How to Become Obsessed with Something
Today I was having a conversation with a friend about obsession.
It started off when I said:
‘I would rather have my kids hang out with smokers rather than hang out with kids who are obsessed with cars.’
This was a polarizing statement.
He told me to define what I meant when I said, “obsessed with cars.”
I said that it starts off with a guy who begins learning about cars.
That’s level 1.
Once he reaches level 1, he begins working on his car.
He takes out one engine and replaces it with another engine.
Level 2.
Soon, this guy begins hanging out with other kids who have a love for cars.
Level 3.
Soon, these kids begin doing tricks with their cars.
They race each other on empty roads.
Level 4.
The tricks get more dangerous.
Donuts, mud racing, drag racing.
All that nonsense.
Level 5.
The obsession is activated.
These guys tie their identity to their cars.
When they make their cars do cool tricks, they feel like they are tapping into their potential.
It’s all good…
Until a bad accident happens.
People who are obsessed with cars often die early deaths.
How People Become Obsessed
The way that you get obsessed with something is by gradually making a dent in the universe with your knowledge.
Then you keep passing level after level.
It always works like that.
It’s hard to get obsessed about something that you know nothing about.
If you know nothing about it, then the activity just looks like a big blob.
Every obsession started off with curiosity.
Most men have had a stage where they were obsessed with working out.
They first read blogs and watched videos on what working out was like.
The right and wrong way to do things.
They applied the knowledge and made an impact on their body.
When they saw that their knowledge can mold their body, they entered the “levels” game.
As they kept passing level after level (go from 165 pounds to 185 pounds), they became more obsessed.
To become obsessed with something, you must:
- Know.
- Conquer levels.
Good Obsession vs Bad Obsession
I’m going to die on this hill.
- A car obsession is stupid!!
People who get obsessed with cars often die early.
That’s because this is a stupid obsession.
It does not lead to anything practical.
The person doing donuts at night with their car can make the argument that it makes them feel alive.
Isn’t the sense of feeling alive practical?
Not really.
That’s only something that benefits you.
Imagine if someone gets obsessed with writing.
If their knowledge is insightful to others, then this is a good obsession.
Fitness may only benefit the other person initially.
Over time, having a fit body offers protection when taking care of loved ones.
A large part of assessing which obsession is good vs which obsession is bad is subjective.
I like to ask the question:
‘Would I want my kid engaging in this activity?’
If the answer is yes, then chances are this is a good obsession.
Limit Your Obsessions
Many people claim they aren’t obsessed with anything.
They say they lead average lives and play the balanced game.
Don’t let these people fool you.
If you look at their life, they are obsessed with things too.
They get obsessed with alcohol, snacks, tv dramas etc.
The mind is wired for excess.
That’s why discipline takes work.
I recommend having at least 1 obsession if you want to be great.
Becoming great takes a lot of work.
It requires an all-in or all-out approach.
The top-tier people in any field had to be obsessed for a while.
In that maniacal focus, they were able to rise to great heights.
Have a Turn-Off Zone
Most conflicts occur because people are unclear of their roles.
Susie says that this was Mary’s job, while Mary could’ve sworn it was Susie’s job.
Ambiguity breeds animosity.
The same concept applies to our obsession.
We don’t want to get detached from reality.
If we are obsessed and are zoning out when people talk to us, that’s not a good habit.
That’s why we want to have a turn-off zone.
Have a clear boundary on:
“In these times or these locations, I will not work.”
I have an office that I work at.
Once I leave that office, I focus on resting.
This is me figuratively turning my obsession off.
‘Could it really be considered an obsession if you are capable of turning it off?’
Yes.
I don’t know why people think it can’t.
People who are obsessed with good things are still capable of functioning in society and showing a different kind of discipline.
Strategic rest is a form of discipline.
Knowing how to turn it off is just as important as knowing how to turn it on.
A Word of Caution on Bad Obsessions
I’m not one of those guys who says you should get rid of every bad habit.
I don’t think that’s possible.
We are going to revert back to bad habits every now and then.
Just be wary of getting obsessed with a bad habit and confusing it as a good one.
I know many car enthusiasts who believe they are doing something noble.
It’s not a problem if they like going to car shows, and like learning about new models of cars.
That’s a hobby.
It only becomes a problem when it goes from a hobby to an obsession.
And the obsession doesn’t only harm them in a bad way, it affects others too.
A lot of these guys who get obsessed with cars will race on public roads and put other people’s lives in danger.
There was a story of 2 teenagers racing in Tampa.
And one of the kids crashed into a woman who was driving her newborn.
The racer survived, but the woman and newborn didn’t.
When you get obsessed with the wrong things, you’re not only affecting yourself.
You’re sucking others into your vortex of despair.
For more insights into mindset, check out the Level Up Mentality
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