What To Do If You’re Ugly [Honest Response]
I’d be lying if I said that looks didn’t play a role in reality.
2 examples come in the form of:
- Pretty privilege.
- And building rapid trust when you’re good-looking.
Pretty privilege is when a person is given opportunities due to a pretty face.
The person is pretty, therefore, others are warmer and more condoning of their faults.
Building trust with good looks is also a thing.
A lot of serial killers were charming and good-looking.
Due to their good looks, they were able to disarm their victims quicker.
I’d also be lying if I said looks were everything.
There is a big difference between:
- Handsome and attractive.
- Beautiful and attractive.
One is a physical feature.
The other is a behavioral feature.
Let’s talk about what to do if you’re ugly.
But first, we need to further distinguish the physical traits from the behavioral traits.
Physicality vs. Behavior
Participate with me. What are some physical traits of a human?
‘Height.’
Correct, that is something that is physical in nature. Keep going.
‘Jaw structure.’
Sure, that’s something. What else?
‘The color of the eyes.’
Cool, you are getting the drift.
Now, what are some behavioral traits?
‘Uh, humor?’
Bingo. Humor is a behavioral trait. What else?
‘Someone who is a hard worker.’
Sure, anything else?
‘Ambition.’
Cool.
So now we understand that a human has a:
- Physical side.
and
- Behavioral side (the intangibles).
The person who keeps pondering on how ugly they are views:
The physical side as WAY more important than the behavioral side.
Controlling the Physical
There are certain things about the physical that cannot change.
After a certain age, the height is fixed.
However, there are certain things about the physical that can change.
For example:
That belly.
I never knew of the phrase ‘heightist’ before.
A heightist is a person who discriminates against someone based on their height.
I learned what a heightist was from a gentleman named Sad Sam.
‘Why was he so sad?’
Because Sam goes on a lot of dating apps and is 5’6.
A lot of people turn him down when they find out he’s 5’6.
They think he is too short.
The problem isn’t just being 5’6 though…
He is also very heavy.
Rather than focusing on the controllable.
He is dwelling on the uncontrollable.
Sad Sam can’t change his height.
But he can definitely lose weight.
Due to Sam’s perspective, his confidence is getting shattered swipe by swipe.
The way to prevent his confidence from fully shattering is to focus more on the belly.
- Go to the gym.
- Eat less than the maintenance calories.
- Get some rest.
By doing that, he channels his mental powers on the things within his grasp.
Building Soft Skills
The cool thing about soft skills is that it’s dynamic.
It opens up a whole bunch of possibilities that were previously unnoticed.
That’s why a lot of ambitious people love to learn to code.
It’s because you can do so much with software.
Likewise, with soft skills, you can do so much.
Becoming a better speaker.
Becoming funny.
Noticing things that others didn’t pick up.
What is ambition really?
‘Uh…’
If you ask a person, what is a great quality when determining a human?
They will often say ambition.
Ambition is not physical.
It’s intangible.
There is a ceiling to physical attributes.
But there is no ceiling to intangible attributes.
A good-looking loser who provides minimal value to society…
Will be perceived as less attractive than a subpar-looking person who is in decent shape and provides immense value to society.
Truth About Fashion
‘Question bro, where does fashion fit into all of this?’
I used to have a very negative view of fashion.
I thought it was overrated.
Just wear whatever, that’s what being a guy is about!
However, in the 11th grade, I was introduced to Abercrombie and Fitch.
I thought the clothes were hideous.
I wanted something different.
Therefore, I chose the route of Ecko, South Pole, and Sean John.
Dressed like a hood star.
Others noticed my new wardrobe.
I was a shadow for a long time in school.
But once I had a fashion change, there were eyes looking my way.
This was my first encounter in seeing that fashion was not completely useless.
It served a purpose.
It wasn’t until Toastmasters that I learned fashion played a HUGE role in perception.
- Dress up for your speech and you feel more confident.
- Dress up for your speech and others view you as more confident.
A person with great physical features who is dressed like a bum will be perceived as LESS attractive than a person with average physical features who is dressed like a winner.
Fashion ties in beautifully with the variable that is within your control:
- Fitness.
For men, being fit allows for many clothes to look better.
Wear a regular t-shirt when you have big shoulders and V-Shaped lats, and the regular t-shirt looks like a designer piece.
That’s a miracle, perception-wise.
Final Thoughts on What to do if You’re Ugly
There are a lot of options for someone who views themselves as ugly:
- Improve soft skills.
- Optimize the part of your physicality within your control.
- Level up your fashion game.
Soon, these 3 steps begin to intertwine with each other.
The proper fashion game boosts your confidence to speak better.
The great physique amplifies the fashion game.
The strong speaking skills inspire you to go extra hard in the gym to optimize breath control.
Rather than focusing on the things beyond your control.
Focus wholeheartedly on the things within your control.
For more practical tips to improve your confidence, be sure to check out:
- Level Up Mentality: A Guide to Re-Engineer your Mindset for Confidence
In this book, you will learn more about:
- Building a self-image.
- Improving your focus.
- How to use all emotions to your advantage.
- Systems thinking principles.
- How to add discipline to your life.
Along with plenty of other topics.
