How to Talk Slower & Clearer When Nervous
The right knowledge can instantly alter our behaviors.
While the wrong knowledge will have us making the same mistakes for a long time.
Are you talking too fast?
Are you looking to learn how to talk slower?
Then this article is for you.
In this article, you’ll learn why taking too fast is bad.
‘How bad are we talking?’
It’s like throwing trash in a little kid’s lake.
The little kid gets water from this lake too!
‘Huh??’
Stick with me, it’ll soon make sense.
Let’s learn how to talk slower and clearer so you don’t give others a headache.
Or worse, give yourself a headache.
Talking too Fast is Like…
Imagine if you routinely walk past a lake on your way back from work.
Every day, once you are done drinking your Coke, you throw it in the lake.
After a few weeks of doing this, one day, you see a little kid getting water from the lake.
You wonder what he’s doing.
So, you ask him what he’s up to.
That’s when the kid says:
‘Geez mister, my family & I rely on this lake for water. I’m just gathering the water right now.’
Immediately, you are shocked.
Thus far, you have been treating this lake like your personal trash can.
And there are families who rely on it for water?
You’re ashamed.
The next time you’re about to throw the trash into the lake.
There is a SUBTLE resistance.
That resistance reminds you:
‘Hey, the little kid’s family uses this lake for water.’
Knowledge has instantly altered your behavior.
What Talking Fast Does to Others
‘Alright Armani, you’re talking about lakes & trash. I’m talking about talking fast. Where’s the connection?’
The connection is that you are giving others a headache.
‘Me?? No!’
Yes, you are.
When you talk too fast, you make the other person think more.
Thinking requires cognitive effort.
The keyword to notice from the line above is ‘effort.’
Humans are naturally lazy creatures.
Being ambitious is hard work.
The human brain loves the path of least resistance.
When the brain is being delivered too many words, it’s forced to work harder.
Your conversation partner has to think more around you, which leaves them drained.
‘Wait a minute! Are you saying I’ve been giving people a headache because I talk fast?’
Yes.
‘I feel so guilty.’
That guilt is good.
Just like you felt guilty throwing the trash in the lake.
Hopefully, the guilt of creating headaches in others will teach you how to talk slower.
Embrace the Silence
When you think of speaking, what do you think of?
‘Speaking.’
And?
‘Just speaking, nothing else.’
False.
Speaking includes speaking and silence.
Silence is often vilified by a fast talker.
Whether they are consciously aware or not, they feel guilty when there is silence.
They think the silence means they are not doing a good job.
Also, they feel if they are silent for too long, then the other person will lose interest in the conversation.
Being silent for too long is boring, sure.
However, an occasional burst of silence is perfectly normal.
Vilifying any form of silence causes a speaker to use more words.
Rather than vilifying silence, understand its role. Embrace it!
This will instantly make you a gentle-paced communicator.
‘How do I embrace the silence?
When you’re silent, smirk.
A smirk creates an empowering association with the dead noise.
You’ll feel better & communicate with:
- Words and silences.
Finding Your Pace to Learn How to Talk Slower
You ever had that moment when you were driving…
Suddenly, you assessed your surroundings.
You saw the type of road you were on & felt the speed that you were driving in.
Then there was a sensation in the body that indicated:
‘Yo, you’re driving too fast. Slow down.’
After the feeling, you saw the speed limit was 45 mph.
While you were driving 58 mph.
Then you slowed down.
Notice, you felt the FEELING first, then checked if you were driving too fast.
‘So?’
So, this is how it works for your speech pace too.
- Driving over the speed limit = talking fast
- Driving under the speed limiting = talking slow
- Following the speed limit = the right pace
If the speed limit is 50 mph, I doubt you’re driving at EXACTLY 50 mph the entire time.
Instead, it’s an estimate.
We try to fall within that range.
Our goal with speaking is to fall within the range that we consider to be the speed limit.
Speaking Exercise to Learn How to Talk Slower
Right now, the goal is to discover your 3 speeds.
First, try speaking very fast.
Fill up the silences with words.
If you’re naturally a fast talker, then this is probably your default state.
Record yourself as you speak.
‘What do I talk about?’
Talk about anything.
Record yourself for 30 seconds.
Once complete, speak the same sentences at a pace that you consider slow.
‘Can you give me the exact number of words to use?’
Nah, you need to discover the pace for yourself.
Speak at a pace that YOU consider slow.
Record it for 30 seconds.
Listen back to both tapes.
Done?
‘Yessir.’
Now that you have seen both spectrums, speak in a way that you consider as following the speed limit.
Say the same sentence & record it.
Spend some time listening back to these tapes.
Listening to the tapes helps you spot right from wrong.
The more you hear your voice, the more you’ll build an intuition for speaking at a normal pace.
Clear Communication Status
We talked about a lot of concepts in this article.
Let’s do a friendly recap on how to talk slower.
Speaking fast gives others a headache because it makes them think too much.
Slow down.
We slow down by embracing silences.
However, it’s difficult to embrace silences because it feels like we are messing up.
Rather than being silent with a pissed-off face.
Smirk!
Then, discover your gentle pace.
Create recordings of speaking fast, speaking slow & following the speed limit.
The more you hear yourself back on tape, the more you’ll develop a feel for speaking at a normal pace.
Others on the road will thank you.
Enjoyed this article?
Then get more practical tips, exercises, and strategies for clear communication in:
Speak Easy: How to Be Articulate, Assertive & Audacious Around People!
Currently, available in the following formats.
Ebook
Paperback/Kindle
Audiobook
– ArmaniTalks 
