6 Signs You’re Making Someone Uncomfortable

The conversation is going smoothly.

Y’all are going back and forth.

They are asking you questions and you are asking questions as well.

Jokes are in the air!

Everything is going smoothly, until…

Everything stops.

Suddenly, the vibe is ruined.

You can’t quite spot the exact moment that this happened.

However, the body language doesn’t lie.

The other person is being short.

They are looking around a lot more.

And incessantly checking their watch.

Uh oh.

You have made the other person uncomfortable.

In this post, I’m going to share a few signs to look out for when you have ruined the vibe.

Sign #1: They Suddenly Stopped Talking

They suddenly stopped talking because the topic got too personal.

An example of a personal topic in Desi households is of marriage.

Whenever a girl who is 32, single, and she goes to a Dawat (desi party), she is pestered with questions of:

‘How come you’re still not married?’

She was very vocal in the beginning.

But after being asked that question multiple times by different people at the event, she stopped talking.

Before, she had big body language.

Now she’s trying to make herself hidden.

When someone goes from:

• Talkative to silent.

Chances are you made them uncomfortable.

Best to switch topics.

Sign #2: Not Silent but Slightly Talkative

The confusing version of point 1 is when they are not fully silent.

Instead, they are still responding back.

However, their responses are short and lack enthusiasm.

You’ll typically notice these types of responses in relationships.

Maybe your partner is being forced to talk to you for a practical reason.

Y’all were supposed to go to the same event together.

So, you’re asking them about the logistics.

Rather than giving you enthusiastic responses, they just respond back and that’s it.

After the logistics have been taken care of, you try to create convo with them.

Still, they are giving short responses.

They aren’t asking you any questions back.

This is confusing because they aren’t being silent with you.

They are still talking.

However, their responses seem lifeless!

Sign #3: Out of Norm Body Language

Another sign that you’re making someone uncomfortable is when they are checking their watch a lot when you’re addressing a certain topic.

Looking at the watch is a sign of:

‘Wrap up this topic, otherwise, I need to get going.’

The watch-looking is one of the many uncomfortable body language moves out there.

Other ones include:

• A sigh.
• Rolling the eyes.
• A dramatic yawn.
• Moving the body away from the conversation partner.

These signs indicate that something is up.

You’ll notice that these moves happen abruptly too.

You need to spot the difference between:

They are checking their watch because they are curious about the time.

Vs

They are checking their watch because this topic is irking them.

Sign #4: Suddenly Becomes Nitpicky

Imagine that you are giving unwanted advice to someone.

You tell them:

‘You should show more energy when you are outdoors. It doesn’t hurt to smile.’

They absorb your feedback.

But they mainly absorb it so they can insult you back.

‘Maybe you smile too much? I mean it is a little creepy you know?’

Now the aura is messed up.

A big part of growing up is to avoid giving too much unwanted advice.

The fact that they got defensive is showing that you made them uncomfortable.

Sign #5: Abruptly Creating Excuses

Another time you’ll notice uncomfortable energy is when they abruptly begin creating excuses for plans that they were excited about.

Imagine that you were planning a group cruise with a bunch of friends.

One of your buddies, Samantha, is super excited to go.

Leading up to the event, you invite another girl named Puja.

Suddenly, Samantha is filled with excuses.

She went from:

• Excited to go to the event to looking for any excuse not to go.

The average person would think:

‘I guess she really doesn’t want to go.’

While the socially aware person would wonder:

‘Hmm does Samantha and Puja have problems?’

A lot of times, we will accidentally make someone uncomfortable because we invited the wrong person to the event.

Sign #6: They Will Tell You

Often, they will straight up tell you:

‘I don’t like talking about this topic.’

If you keep pursuing the topic anyway, they will say:

‘You’re making me really uncomfortable right now.’

I was watching one of these blind dates shows on TV a while back.

A guy and a girl were on a date, and everything was going well.

Eventually, the guy got really cocky, and he thought he was untouchable.

He went into the bathroom to tell his friend how well the date was going.

The friend challenged him to ask his date how many men she slept with.

Feeling cocky, the guy agreed.

So, he sat back down, they sipped on their drinks.

The cocky guy then asked his date:

‘How many men have you had sex with?’

She was appalled.

The entire vibe was ruined.

She responded:

‘I can’t believe you would ask me a question like that. I’m so disappointed in you.’

Instead of sounding irate, she genuinely sounded sad.

She was blindsided by his inquiry.

A lot of people will straight up tell you when you went too far.

Surprisingly, you may still overlook this!

You’ll think:

‘They are just being dramatic. It wasn’t that big of a deal.’

Know When to Fall Back

In the real world, it’s good to know when to fall back.

When we notice:

• Abrupt changes in body language.
• From talkative to silent.
• From talkative to spotty responses.
• Or a statement that you are making themuncomfortable.

Fall back.

This is tough because we notice a topic that gets a reaction out of them.

We may want to know more.

‘Why is this topic bothering them so much? Let’s see!’

No, you don’t have to see.

Fall back and smoothly transition to another topic.

For more tips on social skills, be sure to check out my book, the Charisma King

– ArmaniTalks