Why Many Successful People Have Low Self-Esteem

There’s this weird paradox in the real world.

Smart people often think they know nothing, while dumb people act like they know everything.

Similar connection with confidence.

A lot of people who are highly accomplished lack confidence.

While those who sit on their couch all day eating Cheetos have tons of confidence.

Where does the latter group’s confidence come from?

Confidence comes from the brick-and-cement mentality.

We go through a lot of experiences, but we don’t acknowledge those experiences.

If I just left a bunch of bricks in your backyard, you’d be furious.

You’d say:

‘Hey! Remove that junk from my property.’

But if I CEMENT those bricks into a guesthouse, then you’d feel like a million bucks.

‘Wow, a free guesthouse? My property value just skyrocketed!’

The reason that bums have confidence is because they have mastered the art of cementing their bricks.

I give them some props for that.

Even if they are delusional, they have worked for their confidence to a certain degree.

The reason that a lot of highly accomplished people lack self-worth is because they keep collecting bricks…

But they have yet to cement anything!

Why Low Self-Worth Can Be Good

Being too confident is not a good thing.

It makes someone develop blind spots.

Just like a battery has a positive and negative sign, so do our hearts.

A battery would not create any voltage if only the positive sign was there.

And similarly, we would not create any greatness if only positive emotions were there.

To be ambitious, a person must be:

• Running away from pain.
• Running towards glory.

The first bullet is the negative symbol.

The second bullet is the positive symbol.

Combine the 2, and our inner battery is activated.

How to Feel Grateful for Your Wins

What does it mean to be grateful?

If you ask most people, they give a very unsatisfactory definition.

They’ll say:

‘To feel good about something.’

And others use the definition within the definition.

‘Gratefulness is when you are grateful for something.’

Um…duh!!

My definition of being grateful is to acknowledge something.

That’s all.

If you are a high performer with low self-esteem, then you just need to acknowledge what you have done.

A lot of times, you’ve completely forgotten about something that was very meaningful for you back in the days.

I have tons of Toastmasters ribbons.

• Best evaluator, best table topics, and best speaker.

I have so many of them that I have developed a blindness towards them.

When I got my first-ever ribbon, I was euphoric.

For a long time, I hated public speaking.

I could barely give a talk in front of 5 people.

So, when I won my first ribbon after talking to 20 people, I felt like I was flying.

I sat in my car just looking at that ribbon for like 30 minutes.

That ribbon was a symbol of what was to come.

Fast forward 5 years, and that ribbon was just collecting dust.

I had gotten a bunch more since then.

On one particular day, I ACKNOWLEDGED that I had won a ribbon.

No one won it for me.

I got on stage, gave a talk, and the audience voted me as the winner.

I wasn’t doing anything special.

Acknowledging is not about doing anything special.

It’s simply about recalling what is.

When I recalled what I did, I felt a surge of gratitude for this ribbon.

Practice Gratitude Like an Athlete

Imagine if a top-tier athlete said:

‘I’m not going to practice today.’

One day is fine.

But if the days stack up, then this athlete won’t be top-tier anymore.

It doesn’t matter how the athlete feels…

To be great, he must practice.

Same with gratitude.

Rather than having an ‘I’ll get around to it’ mentality, have an athlete’s mentality.

I must do it!

Gratitude allows us to recondition the mind.

It’s not that difficult to do when we have the correct definition of how to be grateful.

In this talk, I said being grateful is when we acknowledge something.

Recalling an important moment is like you getting a brick and adding some cement to it.

Often, when you consciously acknowledge something, it activates another thought to be grateful for.

After I recalled the Toastmasters ribbon, I recalled a Toastmasters speech competition that I was a part of.

When a new thought is activated from a prior thought, it’s similar to a brick with cement being attached to another brick.

Micros steps are better than no steps.

Soon a tower of confidence is built.

Avoid Getting too Grateful

I would like to end this talk with a word of caution.

Great people are weird.

They are not normal and are very different from others in society.

A lot of them do struggle with self-esteem.

Despite all the accolades, they can’t run away from their haunted past.

It’s easy to say something is wrong with them.

However, dark energy is still a form of energy.

I think dark energy is best used.

When someone is too grateful, they can easily get complacent.

They think.

‘Why bother working on new things? I already have everything.’

Poor mindset to have.

The day you think you have everything is the day you begin to lose everything.

Don’t vilify dark emotions.

Low self-esteem happens to the best of us.

Use that as a compass on new vehicles to work on.

We need the negative charge and the positive charge.

When we have both, we are DRIVEN into motion.

It doesn’t feel like we are doing too much.

Just avoid letting the negative emotions get out of hand.

Many people work so hard and never acknowledge the fruits of their hard work.

Eventually, they begin to develop the “what’s even the point” mentality.

Ambition without gratitude turns into desperation.

Be grateful for your wins.

And remain hungry to accumulate more wins.

For more insights into mindset & confidence, be sure to check out the Level Up Mentality

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– ArmaniTalks