Other people don’t need to see your weak sides as much as you need to see your weak sides.
(Disclaimer: I am sharing what has worked for me in my life. If you are someone with depression issues & don’t know how to handle it, then I suggest you seek help.)
The Dangers of Suppressing your Emotions
Want to know a scary secret?
Suppressing a negative emotion will cause it to go to the gym & come back 10x stronger.
Although you are allowing your conscious mind to forcefully suppress the emotions & change to new thoughts, your subconscious mind remembers the feelings.
And the fact that you are trying to change thoughts when a certain memory comes up indicates a negative feeling to the subconscious mind.
This leads to a sticky feeling that spills over to other parts of your life.
In the beginning of this article I was talking about how small things make you angry.
Well small things make you angry when you are hiding something BIG.
You can runway champ, but you can’t hide.
The Importance of Healing
Healed Pain = Wisdom
Unhealed Pain = Anger
When you try to suppress emotions, it leads to a lot of destruction in the future.
You get angry about small things, feel uneasy all the time & begin to become less tolerant of people.
But when you take the time heal from the pain, you get wisdom.
It’s amazing how it works.
A small transition that allows for an abundance of positive change.
‘Are you saying my pain is one day going to be a good thing?’
Pain makes you mature quicker.
Heck, pain makes you mature in the first place.
It helps you see life slower, make more rational decisions & feel a sense of ease from within.
But you won’t get that if you have the idea that emotions are sissies.
Emotions are for sissies if you let society dictate your beliefs.
But in reality?
Emotions = Energy in Motion
Energy is objective, not subjective.
Feel the energy with your body, don’t micro analyze it with your mind.
Allows yourself to feel the energy so you can understand it.
You are not on your path way to healing the anger.
How do you Heal Anger?
Healing your anger comes in many shapes & forms.
But before sharing the shapes & forms, the emotionally intelligent individual must do 1 particular thing.
They need to admit they have a problem in the first place.
For many years, I had anger issues, but I was in denial.
Thought everyone else was being unreasonable & that I was the saint.
But nah, I was in the wrong.
It took many burned bridges, stress & impulsive actions to realize the error in my ways.
But guess what?
Once you are able to admit that you have anger issues, you can trace back what the issues are.
Every emotionally intelligent person was once emotionally unintelligent, so don’t beat yourself up over it.
Once you have accepted that you have an issue, you can do a few things:
- Talk to a loved one.
- Talk to a therapist.
All of them will help you understand what has led to your anger & help you gain a sense of clarity.
I do journaling because I like learning about myself, by myself.
I don’t want a bunch of people in my business,.
But do whichever method works best for you!
Once you have gained clarity, you need to do 1 last thing.
‘What is that!?’
How often do you seen people who meditate get angry & pissed off?
‘Rarely. Why is that?’
Because meditating exercises your breath.
And the more you exercise your breath, the more emotionally intelligent you become.
Just find a quiet spot, count your natural breaths. When you lose track of your breath, make yourself aware & go back to counting your breaths.
Begin of 2 minutes a day, 2 times a day.
Get the momentum going & build up from there.
- Accept you have a problem so you can begin to change.
- Talk to a loved one, therapist or journal so you can gain clarity.
- Meditate so you can have long lasting changes.
Heal your Anger & Gain back Control
Due to the stresses of the real world, humans can become very angry creatures.
The excess energy from the external world that is radiated to the internal world leads to strong emotions.
The calmest guy you know feels angry just like you.
But want to know something?
Humans are INTELLIGENT creatures.
They are able to make themselves aware of destructive behaviors & change whenever they are ready.
You are ready.
There is no reason that you have to be a sub optimal version of yourself.
Use your mind to understand & overpower your emotions, gain clarity, heal your anger & mature along they way.
You got this.
Although society didn’t have your back with emotional intelligence, I do.
If you want more tips on how to be emotionally intelligence to maximize your energy & feel in control, sign up for my free daily newsletter.
I share personal experiences, stories & tactics to have you feeling emotional intelligent and more mature than ever!
– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥