Why Are you So Needy?

Why Are You So Needy?

The following chapter is from Word Play: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills

Neediness is in the air.

Desperation is seeping out & disrupting the natural flow of the interaction.

Neediness = Social Sin

Where does neediness stem from?

How come some people have this aura of desperation while others have an armor of self-confidence?

It’s because of a few things.

The first reason is that we are needy by birth.

Think about it.

We are born onto this planet crying, needing adults to feed us, and give us attention.

A baby is a dependable creature.

A child is a dependent creature.

A young adult is a dependent creature.

An adult is….?

Well, that depends on the adult and the type of lifestyle that the adult has chosen.

Although the adult has been dependent on an authority for most of their life, they are eventually met with a fork in the road:

Continue being dependent or take the road less traveled?

The journey towards independence.

A lot of people choose dependence.

It’s the easy thing to do. Requires no work.

What they are dependent on is indicative of the person’s life.

Some are dependent on the government.

This leads them to excessively whine about handouts.

Some are overly dependent on their parents.

This leads them to go to Mom & Dad whenever there is a small problem.

Some are dependent on social interactions.

This leads them to come off as desperate when around people.

All dependent people have 1 major thing in common.

They lack a mission.

The mission is the north star for the mind that sparks the journey towards independence.

When the mind has a north star, it begins to form thoughts around that star, rather than seeking attention from an external party.

A person who is just winging life & showing up will always have an aura of neediness around them.

This aura of neediness will always be sensed by someone else’s subconscious mind.

They can tell that this person has nothing else going for them.

A lack of north star leads to awkward and fidgety body language.

But with the mission?

The entire game changes.

Now this desperate chap focuses their attention on what is in their control (their actions) rather than what is not in their control (other people’s perceptions).

The change in focus re-channels energy levels.

The neediness melts off & a level of self-confidence takes its place.

Look at anyone that you respect.

They are normally striving towards something.

A side project.

Building a business.

Overcoming a long-existing fear.

SOMETHING.

ANYTHING.

The mind requires some direction.

Without consciously assigning it a direction, the mind will just start dwelling over opinions.

This is a strange part of mother nature.

When you don’t simplify, it chooses the complex by default.

Swami Vivekananda was quoted saying:

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life; dream of it; think of it; live on that idea. Let the brain, the body, muscles, nerves, every part of your body be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, and this is the way great spiritual giants are produced.”

What is your one idea?

That one idea will take you from the shores of neediness to the beautiful island of self-confidence.