What Does it Mean to Be the Glue Guy?

In my junior year in college, I was the External Vice President of my fraternity.

That’s a fancy phrase for the guy who throws parties so his fraternity can get new members.

This is how I viewed parties:

• 300 people would come.
• 32 people would be interested in joining the fraternity.
• 14 would submit applications.
• 7 would cross.

Our organization would live to see another year.

During this role, I learned how hard it was to throw parties.

A bunch of things were needed:

• A venue
• Facebook event page
• DJ
• People
• Possible bouncer
• The person who manages the tickets

Etc.

During the day of the party, many thought I was going to be having a lot of fun:

‘Hey, you threw the party! Are you getting drunk tonight?’

Nah.

When you throw a party, you need to make sure everything is running smoothly.

I needed to be in a clear state of mind.

Before ever throwing a party, I thought it was the easiest thing to do.

After throwing events, I realized a party (or any social gathering) was a complex system.

Who is the Glue Guy?

The glue guy is the person who holds a social group together by throwing/initiating social events.

Without the glue guy, the social group would rarely (if ever) hang out.

For the longest time, I didn’t respect the glue guy of our group.

I thought he didn’t have his priorities straight.

He always wanted to chill and hang out.

‘Dude, why aren’t you doing something productive?!’

After he moved away, I noticed the group wouldn’t get together anymore.

Despite most of us still being in the same area, we were all scattered.

The glue guy was the one who was constantly:

• Deciding that an event was going to be thrown.
• Working with conflicting schedules.
• Managing emotions.
• Bringing energy on the day of the event.
• Scheduling future events.

And so much more.

When the glue guy was there, we didn’t notice his presence.

When the glue guy moved away, we finally felt his presence.

Why The Glue Guy is Important

I first realized how important the glue guy was when my glue guy left.

But the lesson really stuck when I was the External Vice President of my fraternity.

During that year of throwing parties, I was exhausted.

It sounds like a fun role, “throwing parties.”

But it’s the exact opposite.

You deal with so many flaky individuals who say they are going to do something, then do another thing.

You notice people who contribute nothing to the event, whine the most.

And you see the lazy bubbas getting drunk the fastest on the day of the event.

Throwing events is a role that gets no praise.

Most people think you are just some sort of “frat boy” who likes to goof off.

They don’t understand that a party is a complex system.

A system with a bunch of moving parts.

Most glue guys go through the experience of feeling underappreciated.

As we grow up, we have a lot of other responsibilities.

It becomes hard to plan anything social.

But someone needs to take up the role.

If no one takes up the role, that’s fine.

Most people will just do their own thing while living scattered lives in the same geographic location.

Becoming a Temporary Glue Guy

Throw an event.

You’ll learn a lot of life lessons along the way.

It could be a:

• Cake cutting
• Surprise party
• Work social
• Conference
• Fraternity party
• Seminar
• Charity event
• Company party
• Going away party etc.

Whatever it is, you must be the host.

Hopefully, the event has more than 7 people coming.

You’ll see that even with 7 people, things can get messy very quickly.

One person will tell you they don’t get out of work till late.

Another person will tell you that they are not cool with one of the people who is coming.

Another person will say that they are going to come…. but are nowhere to be found on the event day.

In addition to managing the schedules of a bunch of adults, you still need to get the other acts in order.

Such as finding the venue, getting the supplies, organizing the supplies, etc.

Luckily, throwing an event is a crash course on human nature.

Creating and managing any complex system teaches you a bunch of life lessons.

From these life lessons, you grow.

Appreciating the Glue Guy

This section is for 2 people:

• If you are not the glue guy but know one.
• If you are the glue guy.

Let’s break down the first section.

You are not the glue guy but know one:

Hopefully, you understand that being the person who keeps the group together is not easy.

It requires work and intent.

If you are capable of appreciating the glue guy, then they will have more enthusiasm in planning future events.

Maybe you can help them with some events too.

When you help them with the event, you’ll see that an event doesn’t just appear out of nowhere.

It took effort to get to that level.

You are the glue guy:

If you are the glue guy and feel discouraged, I want you to know something.

Most people have no clue how an event gets thrown.

Rather than feeling their lack of respect as something that is being done out of bad intent, view them as painfully ignorant.

My one year of throwing parties showed me that many people view:

• “Throwing social events” as “goofing off.”

That’s not the case.

While hosting these events, you’ll learn plenty of soft skills that will help you in other parts of life:

• Strategy
• Concentration skills
• Teamwork
• Organization skills
• Empathy

To name a few.

Despite a lack of recognition, you are still evolving.

The glue guy is like the hype man.

Both are beloved creatures whose presence is felt once they leave the room.

For more practical social skills insights, be sure to check out my book, The Charisma King: