What is Attraction Networking?
The following chapter is from Limit Breaker: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills
Networking is never easy at first.
Especially when it seems like everyone else knows each other, while you are left standing on the sidelines.
I used to be ‘that guy.’
You know, that guy who stands on the side hoping for someone to start a conversation with them.
Or that guy who is circling the networking event with those creepy googly eyes.
That was me.
When I moved to Virginia for a brief period, I knew things were going to get bumpy.
By the time I landed in this new location, I realized I needed to make some friends.
So, I began attending Meetup events.
‘How was it?’
Awkward!
‘Why was it awkward?’
Because it seemed like everyone knew each other & I was some alien.
I remember for my first Meetup event, I was standing on the side for a long time before I realized that I needed to break the ice with someone.
Everyone was in groups.
So, I walk up to a group of 5 people where 1 guy is telling a story.
And for some reason, I blurt out ‘Whatsup guys! I’m Armani.’
The guy telling the story was visibly upset after being cut off (I think he was about to get to the good part).
But he allowed me to join the group anyways.
The group tried creating conversation with me & vice versa.
But it just felt extremely uncomfortable.
One forced sentence after another.
1 hour later after hopping from group to group, I felt drained.
I went home that day & decided that networking was overrated.
Realized that was the last time I was entering a networking event again!!
But wait.
Then I realized that I was someone new to town.
I didn’t have many options you know.
Networking was pretty much my only option to make friends.
I decided to suck it up & keep showing face.
For the next few months, I began to attend event after event.
And something began to change.
‘What?’
I was no longer that guy who no one knew.
Eventually, after showing my face a bunch of times, & having mini conversations, I was starting to become known.
Now, many different groups knew who I was.
They would often invite me over, or I’d create a group by myself.
I’d keep an extra eye out for guests, so they didn’t have to go through the awkwardness like I did.
Soon, every event I went to, I had new people coming up to me.
Having a group to talk to made me much more approachable than the guy gawking at others from the side.
Why do I tell you this?
I reached the attraction networking stage AFTER putting in the work.
When you enter a brand-new networking event, it’s going to feel uncomfortable at first.
You don’t know anyone.
It’s easy to let that initial awkwardness rule out going to another one of those events again.
Big mistake.
Because everyone you know was a stranger at one point or another.
Networking feels awkward because you begin off at the uncomfortable stage at scale.
It feels like the whole world is watching you.
Nah homie. They are all focused on themselves.
Just keep being social.
Event after event of showing face, familiarity builds.
The networking muscle gets stronger & it begins to feel easier to talk to others.
Soon, you’ll begin to magnetize others.
Now, this is one way to go about it.
Another way to do attraction networking is via social media.
Be one of those accounts that always provides value in one way or another.
Don’t be the loser who goes on social media & whines all the time.
Rather, provide value by entertaining, educating and/or sharing some wisdom.
This route requires you to invest in yourself, share your message via your content & attract winners.
I recommend having a level of offline & online presence.
The offline presence will require you to fight through the initial discomfort, keep showing up to events, build familiarity & have others come up to you.
The online presence will require you to set up your social profiles, keep providing value & have others contact you.
Either way, it’s a win-win.
Life is a game of people.
Those who play the game stack up opportunities while those who opt out of the game twiddle their thumbs missing out on opportunities.
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