Dating Red Flag: The Adult-Child

The following chapter is from the Armani Archives - Soft Skills Edition

Do not date someone that you have to babysit.

You are not a parent.

If they are holding you back from reaching your full potential, end it.

‘Well duh Armani…’

It may seem obvious to you, but you may be stuck in this loop & not even know it.

‘Me??’

Ya. If you are in love, you become blinded to the small things.

Let’s make sure you’re not on this boat

In this scenario, we are going to discuss the winner-loser relationship dynamic.

The Winner:

• ambitious
• has a life purpose
• feels complete

The Loser:

• unambitious
• does not have a life purpose
• feels incomplete

The winner goes into the relationship looking for love. The loser goes into the relationship THINKING they are looking for love.

But in reality?

They are looking for someone to balance out their chaotic world.

The loser is not ready for a relationship.

They can barely even take care of themselves!

This is a child in an adult’s body.

‘So how come the winner gets into a relationship with the loser?’

Because the loser puts on an act in the initial stages, just like a lot of people do. They say all the right things, do the right things. The winner is impressed & feels like they met the right person.

So, they date.

As time elapses, the loser has gotten the winner to fall in love with them. But as the love stage occurs, something else occurs as well.

‘Like what??’

The core personality of the loser begins to show up.

Signs of a Loser:

• 0 Life mission
• Emotionally unstable
• Overly negative
• Has toxic friends
• Gossips like they get paid for it
• Always makes the same mistakes

The list goes on….

‘So why doesn’t the winner just leave?’

Because they are in love. And their emotions are overpowering their logic. Although the red flags are evident, the winner’s ego & heart blinds them from it.

‘So what do they do?’

They go on a journey to fix their partner.

The winner foolishly thinks just because they have the right intentions, that they can rewire someone else’s subconscious mind. So they try to fix away.

-Lecturing the person.

-Confusing behaviors as mistakes.

-Giving praise for the expected.

-Babysitting…

As they try to fix this human, they become less productive.

‘Why?’

Because fixing a human requires energy!!

Remember:

-Energy is finite, not infinite.

All this energy is being taken away from their dreams, goals & life purpose.

All this for what?

Absolutely nothing.

If a human doesn’t want to change, then you will NOT get them to change.

Dump them & move on with your life.

Find someone who meets your standards, not someone who you have to continuously alter your standards for.

Keep telling ya fam: you are not a PARENT, you are a PARTNER.

Although the words look alike, does not mean they are alike.

Quit trying to fix people.

Realize your potential & allow your logic to work WITH your emotions, not be controlled by it.

Be emotionally intelligent.

If you find this article strangely relatable, then you may be getting played. You know what to do.

Question is, will you do it?

The choice is yours.

For More Tips to Improve EQ, Checkout the Armani Archives!