How to Carry a Conversation
Carrying a conversation is difficult to do.
But if you can do it, then you have a skill set that can be applied to multiple parts of life.
What is a podcast really?
It’s just an audio file of a person or multiple people talking.
Every now and then, there is a host who invites a guest to his show.
The host then proceeds to carry the conversation.
If the host is lucky, then he has an engaged guest who is talkative.
Talkative people make the host’s job easy.
But every now and then, we have the zombie.
This is a guest who is forced to show up to the show because his manager made him.
Rather than put in any effort to participate in the conversation, he makes the host do all the work.
The host asks questions.
The rude guest gives 1-word responses.
This makes the host’s job much harder.
Let’s break down what it means to carry the conversation.
What Does it Mean to Carry the Conversation?
Carrying the conversation is when one person is choosing the direction of the talk.
This is hard to spot by the way.
Because the direction is invisible.
The content, we can hear.
But the direction is something that requires fine eyes.
Better yet, fine ears.
There’s this podcast called Impaulsive that started off with a bang a few years ago.
For the longest time, Logan Paul was the villain of YouTube.
However, even his haters gave him props for the Impaulsive Podcast.
Logan and his team would discuss topics from culture.
The camaraderie, great production, and humor made the show compelling.
Later, Logan’s star power grew.
He had other responsibilities and became disengaged with the Impaulsive podcast.
Today, he and his cohost slap a few episodes together.
It’s easy to tell that Logan just shows up.
How is the podcast still running?
Because of his co-host, Mike.
If you look closely, Mike is carrying the conversation.
It’s not like Logan sits there like a dummy, but Mike is the one who:
- Notices awkward silences with a guest and immediately jumps in to fill in conversation material.
- Thinks of different questions to ask.
- Thinks of where the direction of the episode will go.
For a long time, Mike didn’t get respect.
As of late, if you read the comments on the Impaulsive podcast, it’s flooded with:
‘Good job Mike for carrying another Impaulsive episode.’
Slowly, the person carrying the conversation is being given his roses.
Why Carrying a Conversation is a Needed Skillset
The 2 steps to carry a conversation are to:
- Know a lot.
- Contribute when you sense dead air.
I’ll break down these 2 steps shortly.
Before I do, let me preface with something:
- Ideally, it’s best to talk to someone who WANTS to talk to you.
When all members are engaged in a conversation, it doesn’t ever feel like anyone has to “carry” a conversation.
However, at times, we may find ourselves talking to:
- A shy person.
- A disinterested guest.
- Someone who puts in the effort but is sooooo boring.
In scenarios like this, we need to be able to carry the conversation.
With that being said, let’s break down the 2 steps of carrying a conversation.
1. Know A Lot
When you know a lot, it’s easier to adapt on the fly.
I know many people in the self-improvement space who struggle with knowing a lot.
They know a lot about self-improvement, but beyond that, they fall flat.
They say stuff like:
‘Why should I know anything about pop culture? People interested in that are low lives.’
Well, guess what bud?
Every now and then, you have to talk to “low lives”.
Therefore, it’s smart to know a lot about a lot of things.
I try to consume anything that I am somewhat curious about.
There have been plenty of times I thought:
‘This info will never help me.’
But one day, this random info allowed me to relate with someone.
When you know a lot, you have the confidence to carry the conversation.
2. Contribute When you Sense Dead Air
A while back, I went to this recruitment event where a lady was talking to a group of 20 potential hires.
The lady was waiting for her boss to show up.
The boss was going to give a presentation that would convince the 20 students to join the company.
Since the boss was running late, the lady was leading the room.
- She’d tell stories about herself.
- She’d tell stories about her time in the company.
- Every now and then, she’d ask one of the 20 students to share something about themselves.
When she’d ask:
‘Any volunteers?’
Initially, a few students raised their hands.
After the 3rd student went up, no more hands were being raised.
Rather than standing there in silence, the lady automatically began talking again.
I noticed what this lady was doing.
She could sense dead air so well.
When there were voices chirping, she wouldn’t say anything.
But when there was a millisecond too long of a silence, she activated talking mode.
That’s what we need to do when carrying a conversation.
Sometimes, we’ll ask a question, and the recipient is filled with words.
Other times, we’ll ask a question, and the other person gives a few words and that’s it.
During those moments, we’ll sense dead air.
We can either:
- Stay silent.
- Pout and talk in a halfhearted way because we didn’t get the response we wanted.
- Be like that lady and activate talking mode with full enthusiasm.
Bullets 1 and 2 will not allow you to carry the conversation.
Bullet 3 will allow you to carry the conversation.
When you sense dead air, say something.
Anything.
It can be a follow-up question, joke, story, etc.
If you’re talking to a close friend, then being silent with them is fine.
But if you’re trying to carry a conversation for a podcast, recruitment event, date, etc.
Know when to spot dead air and contribute.
For more social skills tips, be sure to check out the Charisma King eBook
– ArmaniTalks 
