Your Words Don’t Matter as Much as You Think

One of the toughest pills to swallow is that your words don’t matter as much as you think.

Ironically, this is one of the most liberating feelings out there.

Yes, your words matter to some extent, of course.

But your ego tends to elevate them to a level of extreme importance.

And because of that, you second-guess yourself in communication.

This second-guessing makes you lose races before they even begin.

You overthink the “perfect” things to say, only for the perfect moment to pass you by.

What Really Matters in Communication

What truly matters in communication is intention.

Intention leads to beautiful tonality.

Intention and tonality matter far more than the words themselves.

A few years into my content creation journey, I started to feel friction in my communication.

Why was I feeling so tense?

So, I reverse-engineered the issue.

The tension came from my need to be “perfect” in my speaking.

If I stuttered or misspoke on a podcast, I couldn’t possibly upload that, right?

So, I polished everything.

But then, when I spoke with friends, I started sounding overly polished.

The problem?

They weren’t polished back.

This created a chaotic environment where I struggled to express myself.

I was trying to maintain a train of thought while simultaneously trying not to misspeak.

Each time I tried to speak in those conditions, I kept failing.

The tension in the air was unbearable.

When Things Changed

Things changed when I embraced imperfection.

Who cares if I mess up?

I’ll talk anyway!

With that perspective, it became much easier to speak.

Sure, I messed up here and there

Words got mispronounced…

But it didn’t matter!

The conversation had already moved on.

If Words Matter So Little, Then What Does Matter?

It’s intention that matters.

A few years ago, I developed something I call the “Intention Light Switch.”

Think of it like a light switch:

• A light is either on or off. It can’t be both.

If you toggle the switch halfway, the light won’t turn on.

It’s the same with your voice.

Either speak, or don’t bother.

But when you do speak, make sure the light is on.

Don’t get stuck in the middle ground of hesitation.

Look around, and you’ll notice that people who rise in companies often say a lot without actually saying much.

It’s not that they’re completely useless…

But it’s that their willingness to speak gives them presence.

When you speak, you immediately start influencing others’ thoughts.

If you have something to say, say it.

Avoid overthinking the perfect words or timing.

Here’s a helpful reminder:

• People have short-term memories.

What you think others will focus on for a long time will likely be forgotten within seconds.

When you realize you’re just an extra in someone else’s movie (not the main character) you’ll feel a breath of fresh air.

You’ll feel more compelled to say what you want to say.

Avoid Being Careless

Of course, this advice comes with a caution:

• Don’t say whatever pops into your mind without consideration.

That can lead to being rude or hurtful.

Be mindful, but don’t overthink.

Practice speaking in various situations:

• Asking for directions
• Making small talk with a coworker
• Talking on a podcast

Observe how your voice sounds.

For example, I’ve been working on making my voice “warmer.”

Whatever “warm” means to you, aim for that.

Great communicators often start with a general feel, then fine-tune it.

When they focus too much on rigid rules…stand like this, move your mouth like that, use these words…they get stiff.

Instead, operate in the general.

Focus on the overall feel.

Over time, your ability to communicate will sharpen.

Everything I’m saying here will start to feel like common sense.

Final Thoughts

The world moves fast, especially nowadays.

People can’t focus for long.

Don’t flood conversations with too many words.

If you want to talk, then talk.

This simple formula will help you get your words out much faster.

Embrace all aspects of communication over time.

This post is for those who tend to overthink.

The world doesn’t care about your words as much as you think.

That should be a liberating feeling!

It’s okay to make mistakes and be imperfect.

For more insights into public speaking, check out the Speaking Wizard eBook

– ArmaniTalks