Why Humans Worry So Much [And How to Fix It!!]

Worrying is like buying an iPad and using it as a coaster.

We can use our imagination for so many better things.

However, we just worry.

We worry about ourselves, our family, events and more.

I believe if we understand why we are worrying, then the negative energy will lose its power over us.

We don’t want to completely stop thinking negative thoughts either.

When we are too positive, we stop looking around the corners.

Remember Andy Grove’s quote:

“Only the paranoid survive.”

We need a bit of paranoia.

A little bit of worrying keeps our senses sharp.

The Negativity Bias

Our brains tilt negatively for survival reasons.

Our ancestors didn’t have the time to practice mindfulness, gratitude, and positive affirmations.

The only thing that our ancestors focused on was surviving.

They needed to be negative so they could be alert.

That physiological response is engraved in us.

That’s why if we get 10 nice comments and 1 mean comment, the mean one will stick out.

There is a stickiness factor to the mean comment.

We think that this mean comment poses more of a threat to us, and that’s why we are allocating more mental bandwidth to it.

The negativity bias was great back in the days when our ancestors were living in the wild.

Nowadays, it’s an outdated software.

You have a living space, refrigerator, TV and more.

You’re not in immediate danger, but the body still acts like it is.

2 Ways to Fight Off Worrying

The 2 ways to fight off worrying are through information and gratitude.

During Toastmasters, whenever I would see a new speaker nervous before a speech, I’d give them the following exercise.

I’d say:

‘Write down exactly what is bothering you on a piece of paper. Be as detailed as you possibly can. Once you are done writing it, throw it away.’

So, they did.

They wrote down how they felt.

Then they read it.

Once they were done, they threw it away.

I asked them how they felt.

They said, ‘AMAZING.’

Why did this exercise work?

It’s because the nervous speaker got clarity of their situation.

Initially, they were just feeling an ambiguous feeling and reacting.

But once they wrote down their feelings, they got clarity.

They often realized they were reacting to something dumb.

Plus, knowing that they would be throwing away the paper allowed the nervous speaker to be more transparent.

A mix of clarity and openness melted away worrying.

Another way to overcome worrying is through gratitude.

Our brain is wired to be negative, but gratitude tilts our brain towards being positive.

We cultivate the positivity bias.

It’s not like we don’t have negative thoughts ever again.

Instead, we just don’t default to them like we once did.

Practice gratitude by consciously looking for:

Something you are happy with in your life.
Or look for tough moments that you faced and what you learned from them.

Worrying is Not Always a Bad Thing

Another reason you worry is because there is a reason to.

Your gut is alerting you that something is off or is about to be off.

No one taught us to worry.

We were just born doing it.

Don’t try to kill things that Mother Nature gave you.

I see new-aged advice making this mistake.

They say stuff like, ‘always be positive.’

That’s not possible or smart.

A battery has a positive and a negative sign.

As do our hearts.

The positive and negative moments allow us to create voltage.

That voltage transcends us to greatness.

When we worry, we are forced to look around the corners.

If we are always positive, then there would be no incentive to look around the corners.

Emergencies lead to emergence.

Artificial Worrying & Negative Visualization

One of the best ways to deal with worrying is to create artificial worrying.

Create scenarios where you are forced to worry to reach a practical insight.

This is also known as negative visualization.

Pain leads to our muscles ripping apart and rebuilding in the gym.

Occasional pain in the mind leads to new thought waves.

There are times when I will actively create a worrying scenario to do something practical.

Here’s an example…

Your apartment is messy.

You have 1 hour to make it spotless, otherwise, you’ll lose your lease and someone else will move in by the end of the day.

This scenario creates the feeling of artificial worrying.

Artificial worrying and real worrying still get your heartbeat to rise!

I guarantee you’ll clean the apartment better than you would have if you just said:

‘It’d sure be nice to clean my apartment today!’

Another example of creating artificial worry is about losing someone you love.

Let’s say you’re in a relationship and you got too complacent.

You are fat, not remotely romantic, and lowkey mean.

Thus far, your partner has tolerated your bad behavior.

Their toleration of your behavior has led you to be more complacent!

Well, create some artificial worry.

Imagine that one day, you come home and see a letter.

It is a breakup letter.

Your partner feels like you are a different person than you once were.

They say why they are leaving you and how they found someone else.

Feel that?

How do you feel as you’re reading that letter?

That pain will bring out your inner hunger again.

That inner hunger will lead to more romance.

Worry, but Don’t Worry Too Much

Only the paranoid survive.

Worrying is our imagination at work.

We create vivid settings of what could happen.

Worrying too much is when we are just giving ourselves a panic attack.

We fix that through more information and gratitude.

No need to eliminate worrying altogether.

Worrying is Mother Nature telling us that negativity is needed.

Negative energy helps us look around the corners.

It keeps us hungry.

With negative energy, we are capable of solving any problem out there.

Why Humans Worry So Much [And How to Fix It!!]