An Underrated Way to Improve Observation Skills
There was one time I went to a hookah bar and met up with 8 friends.
One of the friends was a girl named Neeti.
Once I sat down, I began smoking the hookah.
Everything seemed to be going well.
- I scratched my nose.
- Then I began to tell a joke.
Soon as I executed those 2 steps, I heard a chorus of laughter.
Neeti says:
‘See? I told you! Armani always scratches his nose right before he is about to tell a joke.’
I saw a bunch of laughing faces.
All the laughter was directed at me.
I felt exposed.
Who was Neeti to notice something like this?
And who was she to tell others about this quirk of mine?
I was mad.
But I couldn’t be mad for long.
Because Neeti presented me with a social skills and storytelling lesson.
The Power of Sharp Observation
From the social skills lens, too much observation isn’t a good thing.
When people feel like you are watching them, they feel nitpicked.
Sort of like how I felt when Neeti exposed my quirk.
Not saying we should kill off observation skills in social interactions.
But if we are going to observe someone, it’s best to do it in silence.
Articulating your observations is not always great for social skills.
But articulating your observations is great for storytelling skills.
Because what exactly is a story?
- A story is an interconnection of ideas.
How do you connect ideas?
- By noticing things!
The difference between an average storyteller and a great storyteller is the difference in their observation prowess.
Follow the Pain
Do you know what annoys me a lot?
A lot of things.
One thing that pisses me off is slow walkers.
I get it though.
People walk for different reasons.
Some do it for utility.
They need to get from point A to point B.
Others walk for therapy.
Jacob is having a long day at work.
He messages his coworker to go for a walk.
This walk is not for utility alone.
It’s to decompress.
Jacob and his buddy walk slowly and unwind.
Go on Jacob & friend.
Walk slowly.
But don’t walk slowly in front of me!
Because when I walk, I walk fast.
When I find myself behind these slow walkers, I think:
‘When driving, the lanes are divided. Fast drivers are in the right lane, medium-paced drivers are in the middle lane, and slow drivers drive in the right lane. Why don’t we have the same concept for walkways? We should!’
I am finding an annoyance.
- Slow walkers.
Then I simply entertain what-if scenarios.
- Place slow walkers on the right lane of walkways.
‘Wait a minute, Armani. Are you telling me pet peeves can lead to storytelling material?’
Yessir.
The most underrated way to improve observation skills is by spotting your pet peeves.
Pet Peeves
What are some of your pet peeves?
List them out.
Here are a few of mine:
- Slow walkers
- Traffic
- Poor listeners
- Slow service at fast food restaurants
- Aggressive salesmen
- Excessively cold weather for an extended period of time
Simply listing out pet peeves exercises observation skills.
Because most folks get annoyed & then move on to the next annoyance.
They are completely unaware of what annoys them or why it’s annoying them.
Articulating your pet peeves allows you to bring your shadow side to light.
Once you spot a pet peeve, ask some ‘what if’ questions.
- What if we X so I’d be less annoyed?
If you don’t have any what-if questions, allow your mind to wander freely on the pet peeve.
Example of Wandering on a Pet Peeve
One of my pet peeves is slow service at fast-food restaurants.
I let my mind wander on this pet peeve…
My mind drifts off to the times I was a fast-food worker.
Ah, the good ole’ Subway & Dunkin Donuts days.
How come my stores were so fast?
I remember!
The answer is not pretty, so brace yourself.
My fast food stores were fast because the managers were often middle-aged Desi men.
These folks just moved to the US and their entire lives were fast food.
They needed to make money so they could provide for their family in the US and send money to their relatives overseas.
These managers were aggressive toward their employees.
Even if an employee was having a bad day, they were never allowed to talk back to the customer.
These employees were monitored for speed & efficiency.
Little (if any) breaks were given.
All my managers were tyrants.
The stores functioned like clockwork.
The customers left satisfied.
Since fast food is easily susceptible to disorder, should the managers be tyrants?
In the future, when a store owner is looking for a manager for his store, should he ask:
‘Do you have some tyrant in you? If not, then I don’t want you.’
I have made an association with tyranny & maintaining order in the fast food environment.
Through this wandering session, my observation skills are sharpening.
I’m inviting the element of play which allows my mind to be flexible.
A flexible mind can notice things that others are blind to.
Turn Annoyance into Insights
I know I’ll never run out of content because I’m always getting annoyed by things.
I hate getting annoyed when it’s happening.
But as days pass, I’m grateful.
I’m not grateful for a hokey pokey reason.
It’s for a practical reason.
- Healed annoyance leads to storytelling material.
- Storytelling material leads to useful value for the ArmaniTalks audience.
- Useful value generated for the ArmaniTalks audience leads to cash flow for Armani’s pocket.
I’m a practical fellow, my friend!
And you should be as well.
Sharpen your observation skills by embracing annoying moments.
Plenty of folks try to bury annoyances by shouting affirmations.
Forget that.
Allow yourself to feel agitated, sad, and repulsed.
Then allow your mind to wander.
For more storytelling insights, be sure to check out the Art and Science of Storytelling.
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