Hate Talking on the Phone? Here’s Why…

Some people love talking on the phone while others hate it.

Sure, there are some folks who are like:

‘I can do it if I have to.’

But it comes down to which direction you point.

• Do you like it or hate it?

It’s a strange dynamic when one person loves it, and the other hates it, and they have a long interaction.

• Maybe they are business partners.
• Siblings.
• Partners etc.

It’s normal to hate talking on the phone.

However, there are some things we need to suck up and do anyways.

And talking on the phone vs texting all the time is one of them.

Why You Hate Talking on the Phone

One reason you hate talking on the phone is because of the era that you grew up in.

If you’re a 2000s baby, then most of the communications were done with text.

You don’t remember the times when you had to memorize your friend’s number to call them.

Yes…that was a thing.

I still remember my best friend Joel’s number like it was yesterday.

For 90s babies, texting wasn’t an option.

We’d have emails, but that was rare.

Talking on the phone was the usual.

If you’re growing up in an era where talking on the phone is not the norm, then that’s one reason you feel uncomfortable doing it.

Another reason you feel uncomfortable is because you don’t know what to say.

There are a lot of awkward silences, cutting each other off, and doubt in the voice.

Another reason you hate talking on the phone is because you think a text would have sufficed.

When I was the external vice president of Toastmasters, the president always wanted to talk on the phone.

It could even be something simple like:

‘Armani, can you bring the camera today?’

Requesting that I bring the camera could have been easily asked via text.

But instead, she’d call me and talk my ear off.

What should have been a 7-second call turned into a 30-minute one.

I’m rolling my eyes.

Why Talking on the Phone is Important

I think a lot of things can be done via text.

I think a lot of things SHOULD be done via text.

With that being said, talking on the phone is not archaic by any means.

I think it’s more powerful than Skype.

Because with Skype, we are seeing the person.

A lot of times, when there is a camera in front of us, we are seeing how we look vs listening to the content.

With the phone, it’s just the other person’s voice.

This is an INTIMATE way to get to know someone.

Partners who talk on the phone skyrocket rapport.

They explore conversations that they wouldn’t be able to via text.

Plus, on text, a lot of nuance gets lost.

Every now and then, when someone meets me in person vs text, they are like:

‘Whoa, you’re way different than I imagined.’

I ask, ‘how?’

And they say:

‘You just seem more upbeat in person.’

That is because text only captures a fragment of my personality.

If text only captures a fragment of my personality, then it only captures a fragment of my message.

How to Talk on the Phone More

I think talking on the phone more should have a purpose.

Why do you want to do it?

• Is it because you want to become a communications maestro who has mastered all mediums?
• Is it because you want to get to know someone better?
• Is it because you want to feel more confident?

Have a rough idea why.

Then set the intention to speak on the phone at least once a week.

• It could be you picking up a telemarketer’s call.
• Hitting up a friend.
• Having a talk with your mom.

Obviously, the interval can be higher than once a week.

But if you really hate talking on the phone, then start off light with once a week.

This allows you to get your toes in the water.

Initially, it’ll be awkward.

Don’t quit at the first sight of it being awkward.

Swim with the awkward waves.

Each time you overcome an awkward pause, weird question, not knowing what to say…

The more your phone fluency builds.

Soon, it becomes easier to keep a conversation going.

You’ll notice gaps of silence, and it’ll be easier to contribute something.

Words don’t always matter.

How you say it does.

Talking on the phone will improve your tonality.

Benefits of Talking on the Phone

I notice a lot of business deals get done on the phone.

It’s because you are directly connected with someone’s mind.

I can’t imagine closing a large business deal on email.

I know people can.

But if it’s important, I’ll just say:

‘Let’s get on a call really quick.’

Talking on the phone is also clutch when there is an emergency.

If there is a crisis that’s happening, and all the relevant teams are emailing each other, then it’d take years to solve the problem!!

When my older company had a P1 (priority 1) ticket, we’d get on a bridge.

A bunch of relevant teams would get on the call and give updates.

When we had that steady stream of communication, it was easier to reach a solution.

When our backs are against the wall, we want to talk on the phone.

You Don’t Need to Love it, Just Do It

I don’t love talking on the phone with everyone.

Every now and then, I do feel delighted when talking to someone.

For the most part, it’s a chore.

Just because it’s a chore doesn’t mean we need to do it with dread.

If we are rarely talking on the phone…the rare times we do it, let’s show some emotion!

Be enthusiastic.

Be engaged.

Then once you hang up, you can give yourself a pat on the back for working on this medium.

Despite it being 2024, a lot of deals get closed on the phone.

For more communication tips, subscribe to the Armanitalks Free Daily Newsletter

– ArmaniTalks