Why Authenticity is Harder Than It Looks
The following chapter is from Limit Breaker: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills
In 2013, there was this radio personality named Charlamagne tha God who was blowing up in the hip hop space.
He was a radio personality for the show, The Breakfast Club.
There was a targeted audience who resonated with him because he asked tough questions to musicians & often made inappropriate comments.
One of his most famous moments was making the rapper Lil Mama cry on air.
I noticed that people dubbed Charlamagne as ‘authentic.’
If you were to ask me, he just seemed like an asshole.
However, his numbers did not lie.
He was a big factor in making The Breakfast Club one of the most popular radio shows.
As 7 years passed, Charlamagne seems like a different guy.
He seems like he matured a bit.
In one of his recent interviews, he was trying to give some advice to an upcoming artist who was spreading a bunch of negative energy.
And that younger artist scoffed at him & was like:
‘Man, I know you aren’t talking. You are the king of negative energy!’
Charlamagne looked pretty taken aback and asked:
‘What, people can’t grow?’
Charlamagne had a point.
However, his negative energy was coming back to haunt him.
Question is, which Charlamagne was the real one?
The one back then or the one now?
Better question is, what is authenticity?
It’s difficult to be authentic due to 2 important variables:
- Life is constantly throwing us different experiences requiring a different version of ourselves.
- Authenticity requires reflection.
The first point can be seen in our present moment.
An example is when you have to wear different hats in a social interaction.
Like when you are talking to a shy kid vs a talkative kid.
If you are capable of adjusting, each person will see a different version of you.
The shy kid will see the talkative side of you.
The talkative kid will see the listening side of you.
You’re the same person.
Yet, your behavior changed.
Another reason authenticity is difficult is because it requires reflection. Reflection also requires 2 important variables:
-The ability to control thinking.
-Humility.
Some people can’t focus for more than 10 seconds. So, reflecting becomes tougher.
That’s where a journal can help. It forcefully slows down your thoughts.
Cool, a journal can help slow down your thoughts.
But what about the humility part?
Well, that’s something we are on our own with.
No assistance.
I’ve known 2 brothers for over 10 years.
The younger brother seems light years ahead of the older brother in terms of maturity.
The older brother seems like a bigger jackass year by year.
The dude is aging.
However, he isn’t growing up.
Why?
It’s because humility can’t be bought. It’s a game of going in & learning the difference between cocky & confident on a FIRSTHAND basis.
Overall, authenticity is a game of refining.
It’s a game of doing our best to realize who we truly are.
Since starting ArmaniTalks, I’ve talked about social skills, public speaking & human dynamics from MANY different angles.
Each time, I came to realize that communication with the outside world is mainly based on communication with the inside world.
The 5 levels of communication are:
- Communication with self = Self awareness
- Communication with 1 person = Dialogue
- Many-to-Many communication = Group Interaction
- One-to-many communication = Public Speaking
- Communication + Technology = Media
1 is the most important.
1 influences 2 – 5.
However, most of us view it as the exact opposite.
We focus on 2-5 hoping to figure out 1.
This method can work, sure.
But it will be suboptimal at best.
The world of communication…
The game of the outside world…..
Has a strange way of consistently directing us to the inside world.
Great communicators with depth focus predominantly on building their self-awareness.
By asking what stage they currently reside in and how can humility be assessed?
Authenticity has many layers.
For others to know the real version of you, you have to put in the leg work & find out the real version…for yourself.
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