Why Watching Sad Content Feels Good
2 weeks ago, was strange for me.
I was watching a lot of sad content.
From people who were watching their dog die in the vet.
Exes meeting up after 4 years and talking about why they broke up.
To fathers talking about how they felt helpless when their daughters were kidnapped.
A bunch of sad stuff.
That week was a unique week.
I was already feeling out of it.
However, when I was watching the sad content, it made me feel good.
This felt counterintuitive.
How does watching sad stuff when we are sad make us happy?
Sad Music
A long time ago, I went through a bad breakup.
After the breakup, I was out of it.
This was when I decided to commit to self-improvement.
Let me work through my pain!
One day, as I was going to the gym, I was listening to this sad song called:
- Somebody that I used to know.
I heard that song countless times but never listened to the lyrics.
On this dark morning, as I drove to the gym, I listened to all the lyrics.
It was about a couple who used to be so cool…
They talked about their future together.
They thought they were going to be together forever.
To only break up.
After the breakup, they didn’t keep in touch.
It’s like they were strangers.
As I heard the song, I didn’t feel alone anymore.
Here was a song vividly describing my current emotional state.
I felt good because I no longer felt alone.
How We Determine if Content is Good
We view content as good when we can relate to it.
How we relate to content will depend.
Let’s say you’re shy.
And let’s say there is a YouTube channel that teaches you how to overcome shyness.
Even if the YouTuber is delivering his talk in a boring, monotone voice, you will still be drawn to it because they are clearly explaining your current position.
You can relate to the content.
During sad moments, we can relate to sad content.
In that process of relating, we are enamored.
We no longer feel alone.
I was watching a lot of these sad videos of soldiers returning home from war.
The kids often didn’t even recognize the parent.
It made me think:
‘Dang, the soldier made sacrifices in both dimensions of their life. Work and family.’
When I see that, it makes me more committed when I make sacrifices in my life.
Rather than whining, I think of the toughness of the soldiers.
I relate to the content…
Seeing What We Don’t Want Helps Us Understand What We Do Want
I watched this video of 2 exes meeting up after years.
During their talk, they talked about the good times, how they talked about their future, the reason for the breakup, and much more.
The content was so sad.
As I watched it, my body physically felt weird.
I felt warm, jittery, and engaged to what I was watching.
After watching the content, it made me way more appreciative of my current relationship.
It helped me see that I didn’t want to lose my current partner to silly mistakes.
As I watched the content of the 2 exes, I saw everything that I didn’t want.
After watching that video, I was way more engaged in my current relationship.
A lot of times, when we watch sad content, it activates such strong feelings in us that it leads to transformative changes.
We aren’t just motivated by pleasure.
We are more motivated when running away from pain.
Should You Always Watch Sad Content?
I think watching sad content is best in doses.
When you consume negative stuff too much, it makes you a bitter, lost soul.
I consume sad content for a few days to a week before I revert back to my regular scheduled programming.
Let’s say it’s March.
During March, for most nights, I’m watching King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond.
Both are feel-good shows.
Then one week, I will watch unsolved murders.
I’ll watch confessions of killers admitting to their crimes.
How to catch a predator.
The dark stuff.
I don’t get stuck on the negative train for long.
Often, it doesn’t even last a week.
It lasts a few days before I go back to King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond.
In the weeks when I watch too much negative content, I wake up feeling sad or anxious.
So, I like to have boundaries for when I will consume dark content.
Watching Dark Stuff Feels Good
There was this one episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where the wife, Debra, wanted the house to herself.
Ray took the kids to his parents’ house, and he was supposed to go golfing.
He forgot something at home, so he drove back.
Once he arrives, he sees Debra crying.
He watches in private as his wife is sobbing up.
Ray wonders what he did wrong.
Later in the episode, he asked her why was she tearing up for?
She said:
‘It’s because it feels good to have a good cry every now and then.’
It’s sort of like if your stomach is nauseous and bubbling a lot.
Then you throw up.
If you know, you know…
But after throwing up, once the feeling settles, it feels SOOO good.
It’s like you resetted your stomach back to your factory settings.
It’s like that with negative content as well.
Human Nature Isn’t Always Pretty
I think it’s better to be an optimist rather than a pessimist.
However, it’s good to not be so optimistic that you become delusional.
Human nature isn’t always pretty.
Murders happen.
Betrayals happen.
Freak accidents happen.
Having some awareness of the dark parts of the world will keep you grounded in reality.
Just don’t overdo it.
Sad lyrics make more sense when we are sad.
Now we have something to relate to.
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– ArmaniTalks 
