How to Make the Audience Cry on Command

Making someone cry in social skills is not the nicest thing to do.

But making someone cry in public speaking is a magical thing to do.

I’ve seen moments in Toastmasters where the speaker was sloppy:

• They mumbled, had a sloppy delivery, barely looked at the audience etc.

However, their story was able to make the audience cry.

When the speaker made the audience cry, the audience immediately forgave all of the speaker’s mistakes.

I used to get annoyed by this.

I felt as though emotions were trumping logic.

Especially when I thought I had a better delivery than the sloppy speaker.

Didn’t matter.

Life was trying to teach me a lesson.

Making the audience cry will often guarantee the speaker a trophy.

Most likely the first-place trophy too.

The Psychology of Making the Audience Cry

So, why is making the audience cry such a big deal?

One word:

• Vulnerability.

When a person cries near someone else, they are temporarily vulnerable near them.

When the vulnerability is increased, the speaker is elevated in importance.

Momentarily, the speaker has a glow.

Making someone cry is similar to making someone laugh.

My quote is:

‘It doesn’t matter what you say right after you made someone laugh, they are paying attention.’

Just like humor creates hyper-focus, tears create hyper-attachment.

Path 1 To Making Someone Cry – Protection

The first way to make someone cry is to create a situation where one character protects another character.

Imagine there are 2 brothers who had a falling out.

The little brother cuts ties with the big brother, blocks him on all socials, and deletes his number.

6 years pass.

One day, the little brother finds himself in a predicament.

He has developed a gambling addiction and owes money to a lot of dangerous people.

If the little brother doesn’t pay up, then the gangs will kill him.

Luckily, the little brother has made a lot of friends within the past 6 years.

He calls them and asks for a loan.

Each of them swiftly creates an excuse for why they can’t give him the money.

Time is running out.

If the little brother doesn’t get the money by Friday, he’s done…

On Friday morning, he has no other choice.

He goes through his notes and finds the older brother’s number.

He calls the older brother.

‘Hello?’ the older brother responds.

The little brother says hi back and says who it is.

He is expecting the older bro to hang up… but he doesn’t.

The little brother tells the older one about his predicament.

The big brother responds back:

‘How much do you need?’

The little brother says:

‘10,000 dollars.’

‘What’s your Venmo?’ the older brother asks.

The little brother gives it.

He can’t believe he is actually getting the loan!!!

Once the money is received, the little brother says:

‘I’ll pay you back with interest!

Big bro says:

‘Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to pay me back at all.’

Then hangs up.

If a scenario like this was delivered effectively, then it can easily make the audience cry.

Why?

Because the big brother protected his estranged little brother.

No questions asked.

Path 2 To Making Someone Cry – Full Circle

The mind has this thing called the ‘law of closure.’

It loves to close loops.

When it can’t close a loop, something feels off.

A simple example is when I hold two of my index fingers in front of you.

The tips of the index fingers are ALMOST touching, but they are not.

There will be this primal urge to make the tips touch.

That’s exactly how stories work too.

A full-circle movement is when things are going well, things break apart, and then things realign.

One example of a full circle moment is during best man speeches.

The best man will often talk about:

• How he and the groom met.
• How he and the groom split ways (betrayal, moved away, slowly lost touch).
• How he and the groom crossed paths once again.

When they crossed paths again, the audience feels the full circle moment.

Making Someone Cry by Accident

There will be times when the speaker makes someone cry by accident.

My speech, the 4 haircuts, has been delivered in multiple Toastmasters meetings.

That was my first-ever speech, also known as the icebreaker.

Once I delivered that, I got some feedback on how I could make the speech better.

I joined another Toastmasters club to get more practice.

And in the new club, I delivered a refined 4 haircuts.

This speech was about how I had a different haircut in different phases of my life, and what I learned in each phase.

• Combover – When I was living in a village in Bangladesh.
• Buzzcut – When I moved to the US.
• Long hair – When I was going through my rebel phase.
• Spikes – When I was entering the working world.

These haircuts were meant to give others a better look into who Armani was.

One of the ladies in the audience cried when I gave the speech.

It’s because my long hair stage reminded her of her rebel phase.

She was a big rebel against her mom.

And her mom had recently passed away.

This was a situation where I accidentally made her cry.

If our speech reminds an audience member of a tumultuous moment from their life, they may cry.

Tears Are Good on Stage

I wouldn’t go in with the intention of:

‘Today, I will make the audience cry.’

If it happens, then it happens.

Just know that it’s a good thing.

And if you’ve made the audience cry in the past, now you know why.

Most likely, you:

• Created a scenario where one character was protecting the other.
• Created a full-circle moment.
• Created a scenario that reminds the audience of a tough moment from their lives.

In social skills, tears are bad.

In public speaking, tears make the speech memorable.

For more public speaking insights and hacks, check out the Speaking Wizard eBook.