When you break down communication skills, a large portion of it comes down to emotional resilience.
Think about it for a second.
You are about to enter a party.
And out of nowhere, you have this surge of social anxiety.
A part of you thinks that all eyes will be on you once you open the door.
Or how about, RIGHT before you are about to get up on stage to give your speech.
It’s a surge of emotions.
Emotions and communication skills go hand in hand.
And when you don’t understand those emotions, you develop a negative perception of it.
In today’s article, the goal is to give CLARITY to those emotions.
Once you understand emotions, that’s when you can display emotional resilience.
We often hear the word ‘mental toughness‘ being thrown around.
And I believe mental toughness is huge for life in general.
But let’s not forget the cousin, emotional resilience.
At the end of the day, the human at a core is an emotional creature.
Once you can begin controlling your inner energy, you will become unstoppable.
And every word that you say will exude a level of confidence.
Let’s unlock that inner potential.
What is Emotional Resilience?
‘Yo Armani, are feelings & emotions the same thing?’
Feelings are physical sensations in your body.
Emotions are perceptions of your feelings.
Feelings are neutral.
Emotions are subjective.
Emotional resilience is defined as one’s ability to adapt to stressful situations.
That’s the core of it.
You develop emotional resilience during times of darkness, not light.
Happy emotions are great, don’t get me wrong.
But the resilience portion can only be exercised during times of tension.
Importance of Emotional Resilience
Emotional resilience is important in all aspects of life.
Without it, you become overly sensitivity & will rarely take action.
Since this site is about communication skills, let’s give you an example that deals within that realm.
Let’s talk about giving a speech at Toastmasters.
When I first joined Toastmasters, I was a pure mess in terms of public speaking.
I’d overthink the little details & undermine the large concepts.
For my Icebreaker speech, I felt like I did a great job!
This was my first official speech as a Toastmasters member.
I’m sure I did well in the eyes of everyone.
‘Well, did you?
In terms of an icebreaker speech? Yes! I did pretty well.
But not everyone felt that way.
Apparently my back was turned to one section of the audience for most of the speech.
Due to that, I was given praise.
But I was also given criticism.
Let’s be real.
Criticism always sounds louder than praise.
And it was no different for me.
When I first heard the criticism, I was sad.
My emotions were hurt.
Not going to lie, a part of me wanted to throw in the towel.
But afterwards, one of the veteran Toastmasters came up to me & let me know that criticism was just a part of the game.
- Public speaking involves humans.
- Humans have a lot of opinions.
- Opinions can boost your ego OR hurt your feelings.
‘Learn to not let good opinions get to your head or mean opinions get to your heart’ he said.
Emotional resilience is crucial because it allows you to keep moving forward.
No matter which part of life you are in, we all have to deal with humans at one point or another.
We have to deal with tough emotions.
But how we bounce back is the ultimate test of character.
Think long term, not short.
How to Develop Emotional Resilience
Developing emotional resilience comes down to knowing yourself.
Sure, you can watch motivational speeches or read a lot of books.
But at the end of the day, emotional resilience is like our thumbprint.
We all have different flavors of emotional resilience.
But at the core of it all, it comes down to:
Taking action DESPITE negative emotions.
Earlier on in this article, I explained the difference between feelings & emotions.
I stated feelings were neutral, while emotions were subjective.
And unless you get to know your feelings, most of the emotions will be subjective with a negative tilt.
Getting to know your TRUE self often happens in the darkness.
So explore journaling or being more introspective.
Talk to yourself about things that you try to hide.
And ponder thoughts that make you uncomfortable.
During moments of exploring the uncomfortable, you are conditioning your mind to navigate the storms.
Storms that would have thrown your past self off…
But nowadays, it’s different.
When you seek to actively explore the dark parts of you, that’s when you become more emotionally resilient.
- People who lack emotional resilience run away from discomfort.
- People who have emotional resilience, can sit with discomfort & take action anyways.
Which brings me to my next point.
It’s okay to be nervous before you are about to be brave.
Every human has different perceptions of bravery.
But it comes down to making a move despite feeling like your world is going to end.
Reality check, more often than not, it will not end.
So when you are going up on stage to give that speech, EMBRACE the nerves you are feeling while walking on stage.
Those nerves don’t define you.
You define it.
As you feel the nerves, you realize that it is quite therapeutic.
And it allows your primal brain to disengage the negative perception & engage the neutral sensations.
That’s when you’ll take action.
That’s emotional resilience.
Leverage Emotional Resilience for Optimal Confidence
Your brain & emotions are always in contact with one another.
-When your brain & heart fights, you get anxiety.
-When your brain & heart work together, you get courage.
The world of communication skills is no cakewalk.
It’s the path of winners & those who want something more.
They want to use their experiences, wisdom & knowledge to influence.
The power to influence is earned, not given.
Need to put your reps in champ.
But it all comes down to learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions & take action anyways.
Adapt when you need to adapt.
As cliche as it may sound: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
The human brain has crazy potential.
But never forget about the human heart.
The combination of your brain & heart is what will allow you to turn that potential energy into kinetic energy.
Energy which will show the world the depths of your emotional resilience.
– ArmaniTalks 🎙️🔥