What is Privilege & How Does It Work

The following post is from the ArmaniTalks Newsletter

I used to have a very binary view of privilege.

I thought some people had it and some people didn’t.

But after writing on this newsletter for a while, I realized that words are arbitrary.

Who defines the constraints of privilege?

As I wrote on this newsletter some more, I made a shocking realization:

Everyone has some form of privilege.

In mainstream consciousness, the 2 buzzwords are:

-Pretty privilege

-White privilege

Another type of privilege not often talked about is:

-The privilege of having all sense organs working effectively.

Some people are born with one crucial organ not working effectively, aka: Blindness.

What gets talked about a lot are the good sides of privilege.

But what doesn’t get talked about enough are the dark sides of privilege.

For example, the wealthy kid.

Jacob was his name.

His parents had connections to the political scene and the schools.

Jacob was set up for life.

Didn’t have to work for much.

He cheated thru school.

Was set up for jobs after graduation.

However, as Jacob was hitting his mid-30s.

He was feeling off.

He never created anything for himself.

Instead, it was just given to him.

When he walks in a room, others address him as his dad’s son.

‘Ronald’s kid, right?’

This effects his self-esteem.

When he vents to others, they are like:

‘What are you whining about? You had everything delivered to you! There are people who would kill to be in your position.’

Jacob’s stuck in the conundrum of:

• Being upset for not creating anything meaningful in his life.

and

• Not feeling grateful for all he has.

Suddenly, a spiral happens.

He begins to act out.

A lot of silver spoon kids royally self-sabotage themselves.

It’s a stunning pattern that I’ve noticed.

‘Any idea why this happens?’

My theory is:

When you skip the process, the process finds you.

Another form of privilege is pretty privilege.

A while back, there was this Reddit thread that went viral.

It was an AMA (ask me anything) from this very attractive girl who chose to remain anonymous.

Others began firing off questions at her.

 ‘What’s it like to be that pretty?’

‘You must get everything handed to you, right?’

‘You probably don’t have to do any work.’

I was expecting very bubbly responses.

Instead, I saw very dark responses.

‘I have to consistently craft polite no’s to turn down strangers.’

‘By default, others assume I’m an idiot.’

‘I’m terrified of losing my looks.’

I’m like, what?

Damn, I thought this privilege thing only comes with the good.

No bad.

But nothing in life only comes with the good.

What the media does is they cherry-pick a few people’s privileges.

Highlight it.

And remove all low lights.

With all that being said, my view is that if you have a privilege, own it.

If you had wealthy parents who worked hard to make sure that you are set up…

Then get the resources they gave you and multiply it.

When the mind has little problems, it starts to feel guilty.

It takes on guilt of our past ancestors.

Our past actions.

And other people’s actions.

This is false improvement.

This person who is taking on all this guilt is like:

‘See? I’m such a stand-up person. Others should feel guilty like me! That’s progress.’

But this is an illusion.

The guilt-accepting person isn’t producing anything.

Some people get ideas easily.

Some people have more connections due to their family.

Some people have genetic gifts that give them a baseline level of athleticism.

And some people have good health.

All privileges to someone else.

Rather than whining about it.

Double down on it and use it ethically.

For more insights into emotional intelligence, check out the ArmaniTalks Newsletter

– ArmaniTalks