Why Skinny Shaming is Worse Than Fat Shaming

Growing up, I was super skinny, and in the Bengali culture, being skinny made you a target for criticism.

I would always hear comments from uncles and aunties.

I was called “the stick” so many times, while my brother, who was fat, was left alone.

In our culture, being fat is seen as a sign of being well-fed and healthy, so no one ever teased him.

But for me, it was relentless.

And it didn’t stop in childhood.

As I grew up, skinny shaming continued to follow me.

When I was younger, I was very thin, but over time, I gained a lot of muscle.

And as soon as I gained weight, I noticed an immediate difference in how I was treated.

People respected me more.

Among men, if you’re bigger, you automatically gain respect.

But when I was skinny, people would just make fun of me.

At one point, I decided that being big wasn’t for me.

I worked hard to slim down, and as soon as people saw the new me, they were shocked.

Instead of celebrating my achievement, they started criticizing me. “Armani, what happened? Why are you so skinny?”

They made fun of me again, left and right.

I found it odd.

Other people returned from summer break and gained weight, but no one said anything to them.

Maybe people muttered under their breath, but no one called them out.

Fat shaming seemed taboo.

But when it came to being skinny, people felt totally comfortable making jokes right to my face.

The Difference Between Skinny Shaming and Fat Shaming

Having been both skinny and fat, I’ve noticed a clear difference in how people handle these situations.

Among close friends and family, people will tell you exactly what they think.

Your boys, parents, uncles, and aunties will tell you if you’ve gained weight or lost it.

But I’ve noticed that in the workplace or with people who aren’t as close, there’s a filter.

People won’t directly say you’re fat because it’s considered poor etiquette.

There’s so much media and content out there warning about the dangers of fat shaming, and society views calling someone fat as unacceptable.

In contrast, there’s no social filter for skinny shaming.

Skinny people are often seen as the enemy.

The body positivity movement, which aims to celebrate all body types, tends to focus on larger people.

You rarely see a super-skinny person being celebrated in the body positivity movement.

Instead, skinny people are vilified.

In the world of modeling, skinny people are seen as setting an unfair standard of beauty, so they’re criticized.

But beyond that, people just feel comfortable insulting skinny people.

You could barely know someone, and they’d still comment on your weight.

They’ll tell you to eat more, as if their words don’t affect you.

I remember when I cut down and lost weight, I never knew which interaction would be smooth and which would take a weird turn with comments like, “You don’t eat?”

Common Skinny Shaming Comments

There are a few questions and comments that skinny people hear all the time. Here are some of the most common ones:

• “Did you stop eating?”
  This is one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever heard. How do you even respond to that? People say it as if it’s a casual observation, but it’s completely absurd.
• “You’re so small.”
  This comment stings because it feels like an attack on your manhood. No guy wants to be called small. It’s an insult. And if you’re working out, hearing this after putting in so much dedication and discipline just strips away all your hard work in one sentence.

Sometimes, it’s not even the direct comments that sting.

It’s the invisible gestures, like when people assume you’re too weak to do something.

I remember a time when some aunties needed help moving pots filled with food, and they acted like I couldn’t lift them.

Sure, I’m smaller than I used to be, but I’m not weak.

Don’t disrespect me like that.

Skinny Shaming Is Real

This isn’t a competition about which is worse, fat shaming or skinny shaming.

I just wanted to shed light on the fact that skinny shaming is real, and people are far more direct about calling someone skinny than they are about calling someone fat.

In cartoons, you may see bullies making fun of a fat kid, but in real life, that rarely happens.

With skinny people, though, it happens all the time.

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– ArmaniTalks