The Psychology of Wishing Someone a Happy Birthday
I’m probably the worst person to write this post.
I don’t care if someone wishes me happy birthday.
Also, I routinely forget to wish others happy birthday.
If it wasn’t for Facebook, I’d forget about birthdays altogether.
Despite not personally viewing birthdays as a big deal, birthdays are a big deal.
Just like the name is the most important sound to a human, birthdays are the most important day to a human.
If you’re someone who is looking to score a few more likeability points, then it’s important to remember others’ birthdays and wish them.
Why Birthdays Are Meaningful
The reason birthdays are meaningful shifts from childhood to adulthood.
In childhood, birthdays are just a moment to celebrate.
A little kid is not exercising much thought into the future.
They just think:
‘Is my birthday party going to have regular cake or ice cream cake?’
However, as an adult, we begin to view birthdays in a different light.
Many adults view birthdays as a chance to assess who they are.
For my 24th birthday, I was living in Virginia.
At that point in my life, I was a person who was very judgmental and would lose my temper quickly.
Normally, I never wondered about my temper.
However, with this birthday, I saw it as a chance to assess who I was.
My birthday is in November.
I would be moving back from Virginia to Florida in January.
That birthday, I assessed that I was going to do my best to change as a person.
When I moved back to Florida, my former peers would see a new Armani.
Adults use birthdays to evaluate their identity.
That’s why birthdays are an important day for many.
The Psychology of Wishing Someone
Wishing someone shows thoughtfulness.
It showed that you were thinking of them on their big day.
On my Facebook, I see that people I haven’t talked to in a while write on my wall saying:
‘Happy birthday!!!’
Whoa, you gave all the exclamation points to?
Thanks bro.
I really mean it.
This is a guy I haven’t talked to in years.
But the fact that he added exclamation points made me feel really good.
These nuances matter.
Because in the same Facebook wall, I’ll also see:
‘Happy birthday.’
Or worse:
‘Hbd.’
If someone is going to write it like that, then I prefer they don’t write anything at all!
These are the micro emotions I subconsciously feel when I check my wall.
This is coming from someone who doesn’t care to be wished.
Imagine the details that someone notices when they do care to be wished.
How to Wish Someone a Happy Birthday
This answer will vary.
If it’s someone that you’re not too cool with, a simple:
- ‘Happy birthday *name*!!’
Goes a long way.
The name personalizes the message.
The exclamation points show enthusiasm.
Avoid trying to get too cool and write a ‘happy bday.’.
Being too cool is not a good thing.
Writing ‘happy bday’ is the same as just responding back with a ‘k’ when someone wrote something deep.
If you’re cool with the person, then a thoughtful message goes a long way.
- ‘Yoo happy birthday bro! It was a pleasure meeting you this year. Wishing you the best for this upcoming year! I know you’re going to crush it!’
This message is thoughtful and shows even more personalization.
It feels good when someone wakes up to a message like that.
And if you’re REALLY cool with the person, then calling is king.
Calling them and enthusiastically wishing them happy birthday shows that you care.
The other person will remember this.
‘And what if they don’t remember?’
Great question
Why Someone Didn’t Wish You
When we wished someone happy birthday and they didn’t wish us on our big day, then we may feel a certain type of way.
Heck, we may give them the silent treatment until they ask us what’s wrong.
This is not the smart thing to do.
Just because most people feel very good for their birthday does not automatically mean they feel really good for your birthday.
This may seem mean, but it’s true.
For me, November 27th hits differently.
That’s my birthday.
But for most folks out there, it’s just another day.
Or it’s a day that sometimes falls on Thanksgiving.
That’s right, sometimes my birthday falls on Thanksgiving.
Hold the cake and bring on the turkey! ((more protein).
It’s not personal when someone forgot to wish you.
Most people are not sentimental about birthdays.
They don’t know the psychology behind wishing someone.
If you’ve been holding a vendetta against a close friend for forgetting to wish you…
Let the vendetta go bud.
It’s not that big of a deal.
Giving Gifts
Giving a gift on a birthday is what I call a haymaker.
Especially when the gift completely aligns with their desires.
A long time ago, I was sitting with my roommate in my apartment.
It was 12:05 am and he was watching an Orlando Magic game.
I was furious.
I wanted to watch a show, but the game kept going to overtime.
Also, at 12 am, I just turned 27.
Not a single wish from this goober.
I was just waiting for him to leave.
This guy was a diehard Magic fan.
At 12:25 am, his precious Magic lost.
He sat there defeated.
I lowkey felt good.
I was about to knock out because I missed my show.
As I was about to leave, he said:
‘Hold on bro, I got you a gift. Don’t think I forgot.’
Strange, he never got me a gift and I never got him one.
He came downstairs with Kobe Bryant’s book.
I was talking about getting that.
And he got me a copy in perfect condition.
I still remember that gift.
Even though I don’t care too much for birthdays, I remember certain moments.
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