7 Signs of a Bad Texter [And How to Fix It!!]

Many men say:

‘Fashion? Nah, I don’t need to focus on that.’

By not focusing on that, they get judged as incompetent.

Remember, humans process tons of information with their eyes.

Similarly, many people have a nonchalant attitude toward text.

They think:

‘Text? Nah, I don’t need to focus on that. Wait till they meet me in person.’

Here’s a reality check for you, bud.

• Many folks will never meet you in person if you are a bad texter.

In this article, I will share a few signs of a bad texter.

Your offline personality is charming, great.

But your online personality is boring.

Let’s fix that!

Sign #1: Only Answers Questions, But Never Asks Them

Being asked questions is fun.

It allows you to share more about yourself.

But do you ask questions back?

Many folks don’t ask questions back via text!

This causes the other person to do more work.

It’s fine to not ask questions back if there is rapport with the other person.

But if you don’t have much rapport with the other person, then it’s important to ask questions back.

If you have no clue what to ask, a simple:

‘You?’

Does wonders!

Sign #2: Gives Low-Information Responses

Not asking questions back is bad.

But what’s worse is when you don’t ask anything back and give low-information responses.

I define something as ‘low information’ when it does not give the other person much to work with.

Example:

Person A: Do you have any siblings?

• Poor Response: Yea.
• Better Response: I do. I have an older brother who just moved to New Jersey.

For the better response, Person A is given more leeway to create conversational material:

• When did he move to New Jersey?
• Why did he move to New Jersey?
• How did you react when you found out he was moving?

Sign #3: Surface-Level Questions

Surface-level questions are stuff like:

• How are you?
• How’s your day going?
• What are you doing?

These questions are not bad.

But relying on these questions will never allow you to know someone.

Rather than constantly asking, ‘what are you doing?’

Ask:

• So, what made you get into creative writing (or whatever hobby they mentioned) in the first place?

Sign #4: Too Formal

What tonality is for speaking skills, emojis are for writing skills.

Tonality adds charm to the speaker’s message.

A texter can add similar charm to their message by using:

• Emojis
• Lmao
• Sending occasional memes

Disclaimer:

Avoid getting too carried away with the informality.

That’s an easy way to come off as a clown.

View informality as a seasoning.

Sprinkle it in.

With text, it’s easy for the context to get lost.

When we are telling a joke, someone may have no clue.

That’s where an emoji every now and then does wonders.

A laughing emoji makes the other person ripe to laugh their ass off.

Sign #5: Too Deep

Talking about deep topics is a great way to drill into a conversation.

But when the conversation is too deep, it becomes a turn-off.

Just like we don’t want to come off as a clown, we also don’t want to come off as a college professor.

Where talking to us is like filling out a homework assignment.

‘Explain to me your interpretation of the meaning of life in 500 words or less.’

The other person thinks:

‘What the fuck?’

A deep conversation never hurts.

It only hurts when we make the other person put in too much cognitive effort.

Remember…

The average adult leads a very serious & lonely life.

They are not trying to get off work & think a ton.

Instead, they want their mind to be off so they can finally relax.

Sign #6: You Asked Me That Already!!

In conversations, one person often leads while the other person follows.

The leader has more pressure to ask questions.

Constantly thinking of new questions to ask is not easy.

Especially as the conversation goes on for some time.

Every now and then, the other person may ask a question that you answered before.

It’s easy for you to say:

‘You already asked me that!!’

But I’d recommend against that.

When you say, “you already asked me that”, it embarrasses the other person.

Now they will either:

• Second guess themselves when asking you anything.
• Or they will become disengaged and expect you to lead the conversation.

Sign #7: General Butthurt, Reporting for Duty

It’s one thing to remind people in a nasty way that they already asked you a question…

But a more sinister thing to ask is:

‘What kind of question is that?’

I recall talking to this 1 girl who knew my cousin, Simmie.

The last time I talked to this girl was a decade earlier.

So, I asked her:

‘Are you & Simmie still friends?

Rather than saying:

‘Oh yea! I just saw her recently.’

This girl responds with:

‘What kind of question is that? Why wouldn’t we be?’

She dramatically dragged on her response for some time.

I thought:

‘Girl, I haven’t seen you in a decade. I have no clue who you are friends with. Don’t get butthurt so quickly.’

Moral of the story:

• Don’t get butthurt so quickly.

Bonus Sign: Takes Too Long to Respond

Taking too long to respond will deflate a conversation.

I would say a few hours for a response is fine for a working professional.

But if you disappear for days & then come back with a response, then the conversation will always seem flat.

Here’s a social skills quote:

The asshole who is consistently seen will be loved more than the charismatic fellow who always goes ghost.

Improve Your Texting Skills

I would say that this whole blog could be boiled down into 4 words:

‘Show some damn enthusiasm.’

I wouldn’t say top-tier enthusiasm is always needed.

It’s just needed in the beginning stages as rapport is still being established.

Many folks sleep on texting.

They don’t take it seriously at all.

But a rare few are aware of something:

‘If I already have a great personality in person, why not have a pleasant personality via text as well? It will only make my life easier!’

For more practical tips on communication skills, be sure to check out the ArmaniTalks Free Daily Newsletter

– ArmaniTalks