Thin Skin vs Thick Skin
The battle of the 2 skins will always be present in your life.
Thin skin vs thick skin.
Which one are you?
In the communication skills world, your response will play a big role in your success.
We all like to view ourselves to be thick-skinned.
But many of us fall into the thin-skinned boat.
In today’s post, I want to get you thinking correctly about emotional states & mental toughness.
Because that’s what thin skin & thick skin boil down to.
Then, I want to teach you why thick skin is so important in the social world.
How you carry yourself is always a choice.
It’s easy to blame others for our problems.
But we don’t do that on this side of the world.
Thin skin vs Thick Skin.
Let’s see which team you are in.
What is Thin Skin?
I like to view a thin-skinned person as someone who is sensitive.
They feel emotions quicker & have the tendency to personalize the effects.
In many cases, personalizing will lead to an impulsive act.
If you think about it, we are born thin-skinned.
I’ve never met a tough baby in my life.
We are born onto this planet crying.
But look closer…
Imagine if we yell at a 5-year-old.
What will he do?
‘He will cry.’
He will cry because you hurt his feelings.
Your words (the stimulus) was able to get a response (output).
What is Thick Skin?
Thick skin is when someone is not easily offended.
They can feel the same intense emotions.
However, they do not personalize it. Therefore, they do not make an impulsive decision.
Thick skin is exercised onto our existence.
It is something that requires patience, grit & a fuck ton of pain.
(Going to talk more about this shortly).
But thick skin people are very emotionally intelligent.
There is this misconception that they do not feel emotions.
But that’s incorrect.
EVERY human feels emotions.
It’s just a part of life.
But they can read their emotions like the back of their palms.
Why is Thick Skin Important in Communications?
In the communication world, you’ll run into PLENTY of different personalities.
You will meet good-hearted people.
You will meet mean-hearted people.
Humans have the tendency to get stuck in the negatives though.
The negativity bias is when a human’s brain places more importance on negative scenarios for survival reasons.
This often causes us to let 1 insult outweigh 10 compliments.
Thick skin is important in the world of communication skills because if you let EVERY mean opinion get to you, then you’ll go insane.
Just take a look at celebrities’ social media for example.
Do you ever read those comments?
Some people can be hella’ mean for no reason.
And if you are someone who personalizes attacks, then you:
- Give importance to haters.
- Undermine your supporters.
Thick skin allows you to make more mature decisions.
You realize every move from others does not require a response.
And when you can internalize this, then you begin to control your behavior.
Someone else no longer controls you.
How to Level Up to Thick Skin?
We have been talking about thin skin vs thick skin.
Now, I will teach you how to level up to thick skin.
Thick Skin Formula:
- Conflict Chasing
- Deal with it.
You do not get in the best shape of your life by sitting on your ass watching Netflix all day, right?
So what do you do?
‘I go to the gym & put my body through some pain.’
You put your body through the pain because you know that’s how you will grow.
Same concept with thick skin.
You need to put your emotional muscles through the pain so you can grow.
Chase conflicts by always looking to grow.
If you don’t know what conflicts to chase, then analyze your fears.
Scared of public speaking?
- Then join Toastmasters.
Scared of swimming?
- Then take swimming classes.
Scared of being funny?
- Then tell more jokes.
Proving yourself right is the best way to overcome pain.
At first, when you are trying something new, you will feel hesitant.
And after failing incessantly, you will feel like quitting.
Over time, you’ll notice yourself toughening up.
You showed to yourself that you are able to produce thru pain.
This will have your emotional muscles stronger than ever.
Deal With It
There are certain times, doing nothing is better than doing something.
Yep, you read that right.
Everything doesn’t need a response.
Imagine if someone cut you off in traffic.
It would be super easy to go on road rage mode & cut that person off as well.
However, it would require A LOT of restraint to act as though nothing happened.
Ignoring is such an effective way to build thick skin because you are literally doing nothing.
Maintaining composure when you want to snap is one of the TOUGHEST things out there.
Often, this route is tougher than conflict chasing.
So if you are able to force yourself to maintain composure in stressful times, you’ll notice thick skin building.
You’ll begin to feel more poised.
Creating A Social Armor
The tougher that you get, the more you feel grounded in social interactions.
Don’t let the fans get to your head.
Don’t let the haters get to your heart.
If you are someone who considers yourself overly sensitive, then take gradual steps towards advancing.
And don’t think for a second that thick skin will make you some heartless robot.
Rather, you will feel much more in tune with your emotions.
You’ll know which emotions are disruptive.
And which emotions are productive.
From there, you can morph destructive into productive.
That’s modern-day magic.
It doesn’t matter how much of a great person you consider yourself.
Unfortunately, stupid people exist on this planet.
Keep conflict chasing & dealing with trials that you can’t control.
Take your emotional muscles to the gym.
Soon, an invisible armor will form across you.
As the famous saying goes:
The thicker the skin, the less the stress.
Level up to toughness & life will never be the same.