Why Socially Intelligent People Don’t Trust Easily
The following post is from EPIC: 101 Short Stories, Essays, and Insights to Improve Communication Skills
Socially intelligent people don’t trust easily.
They became socially intelligent in the first place by dealing with a lot of backstabbing.
This group knows the art of building rapport without revealing too much about themselves.
‘Wait a minute bucko! I thought building rapport was all about revealing myself to the other.’
Nah. You’re skipping steps homie.
And when you skip steps, you get snake bites.
Let me give you a little social dynamics lesson.
You become socially intelligent by gaining social experience.
No way around that.
And when you gain social experience, you learn that the real world ain’t all butterflies & rainbows.
You learn that there are a lot of snakes out there.
You learn that a lot of people do not have your best interest in mind.
Which is why you NEED a social filtration system.
The Social Filter:
-Stage 1: break ice
-Stage 2: break wall
-Stage 3: build rapport
-Stage 4: friend
Stage 1: Break Ice
This is the introduction stage. Socially intelligent people love to break the ice because it builds the social muscle & shows courage. A simple ‘hello’ is enough to get stage 1 started.
Stage 2: Break Wall
Now this person has no clue who you are, so they have their guard up. Your goal is to break thru the wall.
Typically, a sense of humor goes a LONG way in this stage. Keep the mood light here & avoid talking about real serious topics.
Stage 3: Build Rapport
See if you can find some similarities or get to know the other person more .
- Humans love similarities. Signals to the subconscious mind that the other is not a threat.
- When you try to get to know them, they warm up to you. Humans love talking about themselves.
At this point, you have an acquaintance! You should stop here for most people. Only a select few should make it to the next stage.
A small friend circle allows for more meaningful social bonds & less stress. Fuck the more friends, more popular mantra.
Stage 4: Friend
You have filtered out most of the people & the rare ones have made it to this coveted stage. This group should be:
-loyal
-helps you grow
-supports your mission
And there you have it!
- Stranger -> Friend
The more social experience you gain, the better off you will be in making intelligent social decisions.
Avoid revealing too much to strangers like a tityboy & you’ll have less snake bites on your back.
Filter correctly & you’ll have the right circle in no time.
GET EPIC: 101 SHORT STORIES, ESSAYS & INSIGHTS TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS!
📖 Paperback/Kindle
📖 Audiobook
– ArmaniTalks 
