Improve your Nonverbal Communication
Have you ever talked to someone who seemed like a great fellow, but something felt off?
You couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
But someone about the ‘vibe’ didn’t sit well with your stomach.
This is one of those cases where the right words were being said, but their body language seemed off.
You noticed the person was avoiding eye contact with you, had a weak voice & tucked away his palms.
Something about the person seemed a tad bit shady.
I bet it does.
And if it doesn’t sound familiar, keep reading the article.
Something may resonate with you.
It’s time to teach you how to improve your nonverbal communication.
The Importance of Improving your Nonverbal Communication
In a world where we are taught to be very logical, the idea of words not being the MAIN factor of communication seems like blasphemy.
‘What do you mean my words alone do not influence my likability??’ the logical person wonders.
But it is true.
Your words play a minuscule role in the world of communication.
What’s funny is that most people focus on the words the MOST.
They focus so much on what words they should say, that they commit a social dynamics sin:
But I want you to really imagine this for a second.
Picture the prehistoric era.
Difficult, I know.
But use your creativity.
Were there any words back then?
Did people know how to speak English, Spanish, Bangla etc?
So how did they communicate?
They communicated with their body!
The reason nonverbal communication is SO important is because it is ingrained within us.
We never had to be taught nonverbal communication.
But verbal communication was taught. It was something that was learned over time.
If you picture a baby who is hungry, what do you see them do?
Are they clearly articulating their hunger?
They just begin crying & hope that you figure it out.
The shriek of crying is them using their tonality to communicate with you.
Nonverbal communication is something that is in our core.
Therefore, you don’t learn nonverbal communication, you simply rediscover it.
How Body Language Ties into Your Mindset
Here is a life law for you:
The mind controls the body & the body controls the mind.
It really is that simple.
But often, we find our-self only focusing on the prior & neglecting the latter.
In reality, your body language will play a crucial role in the thoughts that you think.
And the thoughts that you think will play a crucial role in the actions that you take.
Therefore, a closed unconfident body language will lead to unconfident thoughts full of self-doubt.
But flip that.
Open up your body.
You’ll notice your thoughts AUTOMATICALLY change.
Now imagine if you can do that permanently.
I’m here to tell you that you can!
Elements of Nonverbal Communication
Your body has a ton of pieces.
But the 2 groups are: stagnant & dynamic.
If you can focus on the fundamentals of the stagnant & dynamic features, then you will re-engineer your body language for the best.
You will improve your nonverbal communication in the process.
Let’s go thru both groups.
Stagnant are the elements of your body that remain fixed. You’re not changing it in the presentation or interaction.
The 2 stagnant pieces are:
The back MUST be straight. No if’s, ands or buts about it.
Do NOT slouch.
Slouching is a sign of a person who is not a go-getter.
If you struggle with slouching, then put a hardcover textbook over your head & walk.
When you are able to do it without the book slipping off, then your posture will be fixed.
The back also influences the chest. A broad chest that sticks out indicates power.
Your chin is your remote control to stay present.
Don’t believe me?
The next time that you are lost in your thoughts, pick up your chin.
You will automatically feel more present in the process.
A raised chin is also a power move & makes you look like a winner.
The dynamic pieces are:
1. Eye contact
1. Eye contact
Your eye contact is a skill.
If you are someone who struggles with eye contact, just understand that the muscle is weak.
So what do you do?
You exercise it by FORCING yourself to fight thru the discomfort & maintain eye contact anyways.
Eye contact is a staple of confidence.
Therefore, you need to build it.
The reason that this is a dynamic feature is because the more that you build your eye contact skills, the more that you are going to be able to read other people’s eyes.
You’ll soon see eye contact has nuances to it.
There are some people who need longer eye contact, some who need more breaks & some who need gentle gazes.
Therefore, don’t have the same eye contact with everyone.
Your voice serves as your personal brand.
If you are a good looking person with a shrieking or monotone voice, no one will want to get near you.
I want you to begin viewing the voice as a musical instrument.
You don’t see a musician only strum 1 string on a guitar, do you?
You see them strumming a bunch of strings to create a beautiful song.
Do the same for your voice.
Luckily, a musical voice is a skill set. Therefore, it can be learned, practiced & mastered.
Record yourself or start a podcast & begin seeing the strengths & weaknesses of your voice.
Keep modifying it until you are proud of it.
Your palms wield power.
It is a direct gateway to your internal world.
A person who tucks away their palms or keeps using it to touch their skin displays a low social status.
The person who has visible palms that are open to the world indicate high social status.
The more you control your palms, the more that you are going to realize that it speaks a hidden language.
I didn’t live in the prehistoric era, but my gut tells me that the palms were a big factor in communication.
Which is why to this day, leaders to this day wield their palms like a weapon.
Do the same.
I would expect this to be obvious, but unfortunately, it isn’t.
But please do not drag your feet.
By far, the easiest way to repulse someone who viewed you as a winner is by getting up & being a slow walker.
A person who drags their feet is a loser.
Plain & simple.
They subconsciously do not value their time & most likely do not have significant goals that need to be tackled.
But a winner walks like they are about to pick up a billion-dollar check.
There are levels to this.
Make sure you don’t fall into the bum status level.
Don’t treat this step lightly. Your walk pace will allow you to significantly improve your nonverbal communication.
Where to Go From Here?
Body language is something that you can fix with awareness & action.
Make yourself aware of which variable/s on the body that you lack & then take effective measures in fixing it.
No need to over complicate the process.
But to take it one level further, I think it will be beneficial to learn the art of reading the body.
Get to a stage where you are fluent in body language.
If you are looking for a book that covers body language, then I recommend:
Great book by a former FBI agent who shares exclusive insights & helps you build a deeper perspective.
A combination of reading this book, being aware & taking action will help you conquer your body.
And once you do that, you will be on the path to conquering your mind.
Call that a 2 in 1.
The beauty about improving your nonverbal communication is that now it will be easier to read other peoples body language.
You’ll be much more aware of your surroundings.
Many people are passive nowadays.
So they won’t directly tell you how they feel.
But their body will tell for sure.
You will be able to read when someone is lying, upset with you or is being shady.
It feels like you are entering a brand new world.
A world where you will feel like a nonverbal wizard.
Now begin this journey & become fluent in the body!
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