Is It Ever Okay to Date a Co-Worker?

In my last company, there were 2 people, Guillermo and Sharon.

They were from the same country.

Guillermo was this big awkward guy who was hard to talk to.

He surprisingly had a pretty girlfriend.

They had been dating since childhood.

Everything seemed to be going well in his personal life.

Until one day, she decided she was going to move and ended things.

Guillermo was heartbroken.

For the next few weeks, Guillermo went from being an awkward guy to being an awkward depressed guy.

A few of his coworkers tried to cheer him up, but nothing worked.

He kept moping about his ex.

Eventually, we had an idea.

We were going to set him up with other girls.

The Setup

When we introduced Guillermo and Sharon, things seemed to be going well.

Sharon was attractive and a sweet person.

Guillermo would strike up conversations with Sharon in the beginning.

And the coworkers would ask Sharon what she thought of Guillermo.

She thought he was a cool person.

One night, we all went out.

Guillermo finally professed his feelings for Sharon.

She was shocked.

She didn’t remotely see him like that.

When she rejected him, Guillermo went back to being upset.

Everything was now awkward.

Sharon knew that Guillermo liked her.

But Guillermo wasn’t quite sure if he liked her or not.

The rest of the coworkers kept telling him that he and Sharon would be perfect together until he started believing it.

Not sure if he really liked her though.

He still loved his ex.

And now this awkward situation with 2 coworkers was created based on a lie.

Is It Appropriate to Date Coworkers?

I don’t think it’s smart to date coworkers.

It seems like an amazing idea when you are working with the person and attracted to them.

You’ll fool yourself with your “logic.”

You’ll think:

• I see this person all the time, so we can be coworkers and have quality time.
• I understand their work hours.
• They are attractive and I can monitor them at work.

Blah blah blah.

The main question you want to ask yourself is:

• What if things go wrong?

This question takes you out of your infatuated state and makes you practical.

Because working is like sleeping.

We roughly sleep 8 hours a day and we roughly work 8 hours a day.

If you slept in a bed that possibly hid a snake, you’d be extra careful in sleeping in it, right??

It doesn’t matter how comfortable the bed looks.

If there is potentially a deadly snake inside the comforters, you need to watch out!

It’s the same with work.

A lot of companies explicitly state that workers should not get romantic with one another.

Other companies don’t state it.

It’s a judgment call on your end at that point.

There is a famous saying.

• “You don’t shit where you eat.”

For a reason.

Can Coworkers Ever Date?

I think it’s better to date an ex-coworker than a current coworker.

So, I’m not a buzzkill with this one my friend.

I’m not one of those guys who are like:

‘The rules are the rules!’

I’m just one of those guys who understands the pros and cons of dating a coworker.

I’ve seen it go wrong many times.

Wait until the person leaves the company or you leave the company.

Other than that, have an abundance mindset.

It’s harder to make friends in your 30s, I get it.

You may be talking yourself into thinking:

‘When am I ever going to meet someone like this person?

If you put yourself out there, then you will definitely meet other people.

There are billions of women on the planet.

There are billions of men on the planet.

You will find your person.

Impacting the Rest of the Team

Another part of the Guillermo and Sharon story that I didn’t share was the side effects of the interaction.

After Guillermo professed his feelings to Sharon and Sharon rejected him…

It was hard to invite the 2 of them to the same event.

This was unfortunate because whenever each of our respective crews were in the same event, we had a blast.

The side effect of pursuing a coworker is that it makes it awkward for your other coworkers.

The team dynamics get thrown off.

A lot of people cheat on their significant other with someone at work.

How often do you hear:

‘I ended up sleeping with my boss, honey. I hope you can understand.’

A lot of coworkers know when infidelity is going on behind the scenes.

They will learn a lot about the worker who is cheating on their spouse, and the worker who is okay with being a homewrecker.

Word spreads like wildfire in the office.

Do you think the workforce will view these romantic lovers as high-integrity people who deserve to get a promotion in the future?

Hell no!

Dating coworkers creates an uncomfortable environment for the other workers.

If the other workers are uncomfortable enough, then you will be shadow-banned…

You keep putting it in all the hours.

But for some reason, you can’t seem to get any promotions.

Have Fun After You Clock Out

The reason for a lot of our problems is because we don’t create clear boundaries.

We are too comfortable with ambiguity.

Aka: The “I’ll see where it goes” mindset.

That mindset can lead to great spontaneous moments, sure.

But a lot of times, that mindset will lead to a lot of headaches.

Like having a kid with a one-night stand.

And the one-night stand turns out to be a maniac!!

Now your whole life is ruined.

For what?

Because of the “I’ll see where it goes” mindset.

Have clear boundaries dude.

Every now and then, adopt the:

“I will not see where it goes” mindset.

Dating a former coworker is fine.

But when it’s your current coworker, I would not recommend it.

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