How to Give Legendary Pep Talks
A pep talk is a talk that is meant to give someone courage.
Every now and then, I’ll play around with words.
What exactly does encouragement mean?
I’ll break apart the word.
- En-courage.
Then I replace En with In.
- In-Courage.
Then I flip it.
- Courage-in.
Put courage in.
When I think of encouragement, I think of:
- Put courage in someone.
I love it.
Because that perfectly displays what a pep talk is about.
A person is feeling lost and scared.
And we can strategically use our words to bring them back on track.
Why Motivation is a Good Thing
The self-improvement space bashes motivation a lot.
They regurgitate quotes like:
‘Motivation won’t get you to the promise land, but discipline will.’
I’m a big fan of discipline, but I don’t believe bringing down motivation to bring discipline up is a smart thing to do.
Because let’s face it…
Humans are emotional creatures first and logical creatures second.
Discipline is a logical act.
We are given a set of processes that we must execute.
Now it’s just a matter of executing those processes in a sustainable way.
If humans were logical creatures, then discipline would resolve all our problems.
But that’s not the case.
Every now and then, someone is feeling lost.
They are unsure why they are being disciplined for.
Why not just eat Twinkies and watch Netflix all day?
Other times, the person knows exactly what they are supposed to do.
But they are terrified.
They are unable to execute the moves because fear is paralyzing them.
And other times, a person says:
‘Something is wrong.’
You ask:
‘What is wrong?’
The person says:
‘I have no clue.’
Humans are emotional creatures first and logical creatures second.
When you understand this, you will learn the role that motivation plays on the human psyche.
How to Give a Pep Talk
Different people have different strategies for giving a pep talk.
One strategy is to enthusiastically tell the recipient that they can do it!
This is the perception the public gets of motivational moments.
Where a speaker is screaming loudly at the audience.
Although this strategy is efficient, my pep talk strategy is entirely different.
Rather than tell the recipient what to do, help them remember what they forgot.
Whenever new members would join Toastmasters, they would be given a mentor.
After paying my dues, I was the mentor to some of these newbies.
Right before their first speech, they became paralyzed.
‘I can’t do it bro. This speaking thing is not for me.’
Rather than yell at them and say:
‘Come on man, you can do it!’
I’d simply ask:
‘Why’d you join Toastmasters in the first place?’
That’s when they’d be REMINDED of something they forgot.
They said:
‘Because I wanted to overcome shyness and become more confident.’
When they made that realization on their own, the pep talk served its purpose.
The pep talk in this scenario was in the form of a question.
Intentionally Giving Ambiguous Advice
In the scenario above, I shared how I asked a question and that’s all it took for someone to get clarity.
Other times, pep talks can come in the form of useful stories.
There was this buddy of mine who was pouring so much money into a business that looked like it was going to fail.
He wasn’t only wasting his money either; he was wasting his dad’s money too.
One day, he was venting.
I thought this was a good time to share a useful story.
This story would give ambiguous advice.
He needed to extract whatever lessons that resonated with him.
I didn’t want to bluntly tell this guy:
‘You should pour more money into the business.’
I didn’t know anything about his profit & loss statement.
So, I shared a story about Amazon.
Amazon was the golden stock in the 90s.
Everyone thought it could only go up.
By the late 90s and early 2000s, the dot com bubble hit.
And Amazon’s stock came tumbling down.
Jeff Bezos was now seen as Jeff Bozo.
He was bleeding money.
Soon as I said, “bleeding money”, this buddy became alert.
Those 2 words resonated with him because he was in a similar situation.
I said it took Jeff 7 YEARS to climb his way back to the top.
But during those years, he didn’t just spend time whining.
Instead, he used those 7 years to understand what his business was really about.
Customer obsession.
I was sharing this story to let my buddy know that other people had been in similar dark situations.
I didn’t want to tell this guy to keep his business going just for the sake of keeping it going.
I wanted him to extract the lesson that dark times are not forever.
Also, during dark times, we are presented with many lessons.
Whether he pulled the plug or not, hopefully, he learned a lesson for future endeavors.
Remembering Who Was There for You
Delivering a pep talk will be a small portion of your day.
A lot of times, you don’t even know that you’re giving one.
But the person who is going through a tough time only notices 1 thing:
- They are in a dark position.
- After talking to you, they feel less glum and more clarity.
You took them from point A -> point B.
Life continues…
You go about living your life and doing your thing.
15 years pass.
The person you gave a pep talk to bounced back.
He became a huge success.
One day, he invites a bunch of people to his mansion.
You are invited.
Everyone is surrounding him.
He makes eye contact with you.
He pulls you to the side and says:
‘I know you probably forgot, but you gave me some words of encouragement when I was on the verge of quitting. That talk you gave me changed my life. The riches I have can be strongly credited to you. I appreciate that.’
You wonder what the hell he is talking about.
After a while, you recall the talk he is referring to.
The pep talk to be exact.
It was a small moment for you, but it was a monumental moment for him.
For more communication skills insights, be sure to check out the Armani Talks Free Daily Newsletter
