Why People Show Up Fashionably Late
When I was a kid, I noticed something…
Whenever my family and I went to a party, we rarely arrived on time.
The invitation might say the party starts at 8:00 PM, but we’d show up at 8:30, and we wouldn’t be the only ones arriving late.
As a child, I thought we were late, but in reality, everyone else was showing up around the same time.
As I grew up, I began to see this as the norm.
Showing up “fashionably late” was part of the social code.
But there’s a fine line between being fashionably late and just plain old late, and it’s something I had to learn over time.
There came a point when I started extending the concept of being fashionably late.
Instead of arriving 15 to 30 minutes late, I started arriving much later.
Like when the party was almost over!
My friends would joke, “Wow, Armani actually showed up! Just at the end!”
I quickly realized there’s a cutoff.
If you show up too late, it’s no longer fashionable…it becomes disrespectful to the host.
There’s an art to arriving fashionably late.
In this blog, I’ll explore why people do it, the balance you need to strike, and why arriving exactly on time to a party may not always be the smartest move.
The Host’s Perspective: Why Fashionably Late Helps
When you’re hosting an event, things don’t always go according to plan.
You might think you have everything ready for your guests, but as the start time approaches, you realize you’ve forgotten something…
Like utensils, or maybe ice.
Suddenly, you’re rushing to Walmart, praying no one arrives at the exact start time.
This is where the concept of being fashionably late comes in handy for the host.
It gives them a buffer zone.
It allows them to gather their last-minute items or put the finishing touches on the event.
If someone shows up exactly at 8:00 PM, they may even arrive before the host is ready, which can be awkward for everyone involved.
Most guests aren’t consciously thinking about giving the host a buffer.
They show up fashionably late for different reasons.
Maybe they’re running behind on getting ready, or perhaps they’ve internalized the idea that arriving late is the “cool” thing to do.
Either way, this cultural norm works in the host’s favor by allowing them some breathing room to get everything in place.
The Downside of Being Too Punctual
Arriving on time to a party is just as bad as arriving too late.
You might have noticed that in TV shows or movies, people who show up exactly on time are seen as lame.
This may seem like an exaggeration, but it holds some truth in real life, especially in social settings.
At work, showing up on time is crucial.
Showing up early, even 10 minutes before your shift, is seen as a sign of professionalism.
But in social situations, this principle is reversed.
Showing up too early to a party can put pressure on the host, who may still be setting things up.
It will make you seem overly eager, which isn’t the impression you want to give.
So, What Is Fashionably Late?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how late is “fashionably late.”
It depends on the event, the people, and the vibe.
But I can offer some guidelines based on my own experiences.
Let’s say a party is scheduled from 8:00 PM to 12:00 AM.
If you arrive at 11:00 PM, you’re not fashionably late…you’re just late.
At that point, the party is wrapping up, and you’ve missed most of the fun.
On the flip side, showing up exactly at 8:00 PM is too early in a social context.
You risk being the only guest there, which can be awkward.
In my experience, showing up around 8:45 PM to 9:00 PM is a good sweet spot.
It gives the host enough time to get everything in order while ensuring you don’t miss out on the action.
This timing strikes a balance between being late enough to fit in with the crowd but not so late that you’re missing most of the party.
The more events you attend, the better you’ll get at judging when to arrive.
You may rush to an event a few times only to find the host saying, “You’re here already?”
Once that happens, you’ll start to understand the importance of being fashionably late.
So next time you’re invited to a party, keep in mind that showing up too early is just as bad as being too late.
And if you’re aiming to make a good impression, finding that sweet spot of being fashionably late will serve you well.
For more tips on social skills, be sure to check out my book, the Charisma King
– ArmaniTalks 
