How To Develop Better Common Sense

Common sense.

The information that people should know, but don’t know.

Common sense and manners go hand in hand.

If you have manners, then you will have common sense.

For example, If I ask you why you are so quiet, and I am aware that you are shy…

Do you think that’s a smart question to ask?

Not really…

Because you are in a weird position of justifying your flaw to me.

You’ll just end up quieter after explaining your shyness out loud.

If I had basic manners, I would have avoided asking a question like that.

I would’ve shown more common sense that way.

Common sense and manners go hand in hand.

How do we get better at both?

The Age-Old Platitude

One of the age-old platitudes is:

• Treat people how you want to be treated.

At first, this quote seems like an elegant way to show empathy.

Yes, that’s true.

But another purpose of this quote is to teach you how to develop common sense!

The reason people lack common sense is because they are too ego-driven.

When we get them out of their ego, common sense is a byproduct.

We need to get them to treat others how they want to be treated.

Example

Imagine a guy who is in a relationship that always likes pictures of random Instagram models.

He posts Instagram stories of these models with heart-eyed emojis.

His girlfriend is angry at him.

She wonders:

‘Why is he liking all these random girls’ photos for while he’s in a relationship?’

She thinks it should be common sense not to do that.

When she brings it up to him, he waves off her concern.

As time passes, one day, Justin Bieber is set to come to town.

The girlfriend is a diehard Justin Bieber fan.

She begins making stories about Justin Bieber with heart-eyed emojis.

Now the boyfriend becomes jealous.

‘Why is she so obsessed with another man when she’s in a relationship?’

When he is presented with this situation, he makes the realization that his social media behavior was not appropriate.

The main takeaway is:

• When you’re in a relationship, don’t lust about others publicly.

It’s one thing to do it privately.

But when you’re making social media content out of your lust, it makes your partner look bad.

The boyfriend was able to make this common sense realization after he pushed himself to the side.

He now understands why it’s important to treat others how he wants to be treated.

Helping Someone Develop Common Sense

Isn’t it bizarre how some people are so smart in their career and school, but are so slow with the basics?

You’re surprised by how this person has survived in the real world at all.

It’s easy to lose your patience with people like this.

It’s so annoying to explain something that you thought was basic knowledge.

In situations like this, it’s best not to explain at all.

Instead, let them reach their own conclusions.

A lot of the times, you want to help them out so they will not have to exercise their mind.

• Don’t.

Just fall back and let them reach their own conclusions.

Let them learn from their own failures.

Other times, give them thought experiments.

When you see a clear flaw with their thinking, help them reach their own conclusions by asking them strategic questions.

When you tell them what the common sense response should be, then you are only enabling their slowness.

Allow them to solve their own problems.

The more you allow them to solve problems, the more refined their common sense will become.

Common Sense is Subjective

The elephant in the room is that common sense is subjective.

For one group, they view life one way, while another group views life a different way.

An example is owning a gun at home.

The guy will say:

‘Duh, I need a gun to protect my family. What if a robber breaks in and the police are taking forever to get to my place?’

The girl will say:

‘Duh, having a gun in the house is moronic. What if my son finds it?’

Both people are approaching this from different angles.

If you assume that only your common sense is right, then your judgment will suffer.

A lot of the times, we are quick to pull the trigger into thinking that our common sense is the only right one.

That’s not smart.

When the fundamental views are radically different, then we need to talk it out to see if we can reach a middle ground.

Otherwise, our view of what common sense is will always be different.

What Are You Slow On?

We are all slow with certain topics.

Some people have great insight with education, but they lack any charisma.

I used to know a guy who was so smart with his career, but he needed help with what to text his crush.

There are topics that we are slow in too.

I’m slow with keeping in touch with others.

I know the right answer, but I don’t do the right answer.

When people call me, I don’t respond back immediately.

There is a running joke:

‘If it’s an emergency, call Armani 3 times in a row and leave a series of texts.’

Then I’ll pick up…

Maybe.

I have little common sense on how to appropriately respond back.

I need to work on that.

We all need to work on something.

What is common sense for us is new knowledge for someone else.

Rather than judging them too soon, meet them where they are.

It’s only a problem if they know they are wrong and they have no desire to work on it.

Treat people how you want to be treated.

Make that the ideal.

Work towards that ideal.

Slowly, basic manners and common sense will intertwine.

One day, you’ll realize they were the same thing.

For more insights into communication skills, check out the ArmaniTalks Free Daily Newsletter

– ArmaniTalks