Is It Immature to Unfriend People on Social Media?

I used to have this brown crew in high school.

Asif, Pratik, and Stephen.

We would eat lunch together and bond.

Asif and I were Bengali.

Pratik and Stephen were Indian.

We talked about sports, girls, and about life in general.

It felt good bonding with our own during lunch.

When I initially moved to college, I tried to stay in touch with them.

I moved to Tampa while Asif, Pratik, and Stephen remained in West Palm.

Whenever there was a big event in West Palm, I went home to visit.

I’d hit up the old school crew and hung out with them like the good ole days.

Then life happened.

We all began doing our own thing.

I wasn’t as active on Facebook.

Recently, I got curious about how the old-school crew was doing.

We used to hang out a bunch in 2008.

Now it was 2024.

16 years had gone by.

I checked all 3 of their profiles.

I was shocked to see that 2 of them had unfriended me.

How I Felt After Being Unfriended

‘Why were you shocked, Armani? You just mentioned life got in the way.’

It did, but still…

I thought there was an unspoken loyalty that the brown squad had.

Despite us separating, we may have reunited in the future.

Who knows??

I thought unfriending people was mainly done when some type of betrayal was involved.

Like stealing from someone or hooking up with their ex.

I did none of that.

All I did was move away.

And it’s not like they bothered to keep in touch either.

Maybe I should have unfriended them??

After the shock, I was angry with myself for not having unfriended them before they unfriended me.

Obviously, I was being a baby.

This wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

However, that’s how I felt.

• A flurry of emotions.

Just know this…

Others will feel the same flurry of emotions when you unfriend them.

Is It Immature to Unfriend People?

I would say yes and no.

A lot of people unfriend others for petty reasons.

They feel entitled to the other person’s time.

When they don’t get that attention, their inner monologue kicks in.

I knew a girl like this.

‘Can you believe Pooja hasn’t liked a single pic of mine in a year? I literally like ALL of her profile pics. What’s Pooja’s problem?’

I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Maybe Pooja didn’t see her pics?

But this girl was hellbent in thinking that Pooja was shading her.

‘If Pooja doesn’t like any of my upcoming 3 pics, then I’m unfriending her.’

Which she did!!

This type of unfriending was a bit petty in my opinion.

Others may understand what she was going through, but I believe it was overkill.

Other times, unfriending is not immature.

It’s just people cleaning up their feeds.

If you never talk to someone or engage with them, then is it smart to have them on your friends list?

Not really.

It’s like keeping people who never open your newsletter on your subscribers list.

As teenagers, we want volume.

We want to show how many “friends” we have on Facebook.

So, we add everyone because we believe it’ll help with our clout.

But as we begin to grow up, we prioritize meaningful relationships.

• We don’t want “friends.”
• We want friends.

This is when unfriending someone is perfectly acceptable.

‘Sorry, I don’t know you like that. We haven’t kept in touch for ages. Good luck to the next chapter of your life.’

Unfriend.

How People React When You Unfriend Them

When you unfriend someone, there are a few possible reactions:

• No reaction.
• Confusion.
• Vitriol.

Despite me feeling a boatload of emotions, I showed “no reaction” to the 2 friends who unfriended me.

I never directly contacted them and asked what happened.

I just moved on with my life.

Plenty of folks will have no clue that you unfriended them.

They are in a different chapter of their life, and they don’t care.

“Confusion” is another reaction.

I used to be in the Bengali Student Association with this one guy.

I had worked really hard in getting a logo made for the club.

When I bought it to the club meeting, everyone loved it, besides this guy.

He began making fun of it.

I was immature at the time, so I went home and unfriended him on social media.

A few days later, he hit me up and was confused.

‘What happened bro? Did you unfriend me because of what I said about the logo?’

“Vitriol” is another reaction.

This often happens during a breakup.

Once a relationship ends, one partner always says:

‘We should still be friends!’

The other person pretends to agree.

Then they go on social media and block their ex on all platforms.

The partner who wanted to remain friends is irate.

This irate person confronts the ex for moving on so fast in the digital space.

Cleaning Up Your Feed

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned the importance of curating your feed.

Our online profile influences our offline profile.

If our feed is filled with negativity, how do you think our minds will be after we consume that?

I often unfriend folks on social media when they mainly post negative trash.

They are quite prolific in posting negative trash too.

I either mute them or I’m like:

‘Sorry bud, you need to go.’

More often than not, they don’t notice.

Or who knows…

Maybe they did notice but just didn’t confront me.

As I grow older, I don’t care too much about what people think about me.

I’m also not preoccupied with having a bunch of fake friends on social media.

I add wisely.

I follow wisely as well.

What we allow onto our feed enters our minds.

It’s not immature to unfriend people on social media.

Just know that they most likely are noticing.

For more insights into social skills, check out the Charisma King Book

– ArmaniTalks