Cocky vs Confident: What’s the Difference?

Cocky vs Confident: What’s the Difference?


It’s easy to get carried away.

Especially when the act of getting carried away is confused as swag.


The 2 words: cocky and confident…

Do they resemble one another?

Do they seem like the same meaning?


If so, then it’s time for a wake up call.


This is one of those situations where the words are highly different in terms of one another.

Sort of like quiet & shy.


Sure, for quite and shy, both look the same, externally…

But internally, the 2 people are different.


Quiet people don’t say much because they don’t have much to say.

On the other hand, shy people don’t say much because they are self conscious.


Night and day difference when focusing on the internal state.


Likewise, this is the same case for cocky vs confident.

It’s the confidence that eventually wins.

And it’s the confidence that shines the brightest.


Best Describing Cocky


Cockiness is born thru fear.

‘What? I know a cocky person & he seems FAR from fearful.’

On the surface level.


  • Orange juice is a drink.
  • Orange is the fruit.

Which one is the source?


‘The orange is the source. It leads to the orange juice.’

That’s true.

You spotted the correct fundamental.


When comparing someone on the surface level to the fundamental level, things look different.

No way can a person who is brash, overly talkative & arrogant be nervous?


Yes, they can.


On a fundamental level, there is a level of fear that they are operating with.

This causes a larger desire for attention.

More validation is needed.


Why Fear Leads to Cockiness


At the surface level, it’s easy to see a whole lot of things.

You may see an attire, jokes, names etc.


At the core level, social skills comes down to an abundance or scarcity mindset.

-Abundance is when the opportunities are endless.

Scarcity mindset is when the opportunities are limited.


The cocky individual works with a scarce mentality.

This person may be hyper competitive & takes another person’s win as their own loss.


It’s sad though.

Because this character creates more tension in social interactions.

I like to call them the clog.


The person who can turn a dialogue into a monologue real quick.

And no one likes that.




Confidence is born thru an abundance mindset.

An abundance mindset is always earned.


The act of abundance seems like a very glittery word.

While it’s not meant to be…

It’s meant to be a practical word.


This state is normally built thru a lot of reps, focus & compassion.

The last trait is key.


Confident people lead with compassion.

And once again..

Compassion seems like a very glittery word.

However, it’s meant to be practical.


Compassion in terms of analogies goes like this…

A computer turning from a computational device to a communication device.


The computer works great by itself.

But when it enters the internet?

It’s just one of MANY computers.


And when entering the internet, all the other computers acknowledge their own individual identity…

While remaining perfectly cognizant of the bigger identity.

That’s the internet.


In this situation, the enhanced perception of the internet represents compassion.

Just a rough analogy..


Cocky vs Confident: The Splitting of Ways


‘So Armani, you were mentioning how shy & quiet are different.’

That, I was.

‘For both those, the end products are still a lack of words. Do cocky & confident people share any similar traits?’


It can be opportunities.


-I used the word ‘can be’ for a reason.


Because a brash cocky individual can easily create opportunities for themselves.

That’s the beauty of speaking up.


However, it’s important to not just view that surface level opportunity.

Let’s see the tiered effects.


What happens overtime?

Did the cocky person still remain in good graces?

Or is there a line of bodies & burned bridges?


A confident person too can create opportunities.

However, these opportunities last.


A cocky person plays a zero sum game.

And the confident person plays the game of synergy.


Where the other person needs to win, otherwise, the confident person does not enjoy their own win…


Being Less Needy with Confidence


Confidence is not about getting others to like you.

It’s more so about not caring if others like you, because you like yourself.

And ironically, this gets others to like you.


There’s always a fine line from what I noticed.


Not caring at all about what others think can lead to boorish behavior.

And a lot of political, societal & relationship issues.


So this requires some finetuning.

1 opinion sticks out over the others.


In this case, I show you a dollar & 50 pennies.

And I ask you which is the most valuable?

Immediately, the dollar is pointed to.


It’s not like we negate the pennies.

We just put one focus above the other.


That’s the way with opinions.

Sometimes, pennies are needed.

Sometimes, opinions give great feedback.


But the confident person doesn’t allow a sea of pennies to make it lose value of the dollar.


Confidence is Grace & Cockiness is Not


To build confidence to the core, it always needs to be tied to 2 things:

-Self improvement.

-A grander vision.

Confidence without one of those variables often leads to a cocky person.




Because improvement serves as a staple.

Improving builds a line of micro skills such as self discipline, a philosophy, cooperation mindset etc.


It teaches you, as the computer, to be the internet.

Rather than the lone computer.


The grander vision is something that is personal & is earned thru iterations.

It’s the driving WHY for the self improvement.

And this WHY changes with you.


Without those 2 variables, the mind doesn’t have a FORCE.

It starts to become needy.


A nice guy and a cocky guy are very similar in terms of moving with a scarcity mindset at the core level.

Never abundance.


People come and go…


  • When you have a scarcity mindset with people, you get tension.
  • When you have a scarcity mindset with opportunities, you get competition.
  • And when you have a scarcity mindset with people & opportunities, you get a brash arrogant individual who lacks substance.


Cocky vs confident..

The 2 are not the same.

Nor will they ever be.


For more practical communication insights, subscribe to my free daily newsletter.


– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥



Share This On:


Level up your communication skills with a new email everyday at 7pm EST


Armani Talks: Level Up Mentality : A Guide to Re-engineer your Mindset for Confidence - Book By Armani Talks


Follow Me on Twitter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


Join the
ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥

Stay updated with all latest tips , tricks & strategies to build communcications skills.



Get the Free eBook by signing up below.​
You can unsubscribe anytime
Build communication skills with daily tips
Join 10K subscribers


Level up your communication skills with a new email everyday at 7pm EST