Random Thoughts on Introverts & Extroverts
The following post is from the ArmaniTalks Free Daily Newsletter
I’ve heard plenty of introverts say:
‘I want to be more extroverted.’
But I’ve never heard an extrovert say:
‘I want to be more introverted.’
I have a simple solution:
- Be an ambivert.
Be introverted with your thinking & be extroverted with your communication.
When someone is communicating with you, they shouldn’t have a clue that you’re introverted.
I’ve noticed introverts are very strategic.
That’s why I believe that introverted thinking is high ROI.
Despite extroverts having more social interactions, they aren’t often learning much.
They are going from interaction to interaction making the same mistakes.
While an introvert is able to have limited interactions and extract more wisdom:
- Geez I asked a personal question too soon. I’ll wait until rapport is built before getting personal like that.’
- I cut them off a lot. Best that I don’t do that again.
- I didn’t say much, I should talk more next time.
The introvert is capable of spotting patterns and acting on it.
The problem with the label ‘introvert’ is that it’s not seen as cool.
It’s seen as the following:
- Shy
- Socially awkward.
- Loner.
All these are false.
Extroverted and introverted come down to energy levels.
Extroverts get energized around people.
Introverts need to energize after hanging out with people.
Charm has nothing to do with it.
Extroverts can be very socially awkward.
And introverts can be very charming.
Within the past few years, I’ve been noticing something.
Plenty of folks who were extroverted in their 20s become more introverted in their 30s.
They didn’t go in with the intention of saying:
‘I want to be more introverted!’
It just happened.
Some theorize this shift is because of more responsibilities and being tired.
But I think this is beyond physical energy levels.
I believe it’s a personality shift.
Let’s say a man who used to be very extroverted was given a 1 week break from his wife and kids.
The wife is taking the kids to her parent’s place.
This man can do whatever he wants.
Despite having a free schedule, he’ll do introverted things.
He’s chilling with his friends for a while, and then is like.
‘It’s getting late. I need to go home.’
It’s only 9pm.
His friends are like
‘You’re free this whole week! You don’t have to go back.’
This man doesn’t have to go back.
He WANTS to go back.
He did his social activities for the day and now wants to re-energize.
This is a shift in personality.
Introverts who want to become more extroverted can do so.
It requires conscious effort.
- This is equivalent to pushing a rock up a mountain.
While many extroverts just naturally become more introverted as time goes by.
It does not require conscious effort.
- This is a rock gently rolling down the mountain.
I believe having both sides of the coin is the best.
Be introverted with your thinking.
Be extroverted with your communication.
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