{"id":14654,"date":"2023-11-26T21:01:44","date_gmt":"2023-11-26T21:01:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/armanitalks.com\/?p=14654"},"modified":"2023-11-26T21:08:58","modified_gmt":"2023-11-26T21:08:58","slug":"how-to-carry-a-conversation-for-beginners","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/armanitalks.com\/how-to-carry-a-conversation-for-beginners\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Carry a Conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n
Carrying a conversation is difficult to do.<\/p>\n
But if you can do it, then you have a skill set that can be applied to multiple parts of life.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
What is a podcast really?<\/p>\n
It’s just an audio file of a person or multiple people talking.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Every now and then, there is a host who invites a guest to his show.<\/p>\n
The host then proceeds to carry the conversation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
If the host is lucky, then he has an engaged guest who is talkative.<\/p>\n
Talkative people make the host’s job easy.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
But every now and then, we have the zombie.<\/p>\n
This is a guest who is forced to show up to the show because his manager made him.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Rather than put in any effort to participate in the conversation, he makes the host do all the work.<\/p>\n
The host asks questions.<\/p>\n
The rude guest gives 1-word responses.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
This makes the host’s job much harder.<\/p>\n
Let’s break down what it means to carry the conversation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Carrying the conversation is when one person is choosing the direction of the talk.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
This is hard to spot by the way.<\/p>\n
Because the direction is invisible.<\/p>\n
The content, we can hear.<\/p>\n
But the direction is something that requires fine eyes.<\/p>\n
Better yet, fine ears.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There’s this podcast called Impaulsive that started off with a bang a few years ago.<\/p>\n
For the longest time, Logan Paul was the villain of YouTube.<\/p>\n
However, even his haters gave him props for the Impaulsive Podcast.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Logan and his team would discuss topics from culture.<\/p>\n
The camaraderie, great production, and humor made the show compelling.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Later, Logan’s star power grew.<\/p>\n
He had other responsibilities and became disengaged with the Impaulsive podcast.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Today, he and his cohost slap a few episodes together.<\/p>\n
It’s easy to tell that Logan just shows up.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
How is the podcast still running?<\/p>\n
Because of his co-host, Mike.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
If you look closely, Mike is carrying the conversation.<\/strong><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
It’s not like Logan sits there like a dummy, but Mike is the one who:<\/p>\n
\n
- Notices awkward silences<\/a> with a guest and immediately jumps in to fill in conversation material.<\/li>\n
- Thinks of different questions to ask.<\/li>\n
- Thinks of where the direction of the episode will go.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/p>\n
For a long time, Mike didn’t get respect.<\/p>\n
As of late, if you read the comments on the Impaulsive podcast, it’s flooded with:<\/p>\n
\u2018Good job Mike for carrying another Impaulsive episode.’<\/em><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Slowly, the person carrying the conversation is being given his roses.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Why Carrying a Conversation is a Needed Skillset<\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
The 2 steps to carry a conversation are to:<\/p>\n
\n
- Know a lot.<\/li>\n
- Contribute when you sense dead air.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
I\u2019ll break down these 2 steps shortly.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Before I do, let me preface with something:<\/p>\n
\n
- Ideally, it’s best to talk to someone who WANTS to talk to you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/p>\n
When all members are engaged in a conversation, it doesn\u2019t ever feel like anyone has to \u201ccarry\u201d a conversation.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
However, at times, we may find ourselves talking to:<\/p>\n
\n
- A shy person.<\/li>\n
- A disinterested guest.<\/li>\n
- Someone who puts in the effort but is sooooo boring.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/p>\n
In scenarios like this, we need to be able to carry the conversation.<\/p>\n
With that being said, let\u2019s break down the 2 steps of carrying a conversation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
1. \u00a0Know A Lot<\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
When you know a lot, it\u2019s easier to adapt on the fly.<\/p>\n
I know many people in the self-improvement space who struggle with knowing a lot.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
They know a lot about self-improvement, but beyond that, they fall flat.<\/p>\n
They say stuff like:<\/p>\n
‘Why should I know anything about pop culture? People interested in that are low lives.’<\/em><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Well, guess what bud?<\/p>\n
Every now and then, you have to talk to “low lives\u201d.<\/p>\n
Therefore, it\u2019s smart to know a lot about a lot of things.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I try to consume anything that I am somewhat curious about.<\/p>\n
There have been plenty of times I thought:<\/p>\n
‘This info will never help me.’<\/em><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
But one day, this random info allowed me to relate with someone.<\/p>\n
When you know a lot, you have the confidence to carry the conversation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
2. Contribute When you Sense Dead Air<\/h2>\n
<\/p>\n
A while back, I went to this recruitment event where a lady was talking to a group of 20 potential hires.<\/p>\n
The lady was waiting for her boss to show up.<\/p>\n
The boss was going to give a presentation that would convince the 20 students to join the company.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Since the boss was running late, the lady was leading the room.<\/p>\n
\n
- She’d tell stories about herself.<\/li>\n
- She’d tell stories about her time in the company.<\/li>\n
- Every now and then, she’d ask one of the 20 students to share something about themselves.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/p>\n
When she’d ask:<\/p>\n
‘Any volunteers?’<\/em><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Initially, a few students raised their hands.<\/p>\n
After the 3rd student went up, no more hands were being raised.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Rather than standing there in silence, the lady automatically began talking again.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/p>\n
I noticed what this lady was doing.<\/p>\n
She could sense dead air so well.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When there were voices chirping, she wouldn’t say anything.<\/p>\n
But when there was a millisecond too long of a silence, she activated talking mode.<\/p>\n
That’s what we need to do when carrying a conversation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Sometimes, we’ll ask a question, and the recipient is filled with words.<\/p>\n
Other times, we’ll ask a question, and the other person gives a few words and that’s it.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
During those moments, we\u2019ll sense dead air.<\/em><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We can either:<\/p>\n
\n
- Stay silent.<\/li>\n
- Pout and talk in a halfhearted way because we didn’t get the response we wanted.<\/li>\n
- Be like that lady and activate talking mode with full enthusiasm.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/p>\n
Bullets 1 and 2 will not allow you to carry the conversation.<\/p>\n
Bullet 3 will allow you to carry the conversation.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
When you sense dead air, say something.<\/p>\n
Anything.<\/p>\n
It can be a follow-up question, joke, story, etc.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
If you\u2019re talking to a close friend, then being silent with them is fine.<\/p>\n
But if you\u2019re trying to carry a conversation for a podcast, recruitment event, date, etc.<\/p>\n
Know when to spot dead air and contribute.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
For more social skills tips, be sure to check out the Charisma King eBook<\/a><\/h2>\n