How Opinions Form & How Opinions Change
My definition of an opinion is a subjective interpretation of data.
If I see a piece of art in front of me, I see it with my senses.
Others see it with their senses.
It’s there.
Others love the art.
That’s their interpretation.
I hate it.
‘What the hell is this?? This is art? It’s literally a chair with one leg missing. If this is art, then give me a hammer and 30 minutes at your apartment & I’ll show you art!’
Opinions are not formed on the spot.
That’s an illusion.
We weigh our entire life experiences when forming a “quick” opinion.
Why Our Background Plays a Role in Opinions
In the West, a strong handshake means that you are confident.
While in the East, a strong handshake means you have an untamed ego.
An Easterner who moves to the West at age 40 still has a negative perception of a strong handshake.
Their locations changed, but they did not.
Who knows how much the negative opinion of the handshake will have in other parts of their life?
This person who moved from the East avoids working with a potential business partner because this guy seems ‘iffy.’
What does ‘iffy’ really mean?
We often use general words when describing emotional states.
If we were forced to clarify that general word, it will lead us to memories of the past.
This Eastern fellow does not want to work with this ‘iffy’ business partner because this guy is too bullish.
He’s loud, has a strong handshake, and looks you right in the eye.
This Eastern fellow worries that he will be talked over by this potential business partner.
He has no logical reason as to why.
His past experiences of poor body language moves caused him to form a “quick” opinion of this potential business partner.
Your Lens Determines What You See
I was once debating a person who said entertainment was a waste of time while I said entertainment was not a waste of time.
This fellow and I were not that different from one another.
We were around the same age, had the same skin color & ran businesses.
So, why the radical difference of opinions?
Because we were evaluating the data from different lenses.
He was evaluating entertainment from the lens of self-improvement while I was evaluating entertainment from the lens of social skills.
From his perspective, he was saying:
‘Every second you spend watching TV, you could have spent that time going to the gym, reading a book, or working on your business.’
- Final opinion: Entertainment takes away from productivity.
From my perspective, I was saying:
‘During social interactions, entertainment takes precedence over education. Going to a comedy show beats reading a book together.’
- Final opinion: Entertainment sets the fertile ground for a pleasurable social experience.
Bottom line?
The lens someone possesses will determine which opinion they reach.
Can Opinions Change?
Although opinions are not formed on the spot, they can change on the spot.
When I was a kid, I couldn’t fathom why someone would have a gun at their house.
Just call the cops if someone breaks in, duh!
For most of my life, I had roommates.
But around 2019, I decided to get my own place downtown.
One night around 10 pm, I was chilling at my place.
Suddenly, I heard someone aggressively knocking on the door.
It startled me.
I tiptoed to my door, looked through the peephole, and saw that it was my handyman, Bill.
Bill was 80ish years old and couldn’t hear well.
He tended to knock loud not knowing how loud it was.
A loud knock during the day isn’t too bad.
But a loud knock during the night is terrifying.
That loud nighttime knock changed me.
At that moment, I thought:
‘What if it was a guy who was trying to break in?’
Obviously, that’s silly.
A robber is not going to knock before breaking in.
But something in my mind played the scenario of a guy knocking…
Knocking louder.
KNOCKING LOUDER.
Fiddling with the door handle.
KNOCKING THE WINDOWS.
Breaking the windows.
Mask over his face, pistol in his hand, entering through the shattered window.
What the hell was I going to do then?
Call 911?
Sure, that’s the right thing to do!
But after that knocking moment, I began to see bizarre videos of 911 operators who were showing an attitude to the people who called in during a moment of crisis.
These operators had an aggressive tonality and were pestering the caller with dozens of questions.
I’m watching these videos & thinking:
‘Shut the fuck up and send the cops over!’
I thought when you called 911, the cops immediately headed over.
But there is often a lag with answering questions and all of that.
That lag could mean life or death.
Nowadays, I see a PERFECT case for having a gun.
And what sparked that change was a loud knock on the door.
Keeping Certain Opinions to Yourself
I don’t trust a lot of people on the Internet.
Because they connect with labels too much.
I wonder:
‘If you were presented with new information that proved your side wrong, would you change your mind?’
They would claim yes.
But judging by their mannerisms, I can tell the answer is no.
If they switched sides, their audience would turn on them, they would lose money, and they would lose their sense of self.
It’s important to not get a little bit of knowledge and begin running your mouth.
Allow opinions to marinate before you begin articulating them & putting your face behind them.
Because opinions can radically change in an instant.
Here’s a definition of maturity that I’m sure you’ve never heard:
‘Maturity is realizing that it takes only 1 experience to radically shift your worldview.’
When you internalize this definition, it’s easier to listen before running your mouth.
Opinions seem simple at first.
But forming an opinion is complex indeed.
