Why Speaking Too Loud in Public is Poor Etiquette
There was a time when I used to believe that libraries always had a librarian ready to shush noisy visitors.
But when I was in college, I realized that this was just a figment of TV shows.
There were moments when people talked way too loudly in the library, completely ignoring the quiet environment.
I was baffled by how some individuals could be so oblivious to their surroundings.
I always thought I could never be like that…until one day, I was.
A few of my fraternity brothers found me while I was studying and started talking to me.
They weren’t just chatting.
They were loud.
They even roasted me a bit, and I fired back.
We went back and forth, enjoying the banter, until a girl wearing a hijab finally spoke up:
“Hey, you guys are very loud!”
The moment she said that, we immediately quieted down.
It was in that instant I realized how disruptive we had been.
Being overly loud in public is simply poor etiquette, and it’s something worth improving.
The Importance of Volume Control in Public Spaces
There are times when raising your voice is necessary, like in a group meeting where you need to be heard.
However, there’s a time and place for everything.
When you’re in a five-star restaurant where everyone else is quietly enjoying their meal, shouting across the table is not just disruptive.
It’s disrespectful.
People around you might not say anything directly, but they’re definitely thinking it: Why can’t this person be quiet?
Some people argue, Why should I change for others?
The answer is simple:
- Basic courtesy.
It’s not about losing yourself.
It’s about considering how you would feel in the same situation.
If you were out for a fancy dinner, would you want to be surrounded by people yelling?
Probably not.
Selfish vs. Empathetic Logic
People who are inconsiderate about their voice aren’t necessarily lacking logic, they just apply it selfishly.
They only think about their own enjoyment and not about how their actions affect others.
On the other hand, an empathetic person applies logic on a broader scale.
They consider how their actions impact the waiter, the other patrons, and the general atmosphere of the setting.
Choosing to be empathetic in these situations improves not only your social awareness but also how others perceive you.
Recognizing When You’re Too Loud
Most people won’t outright tell you that you’re being too loud because they prefer to avoid confrontation.
Instead, they might give you the look.
The kind that silently says, Really? You’re making me deal with this?
If you struggle with volume control, try to build self-awareness. Ask yourself:
- Are people around me whispering while I’m speaking at full volume?
- Are others turning to look at me?
- Is my voice echoing in the space?
If you’re unsure, a close friend or family member can be a great resource.
I always let my close cousins know when they’re getting too loud because I’d rather they hear it from me than a stranger.
Some People Are Naturally Loud, But That’s Not an Excuse
Some people have naturally loud voices, even when they try to speak softly.
But rather than using that as an excuse, it’s better to acknowledge it and work on adjusting your volume.
There’s a reason the term indoor voice exists.
If you default to that’s just who I am, you leave no room for improvement.
Instead, take a growth-oriented mindset:
- Recognize that you speak loudly.
- Identify situations where it’s inappropriate.
- Practice lowering your voice in quiet settings.
Social Awareness and Likeability
Think of using an indoor voice like re-racking your weights at the gym.
If you leave heavy weights lying around, it’s inconsiderate to others who need to use the equipment.
Similarly, if you speak loudly in quiet environments, you’re creating an unnecessary disturbance for others.
Being mindful of your volume shows social awareness, and people will appreciate that.
Likeability is a skill, and the more you work on it, the better you’ll get at it.
For more insights into public speaking, check out the Speaking Wizard eBook
– ArmaniTalks 
