Should People Split the Bill on the First Date?
A while back, I was watching this show called First Dates.
I saw dates where chemistry was in the air.
People were laughing.
They were talking about in-depth topics.
Everything seemed to be going well, until…
The check came in.
That’s when the guy said:
‘We’ll split the bill.’
After he said that, the girl had a sad look on her face.
Her body language signaled:
‘Everything was going so well too!’
After the date was done, they went into a room and said whether or not they would go on a date again.
The guy enthusiastically said, ‘Of course!’
The girl was silent.
Then she looked at the guy and said:
‘Everything was going well until the bill came.’
Who Should Pay on the First Date?
There are different opinions about this.
The common answer is:
‘Whoever asked the person on a date.’
I think this is a fair response.
But a girl asking a guy out on a date is an outlier, not the norm.
So, this response does not lead to much clarity.
I am simple with my answer.
For the first date, I believe it’s smart for the guy to pay.
Notice the word I used:
- Smart.
I didn’t say logical.
Because if we are being logical about this, then 50/50 would be the only right answer.
There are certain parts of life where logic doesn’t apply.
No matter how much we try, logic will give us a radically different answer from what’s happening in reality.
The “who should pay for the first date” debate is an emotional topic.
My opinion is that the guy should pay for the first date.
But that comes with a catch…
Picking & Choosing
When we go in for an initial job interview, we wear a suit.
We don’t wear a suit once we get the job.
A simple dress pants and a dress shirt will do.
That’s not to say we were lying about who we are.
We just wanted to make a great first impression.
Covering the bill for the first date makes a great first impression.
Covering the bill comes with a catch:
- The woman should be a fun person.
If she’s constantly on her phone, not making an attempt to ask any questions, and seems bored…
Then paying for the first date is optional.
Taking charge, initiating, and offering to cover the bill are traits of masculine energy.
Where fuzziness, warmth, and receptiveness are traits of the feminine.
If the man is paying for the first date and showcasing masculine energy, while the woman is not showing any feminine energy…
Then I understand why the guy doesn’t offer to pay.
Why More Folks Are Going 50/50
The 2 reasons people are going 50/50 are because of changing values and the economy.
In the 70s, there was a strict guideline on how a man should act and how a woman should act.
Nowadays, a lot of things are up in the air.
Plus, the economy is different too.
Before, you could get a great date going for 25 bucks.
Nowadays, a great first date costs 100 bucks.
Due to these 2 factors, more folks are taking the 50/50 route.
I think the 50/50 route is fine for future interactions.
Although I don’t do 50/50.
I go with the 80/20 route.
Going 50/50 or 80/20 is fine when there is more rapport.
It’s like personal questions.
If I hop in an Uber and the driver asks, how many people I’ve had sex with, I’d think:
‘Why are you asking me that question?? Too personal!’
No rapport there.
Versus when my close friend who I’ve known for a while asks me how many people I slept with, then I’d feel comfortable giving them a response.
More rapport there.
When there is no rapport with the girl, going 50/50 is not wise.
The eye test doesn’t lie either.
For a lot of these first-date shows, everything is going well.
Chemistry is in the air.
But when the first date check is botched, the whole date becomes botched.
The Changing Dating Landscape
There’s going to be a portion of the audience who reads this and thinks:
‘What’s up with this guy? He’s still stuck in the 60s.’
I believe I’m very balanced though.
My position is:
- On the first date, the man pays.
- As more rapport is built, the split can be negotiated.
I don’t think it’s wise for the guy to always pay for stuff, where it’s a 100/0 split.
That’s because whenever the guy covers for everything, and the girl covers for nothing…
The girl loses touch with reality.
Soon, she becomes disengaged from the relationship and begins to develop an entitled attitude.
Having her contribute something is an optimal way to keep her grounded with reality.
- 50/50 is fine for future interactions.
- 60/40 is fine.
- As is 80/20.
All these bullets become activated once rapport is there.
If no rapport is there, then we didn’t waste our time with a second and third date.
It’s hard to give a clear-cut response to these types of things because there are so many variables involved.
Just cover the first date dude!
Viral Clips
I keep seeing viral clips of guys who don’t pay for the first date, then they record the girl’s temper tantrum afterward.
During their confrontation, the guy says:
‘Times are changing, we are equal now.’
Many folks in the comment section are split.
Half give this guy a pat on the back while the other half make fun of the guy.
Times are changing, yes.
There are things we need to evolve on.
However, when it comes to attraction, there are some triggers that we can’t escape.
Paying for the first date is one of them.
It creates the right momentum for you.
Avoid making a big deal about it.
As soon as the check comes in, swiftly pull out the wallet.
If the girl is thankful, then allow for a second date.
Otherwise, move on.
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