How Inside Jokes Speed Up Rapport
Inside jokes are jokes that you have with a specific group of people.
Inside jokes imply secrecy.
There is a sacred bond that the parties of an inside joke must have.
Otherwise, it is just a typical joke.
‘Why have a secret joke, Armani? Why can’t I tell the world?’
Because of rapport.
There are a few underrated ways to build rapport with someone FAST.
One strategy is to tag them in memes.
Another strategy is to create a nickname for them.
There’s the good ole’ touch them on the shoulder technique when talking to them.
Another way to speed up rapport is to create a joke that only the 2 of you understand.
Let me tell you a story about one of the first times I created an inside joke.
Pass Spanish or Suffer the Consequences
Around 11th grade, I had to take Spanish in school.
My teacher’s name was Mrs. Darna.
She was this fiery Cuban lady who was in her 60s.
She looked like she was in her 40s though.
There was something that stuck out about Mrs. Darna.
She had a huggeee butt.
Mrs. Darna would walk in and a few minutes later her butt would walk in.
Due to her physique, she would often sit down as she gave her lectures.
I don’t know about the other students, but I don’t learn like that.
I need my teacher to stand up and engage with me.
Otherwise, I would fall asleep.
I wasn’t the only student bored out of their mind.
Most of the students were bored.
We would scrape by with Cs, Ds, and Fs.
Luckily, Mrs. Darna was not technologically savvy.
No matter how poor our grades were, we always seemed to get A’s or B’s in the end of the year.
We weren’t complaining.
Until one day…
We had to take the Spanish IB exam.
If we didn’t pass that, then we would have to take Spanish again.
No more running away.
We couldn’t rely on Mrs. Darna to incorrectly enter our grades into the system.
We had to learn some Spanish.
The Loner Spanish Student
Most of the kids in our class sucked at Spanish…
Besides one guy.
His name was Gui.
Gui was a loner.
He wouldn’t talk to anyone in class.
One day, a few of the kids began panicking.
‘We need to pass Spanish. How though?!’
After some brainstorming, one of us asked:
‘What about Gui? Maybe he can teach us in a way where we’d understand.’
Another kid responded:
‘Yea, but he doesn’t talk to anyone! How are we going to get cool with him?’
Every Thursday, me and a bunch of the guys would go to a Chinese buffet after school.
‘How about we invite Gui?’
The rest of the students agreed.
We asked Gui if he’d like to join us.
He suspiciously looked back at us…
Then he accepted.
The Origins of Fancy Boy
By the time we walked to the Chinese Buffet, we worked up quite the appetite.
Gui didn’t say a word during our walk.
This seemed like a bad sign.
The guys stacked up their plates with food.
We competed to see who could eat the most.
By the time we all came back to the table, our plates were stacked!
Everyone had a filled-up plate besides one guy…
Gui guy had a few chicken strips with sauce drizzled over them.
And he had some salad accompanying his measly portion of chicken.
We looked at his plate, confused.
After a long silence, one of the kids said:
‘Come on, Gui! Who eats like that at a buffet?? I see…. You’re a fancy boy!’
The rest of the kids busted out laughing.
After processing what was just said, Gui laughed and said:
‘No guys! I’m not a fancy boy.’
He clearly liked his new name.
You could tell he wasn’t used to being the center of attention.
That name stuck.
From here on out, Gui was “fancy boy.”
The Birth of an Iside Joke
For the next few days, whenever we’d see Gui, we’d say:
‘Yo, fancy boy! Sit with us.’
Gui would quickly grab his belongings and sit with us.
He would tutor us in Spanish.
He’d explain the concepts in a way that we understood.
The more we called Gui, fancy boy, the more the girls in our classroom got curious.
‘Why are you guys keep calling him fancy boy for??’
The rest of the guys looked at each other, laughed, and responded:
‘It’s an inside joke!’
The more we deflected explaining ourselves, the more curiosity we built.
The girls wanted to know.
They plotted to get the information out of us.
They’d find us when we were alone and would say:
‘At least tell me! Don’t worry, I won’t tell the rest of the guys you told me.’
Each time the girls tried to break us, each time we rejected the offer.
‘No, I can’t tell you. Like I said, it’s an inside joke.’
The more we kept the inside joke, INSIDE, the stronger our bond grew.
At that point, Gui was no longer a student who was teaching us Spanish.
He was now one of us.
Inside Jokes & Rapport
It’s been over a decade since the fancy boy days.
I don’t talk to anyone from the group anymore, which is why I’m writing this blog post.
If I still talked to them, I wouldn’t share the origins of the inside joke with you.
If any one of those guys succumbed to the girls on why we called Gui, fancy boy, then we would look at that guy differently.
Because now our inside joke had been compromised.
Each time we didn’t tell anyone about the origins of the inside joke, the more the rapport grew.
The Chinese Buffet experience became a rite of passage to knowing why we called Gui, fancy boy.
You had to be there.
For more insights into jokes and comedy, be sure to check out my book LOL: