Are Mentors Overrated? My Unfiltered Response

Ever since Tai Lopez came on the scene in 2011, I heard the word “mentors” more.

He kept talking about how successful people leveraged mentors.

After Tai’s meteoric rise, many began to echo the same sentiment.

They talked about how a mentor would skyrocket success.

The concept of mentors is not new.

There have been plenty of scientists, authors, and workers who sought guidance in the past.

But in my opinion, mentors are overrated!

When someone seeks a mentor too fast, they trade their grit for dependence.

Are you Asking Google-able Questions?

One time, a kid from Nigeria DM’d me on Twitter.

He asked:

‘Mr. Armani, may I ask a question?’

I said, sure.

He asked:

‘Mr. Armani, would you be my mentor?’

Chuckling at his straightforwardness, I asked:

‘Mentor for what?’

He said:

‘Public speaking.’

I said:

‘I don’t know if I have the time to be a mentor but ask me any question. I have 20 minutes of free time.’

He asked:

‘Mr. Armani, what is Toastmasters?’

What is Toastmasters??

Fam, you can Google that!!

I could tell this guy did not need a mentor.

What he really needed were more fuckups and experience.

The Beauty of Failure

I once saw this clip of an engineering senior design project.

The students were trying to make their toy helicopter fly around this set trail.

The helicopter would leverage artificial intelligence to get smarter.

All it needed was more data to refine its movements.

At first, the helicopter was flying around the trail in a jagged motion.

The helicopter looked drunk!

Wobbling left and right.

This helicopter was:

• Bumping into walls.
• Going off the trail.
• Diving into the ground.

Despite all these failures, the college students looked hopeful.

The helicopter was recording all the data.

Soon, the helicopter became less wobbly.

Less wobbly….

Less wobbly….

More precise.

Eventually, the helicopter had gotten so smart that it flew perfectly alongside the trail.

It looked like there was a string that connected the helicopter to the trail, guiding it.

That’s how perfect it was!

Imagine if the helicopter could talk and it said to the trail:

‘Allow me to fly on your path.

The trail would say:

‘You haven’t fucked up enough.’

So, the helicopter continued to fuck up & refine.

Why Mentors Lead to Dependence

I’m not a big fan of early mentorship because I believe it kills a person’s inner dog.

Being able to research information & act on that information (despite uncertainty) shows who will last in a field & who will be weeded out.

Let’s say a newbie is looking to set up a website to create an affiliate marketing business.

Immediately, the newbie begins looking for a mentor.

Once he finds a mentor, his first question is:

‘How do I set up a WordPress site?’

The newbie thinks this is a reasonable question.

But the mentor is furious! The mentor thinks:

‘You couldn’t Google that?’

A lot of folks who seek early mentorship have minimal ability to strategically surf the internet.

Their inability to ability to self-educate themselves on the fundamentals is a major red flag for future mentors.

Plus, do you know what happens when someone is unable to self-educate?

‘What?’

They become victims to scam artists.

When you have a vacuum in your mind, many folks will sell you on the latest get-rich-quick scheme.

They’ll use a bunch of fancy words, show you some screenshots of their revenue, flood you with ads…

And you’ll pull out your wallet.

When you lack experience, all advice seems like good advice!

In addition to getting scammed with unneeded courses, you also have no clue when you are overspending on a service.

One time, I was trying to get a few podcasts edited.

One of the guys I was interviewing said:

‘That’ll be 100 dollars per episode.’

I burst out laughing.

‘Dude, I do this all the time. What I’m asking of you is a 10-dollar per episode service.’

When you mainly have your mentor’s strategies and insights but lack experiences of your own, your ability to spot bullshit in others is nonexistent.

When Mentors Are Good

I do believe mentors serve a lot of practical value.

However, timing is important.

‘When would you say is a good time to get mentors, Armani?’

• When you can ask laser-targeted questions.

I practiced public speaking for 3 years in Toastmasters.

Around 2019, I worked with a public speaking coach.

One of the questions I asked was:

‘How do I know when to build an interactive opener vs a passive opener, when I have no clue what the audience is like?’

That question is not something that easily populates on Google.

The coach responded:

‘Who cares what they want? You’re the speaker. You direct the flow.’

Nice response.

I knew this guy had experience.

He was a referral from a friend who did his service a few months prior.

Before allowing someone to be your mentor, I believe you should check their receipts.

How you check their receipts is up to you.

It can be done through asking people, checking out their digital footprint, or just analyzing them.

Even if I didn’t get a referral from my buddy, the minute I met my coach, I could tell he had an impressive speaking style that I wanted to learn from.

Final Thoughts on Mentors

Nowadays, it feels like there is mentor saturation.

It started with Tai Lopez in 2011.

Then courses became popular in 2016.

Soon, many course creators were subliminally saying:

‘Forget the process, I’ll save you time!’

But here’s my philosophy on cultivating skillsets:

• I’m not trying to save time; I’m trying to spend time!

I want the process, the data, the fuckups, the wins, the memories & the battle-scars.

So, by the time I do find a suitable mentor, I’m not asking questions that show my inexeperience.

I must have skin in the game.

Only then can I ask brilliant questions.

For more insights on how to learn better, check out my book, Modern-Day Polymath

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